


Still I Rise

by deluxemycroft



Series: Ouroboros [10]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Abuse, Alternate Universe, Amnesia, Banter, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Captain America: Civil War (Movie) Compliant, Civil War Team Captain America, Consensual Drowning, Consensual Violence, Curses, Dark Thor (Marvel), Deaf Clint Barton, Evil Thor, M/M, Masochism, Memory Suppressing Machine | The Chair (Marvel), Misunderstandings, Non-Sexual Submission, Past Abuse, Permanent Amnesia, Sadism, Service Submission, Sokovia Accords, Soulmates, consensual torture, just general nastiness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-10-19
Packaged: 2020-10-18 21:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 60,567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20646062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deluxemycroft/pseuds/deluxemycroft
Summary: With Thor dead, Loki is free.Of course, that comes with its own set of complications.





	1. PART 1

**Author's Note:**

> please read this fics in this verse prior to reading this one. i can’t imagine how confusing this would be without context lmao
> 
> here we go with the civil war au of this verse!
> 
> italics: telepathy  
bold: writing, text
> 
> warnings are in the tags. this fic consists of four parts. a single line break is a scene/time break, and a double line break can be considered a chapter break. hope you enjoy!

“Of course, there are rules,” Loki continued to explain, his tone a bit more imperious than the situation required. “Just because you have been previously unaware of them does not mean they do not exist.”

Loki and Wanda Maximoff were sitting in a small bare room in the Avengers Facility, both of them floating a few feet above the ground. Loki had his legs crossed underneath him while Wanda frequently changed positions, attempting to get comfortable. They both ignored the massive privacy window that dominated one wall, along with the people behind it. 

Loki motioned with one hand. “For instance,” he began, and summoned Clint Barton through the ether. 

They were treated to a loud, “Jesus fuck!” as Clint crashed to the ground, a huge bowl of popcorn flying around the room. He picked himself up off the ground and glanced around the room, groaning loudly. “You know I’m retired right?” he yelled at the privacy window. “Where’s the portal, you asshole? Send me back.” He tried to wipe melted butter off his shirt but managed to just rub it in further. He was wearing a faded green t-shirt and sweatpants with purple arrows on them. Wanda giggled at him. 

Clint turned around and glared at Loki, who continued speaking. “I cannot summon just anyone. Summoning requires familiarity, and summoning a person through space is extremely difficult. It is easy for me to summon Clint since he belongs to me. Less difficult is summoning objects.” Loki lifted a hand and Clint’s popcorn bowl zoomed past him and into Loki’s grasp. Clint rubbed at his eyes and sighed loudly. Popcorn began to lift up off the ground and float over into the bowl. “However, I can conjure nearly any inanimate object. If I can think of if, I can conjure it.” He lifted his free hand and a new bowl of freshly popped popcorn appeared in it, which he then floated over to Clint. Loki looked at Wanda and handed her the bowl. “Now, one at a time, fill the bowl. Use your seidr.”

“I was watching TV,” Clint announced to the room, throwing the full bowl at Loki, who disappeared it before it could hit him. “Just want everyone to know that. Still retired, still don’t want to be here.”

The intercom buzzed. “Barton, you can come on out,” Steve Roger’s stern voice announced. Loki stiffened at the sound while Clint didn’t react at all. The archer turned around to glare at Loki, crossing his arms over his chest.

_You said I could have one day. Jesus fucking Christ, I can’t even get a day?_

Loki waved him closer and Clint groaned as he stormed over, giving Wanda a bitter little wave as he did. “I can’t hear you,” Clint yelled at her. “I’m deaf as shit.” He turned his attention back to Loki and ramped up his glare. 

“That’s enough,” Loki told Wanda, who wasn’t even halfway through with picking up the hundreds of popcorn kernels all around the room. He waved his hand and they all disappeared. “Now, seidr can only abide by what is naturally possible. Of course, we as seidrmadrs have a far different view on what possible means. Take Clint here, for example. He was deafened some time ago, and his ears are permanently injured. He has been cursed for his ears never not fully heal.” Loki summoned Clint closer and caught his hands in a seidr handcuff, dragging him until the archer was nearly in his lap. Clint groaned out his annoyance but didn’t fight it. Loki motioned at Clint’s ear. “Now, send a tendril into his ear canal. I want you to tell me if you can feel the curse.”

Wanda frowned at him. “Loki, I don’t feel comfortable with this,” she tried, motioning to Clint, who was still grumbling under his breath. 

Loki rolled his eyes. “Life is uncomfortable,” he informed her, bordering too close to mocking. He opened a pocket dimension and pulled out an Alfheim jewel, pressing it into Clint’s hand, tapping the gem behind his ear to activate the spell. “Life is unfair and cruel. We do not even get what we deserve.”

Clint sighed and turned his head in Loki’s lap to look at the two of them. “Wanda, hey. Nice to see you again. How you holding up?”

“Are you comfortable with this?”

“Generally, no,” Clint sighed, but he shrugged as best as he was able. “Just do whatever he wants. It’s going to happen regardless.”

Wanda looked at Loki, red seidr slipping out of her fingers. “Loki,” she started, but he cut her off with an aggravated sigh.

“Often seidr requires that we do things we do not wish to do,” Loki informed her, and he laid his hand over Clint’s eyes. “Now, do as I ask. Tell me if you can feel the curse.”

She shot Clint a concerned look and visibly fought with herself, and then finally did as she was asked. A long red tendril slid from her fingers and down into Clint’s ear. He frowned and stiffened in Loki’s grasp, and almost tried to pull away but managed to stop himself. 

“There’s _something_,” she said, her voice soft and wondrous. “I can feel it. It’s...dark. Evil, almost.”

Loki nodded and his fingers moved from Clint’s eyes to pet gently through his hair. The intercom crackled. “Loki,” Steve’s voice said, “he’s not supposed to be here. Send him home.”

Loki’s shoulders tensed. “That curse you can feel is the last thing my brother did before he died,” Loki informed Wanda, ignoring Steve. “A dead man’s curse is terribly hard to dismantle.”

“Is that what we’re here to do now? Get rid of it?” She gave Clint a concerned look and stopped herself from reaching out towards him. 

Loki snorted and waved his hand through her seidr, dissolving it. He pushed Clint to his feet and pointed at the seidr handcuffs. “No, it would be pointless. You and the scientists here may have a high opinion of your abilities, but if I cannot break the curse, you would be even less likely to manage it. What I want you to do is break his handcuffs. It is a simple spell. It will be thoroughly useful in the future.”

Clint rolled his eyes and held out his hands, the Alfheim jewel shining through one of his fists. “Can’t she just give me a dream or something? This is pointless.”

“Nothing we learn is pointless. You may never know when you have to build upon an otherwise mundane skill. Seidr is no more than any other muscle. It must be used to become stronger, even when it is such a strange muscle as hers. Now, Wanda, focus.”

Red seidr wrapped around Clint’s hands. “What spell is this?” she asked, curling her fingers as she fought it. 

Loki elegantly shrugged a shoulder and rested his chin in his palm as she watched. “Child’s play. In fact, given that your seidr works so differently than mine, it should be even easier for you. Draw the energy away from the spell. It should be easier to break.”

It took her a few minutes to crumple the spell and the seidr handcuffs slid off and disappeared. Clint grinned at Wanda and then glared at Loki. “Alright, send me home.”

Loki waved his hand and Clint disappeared in a burst of green seidr. He turned to look at Wanda and said, casually, “Your seidr is very unique. In every realm I have visited, seidr is internal. That is not to say it has a limit, but it is a specific level of power that every being has. A seidrmadr can only achieve a level that correlates with their maximum potential.” He moved through the air and set his feet on the ground, pacing in front of her. “Humans are so very strange,” he said, almost as an afterthought. “It is only persons upon your realm that do not abide by the previously enacted laws, laws that _must_ be followed.”

He paused and glanced at the privacy window before looking at Wanda. “Would you like some tea?” She nodded and Loki conjured a small table with two chairs on either side, and a teapot with teacups. The teapot came out red, white, and blue before Loki glowered at it and changed it to a soft green. They both sat and Loki carefully poured each of them a cup. He took a sip of his tea and then stared down into it. “Seidr is a very personal thing,” Loki said finally. “Very intimate. It can be influenced by emotions, as you already know. It is the most important aspect of a seidrmadr. If it is locked away, we will fade away.” Loki blinked, as if thinking of something, and then narrowed his eyes at Wanda. “You were not born with your abilities. I do wonder what would—”

“Don’t even think about it,” crackled through the intercom, and Loki rolled his eyes and carelessly waved his hand in acknowledgement. 

Loki pointed at the teapot. “Refill our cups,” he told Wanda, who reached out to pick it up. Loki shook his head. “It must be first nature to reach for your seidr before your hands. Your first response should be your powers. Now, lift the teapot.”

“Is that why you use your powers for everything?” Wanda asked, a bit of teasing in her voice. “Don’t want to get rusty?”

Loki's lips tilted in a small, insincere smile. “The more you use it, the less it takes to tire you in battle. I can build upon the skills used to clean a kitchen to shape knives and weapons in a fight. I can use a spell similar to the one used to scrub floors to take the skin from a man’s body. Perhaps it is different for you, given that you manipulate energy around you, but it is still a muscle to be used.”

Red seidr wrapped around the teapot and it lifted a few inches into the air. She managed to pour Loki a cup without spilling anything, and then she glanced at him and spilled her own cup. Wanda sighed and let the teapot float back down, her hands shaking. Loki nodded at her and lifted his cup to his mouth. He took a sip and then glanced over the room.

He lifted a finger and a green bubble burst from his finger, spreading over the room. The intercom fizzled and then went quiet. Wanda stiffened and narrowed her eyes at Loki, who merely smiled at her. Red seidr flickered over one of her hands.

“Captain Rogers will get through in a few minutes. I have no desire to harm you. Now, tell me something, Miss Maximoff. Why are you doing this? Were they really so...persuasive to have you join the team, as they say?”

Wanda looked at him and lifted her chin. “Yes, I was asked. Clint told me that if I helped, I was an Avenger. I want to be one. But I need help to control myself. I hurt people, a lot of people. I have to fix that.”

Loki drummed his fingers on the table and hummed. “Interesting.” He thought to himself for a moment and then elegantly shrugged one shoulder. “Very well. Your motivations are your own. Now, mind seidr.”

“I didn’t lie,” she interrupted, furrowing her brow. 

Loki waved a hand. “Oh, of course not. Now, as I said, mind seidr.” He opened a pocket dimension and pulled out a massive tome, dropping it onto the table with a loud bang. His teacup fell off the table and shattered to the floor. Loki waved his hand over the dark, stained cover of the book and sparkles of green seidr flowed over it. He pushed to his feet and motioned Wanda to take the book. “Read this. We meet back in a few days. It is spelled so that only you can open it and understand it.” He inclined his head. “One day, your life will depend on your ability to outwit and outlast your opponent. Every step to that point is vital. Have a good day, Miss Maximoff.”

Loki disappeared right as the door slammed open and Steve and a few SHIELD agents poured in. 

“God damn it,” Steve sighed, and he walked over to Wanda, helping her to her feet and checking her over. “You alright? He didn’t do anything?”

Wanda shook her head and one by one, the teapot and the teacups and the table and chair began to disappear. The book Loki had given her began to fall, but Steve reached out and caught it. He didn’t seem bothered by whatever spell Loki had put on it. 

Wanda took the book, and then thinking about what Loki had said, she used her powers to float it in front of her. “No, he didn’t do anything. Just asked me why I’m here. I think it was more to show you that he could than to keep anything secret.” She glanced at Steve out of the corner of her eye. “You two talk yet?”

Steve escorted her out of the room, hand hovering over the small of her back. “No,” he sighed. “Still won’t talk to me.”

Wanda shrugged and focused on floating the book next to her. “He’ll come around.”

“Yeah, I hope.”

* * *

Clint crashed back onto the couch and glowered at the TV, which was still playing the movie he’d been watching, only now he didn’t have a damn idea what was going on and he didn’t have the energy to rewind it and figure out where he’d been. He sighed and turned off the TV, looking down at the Alfheim jewel he still had clutched in his hand. He slid it into the pocket of his sweatpants and heaved himself off the couch, heading into the kitchen, where, surprise, Sam and Bucky were arguing? Flirting? Was there a difference? Over some pans on the stove. 

Sam noticed him first and waved him over, pulling out his phone. 

**Making tacos. Want any?**

“Does Barnes even know what a taco is?” Clint asked, and ducked the swipe Bucky aimed at the back of his head. “As long as you’re cooking, Wilson, I’ll eat anything.” He excused himself for a minute and passed Mjolnir on the kitchen table. After a moment of consideration, Clint left the Alfheim jewel on it and murmured the activation spell while touching the stone behind his ear. His right ear tingled and he rubbed at it while he jogged upstairs to use the bathroom and wash his face. 

The jewel activated a moment later. It felt like a deus ex machina or something to let him hear without hearing aids, but it only lasted a little while and then he was back to blessed silence. Laura and Nate were taking a nap in the middle of their bed, and Clint brushed her hair off her face to press a kiss to her temple while Sam and Bucky started talking in his ear. It was kind of weird to hear something from another room, but whatever. His life was weird.

They were talking about some dream Bucky kept having. He was on a motorcycle, riding after a car on a road in the middle of a forest. It was all he could remember, but he knew it was something to do with the Winter Soldier.

Clint shook his head. After living with Bucky, who was genuine and kind-hearted and steadfast, it honestly hurt his heart to know that he’d been the Fist of HYDRA. Well, that was why Bucky was here, to keep himself safe, to get himself better. To stay in hiding because whatever dregs of HYDRA were left were gunning for him. Hopefully Cap and the new Avengers had weeded them all out. 

He couldn’t hear it, but he made plenty of noise as he went back downstairs. Bucky made some mention of a muzzle and Clint pressed his fingers to the stone behind his ear, turning the hearing spell off. Whatever that was about, he _really_ didn’t need to know.

Sam waved him into the kitchen and pushed a plate into his hands, motioning to the slapstick buffet-style taco bar they’d set up. Clint didn’t even know there was shredded lettuce or sour cream or salsa anywhere near his house. He piled up his plate and sat next to Bucky at the table, pointing at Mjolnir.

“Either of you manage it yet?”

Bucky shook his head and said something, but his hair was over his mouth so Clint could even begin to try and lip-read. Sam laid his phone on the table as he sat down across from them and Clint ate half of a taco in one bite before leaning forward and peering at it. **No, neither of us can lift it.**

“Like I said, Cap’s worthy. So is Loki, but I think that’s more because he killed the guy.” Bucky snorted into his taco mess and Clint grinned at him. “You, Wilson?”

Sam shook his head. **Couldn’t even budge it. Where’d you go earlier?**

Clint groaned and just managed to stop himself from face planting into his plate. “Loki,” he grumbled. “Needed to show everyone how big his dick is and I’m his dick.”

Bucky clapped his metal hand over his face while Sam looked at Clint with wide eyes. Clint finished his taco and grinned when Sam’s head tipped back with silent laughter. They were a bunch of dumbasses. 

The conversation turned into Sam and Bucky’s big adventure to the grocery store. Bucky was working on assimilating and being comfortable with large groups of people, and Sam was doing his sworn duty of being somewhat supportive and somewhat antagonistic. Clint rested his chin in his hand as he watched Sam's phone as the two of them talked about some lady that had knocked all the potatoes off the shelf and one of them landed on Bucky’s foot and he almost shot it with the gun he kept on his ankle. That meant, of course, that Sam had to tell him he didn’t _need_ to take a gun to the grocery store, which mean that Bucky had to argue that he _did_ need a gun in the grocery store, and then they had to leave and go to a different grocery store because security overheard them and was giving them dark looks for talking about guns in the middle of the produce section. 

Laura came downstairs with Nate in her arms and Bucky hurried to his feet to get her a plate and help her to a chair. Clint picked up Sam’s phone and typed in, _You got a good one there._ Sam nodded and rubbed at the back of his neck and gave Bucky a soft, kind look. **Yeah, man, I know,** Sam replied, and he gathered up his and Clint’s empty plates to take them to the sink. He brushed a kiss over Bucky’s cheek on the way, and Clint grinned as Bucky’s whole face burst into a blush. Cute as hell.

He took Nate from his wife and cradled his baby against his chest, watching the conversation on Sam’s phone flow from how good of a cook they were to Sam and Bucky working on installing flashing lights connected to the doorbell, as well as getting different smoke and CO2 alarms, and an app for his phone that connected to a doohickey or whatever that would alert him if Nate was crying or someone was calling for him. They were all also learning sign language, which meant Clint really had to start remembering what he’d learned as a kid.

He was genuinely touched. 

He looked away from all of them and down at his son. 

Cold fingers pressed into the back of his neck and Clint leaned against Loki’s side, tilting his head back to look up at his god. _How’d it go?_

_As well as could be expected. I’ll be returning in a few days to continue her training._ Loki bent over his shoulder and brushed his fingers over Nate’s forehead, the baby blinking wide eyes up at him. Clint handed him the baby and got up to make Loki a plate out of the scraps they’d all left. It wasn’t like Loki knew what a taco was supposed to be anyway. Clint piled his plate high and poured some shredded cheese into his mouth as he went back to the table, sliding in between Bucky and Loki. Loki handed Nate down the table to Laura and Clint watched as Loki picked through his plate. 

Bucky had started out being fairly resistant to physical contact from anyone besides Loki or Steve. Then Sam had come along and not really given him a choice, and now Bucky soaked up contact like a sponge. He pressed his thigh to Clint’s and just about sagged against him. They really were a bunch of misfits. Bucky still had bad days, days where he couldn’t seem to think for himself, days where he’d only respond to direct orders, days where he couldn’t even recognize his own name. Loki was the only one of them who didn’t have a problem with ordering him around or giving him tasks to do, and Bucky seemed to respond to Loki best when he got in that kind of headspace. There’d been a few days where he’d regressed so far back that he and Loki had spent the entire time locked up in his rooms, and when Clint had gone in to check on them, they’d been bordering on trying to kill each other, and then the next time, they’d both been curled up in bed together, watching a video on Loki’s phone, healing scratches all over their faces and arms. Those days weren’t few or far between quite yet, but they were less. They all had bad days, anyway. 

It was funny, Clint thought while he watched Loki try to make sense of whatever a taco was, and Laura easily moved between feeding Nate and herself, and he was nearly cuddling with the Winter Soldier. Across the table, Sam was talking about some training exercise that Steve had them doing the day before at the Avengers Facility. He made sure to keep his hands below his face and his mouth clear for Clint. 

God, he was lucky. He didn’t deserve any of this.

Loki’s hand slid down his thigh and squeezed his knee. Clint dropped his gaze to Sam’s phone and clutched Loki’s hand like it was a lifeline.

It was, really, when it came down to it. He didn’t know what he’d do without Loki now, and going by the way Loki was grasping him back, Loki felt the same.

He smiled down the table at his wife and leaned his cheek against Loki’s shoulder.

* * *

A few days later, Loki and Sam went through the portal in Loki’s rooms that led back to the Avengers Facility. Loki had originally planned for it to be in Steve’s quarters, but ever since their...break-up, Loki had decided it would lead to the hallway outside Steve’s rooms instead. It opened up at the dead end right outside Steve’s room, which meant that whenever Loki went through it, he had to walk past Steve’s door and not knock on it. It was pain that he put himself through and he felt he deserved. Apparently Wanda had put some kind of alert on the door, given that whenever Loki stepped through the portal, Steve opened his door if he was home and tried to talk to him. 

This time, Loki was able to leave Sam behind when Steve tried to stop him while he glided down the hall and down the stairs to the main part of the Facility, where Wanda and Natasha were waiting for him. Loki inclined his head to them and glanced around the room they found themselves in. It was a large hangar, with a shooting range at the far end, with targets all over the wall. There were the usual SHIELD agents lining the walls. 

“What are we doing today, Agent Romanoff?” Loki queried, lips twisting as she threw him a dirty look. 

“Target practice,” she informed the two of them, and pointed towards the far wall. “Loki, how many targets can you hit in 30 seconds?”

Loki peered at the wall. “How many targets are there?”

“Fifty.”

“Fifty, then.” He didn’t wait for a cue and merely stood up a bit straighter and brought one hand up in front of him to gather seidr. Once it was a boiling, rictus mass around his fist, he opened his fingers and pushed his arm toward the targets. Fifty green darts burst from his hand and punctured each and every target on the far wall. 

One of the SHIELD agents whistled. 

Loki turned his head to look at Natasha and smirked as she tried to keep an impressed look off her face. He dropped his hand back to his side as Natasha turned to Wanda. 

“Thirty seconds, fifty targets,” Natasha informed her, and she grabbed Loki’s sleeve and pulled him back as Wanda shoved her hands towards the ground, red seidr spilling from her grasp as she lifted into the air. 

Loki tugged his sleeve out of Natasha’s grasp and crossed his arms over his chest as he watched Wanda soar forward, red flames roaring out of her hands and condensing into dragon mouths, dozens of them, spitting daggers of fire at the various targets. It took her far longer than thirty seconds to focus everything and hit every target, but Natasha didn’t seem to notice. 

Loki waited until Wanda was done and jumped up into the air, striding through it over to the witch, who was panting and shaking and on the verge of falling. Loki made a seidr platform beneath her and crossed his legs under himself, watching as she gratefully sat down and looked at him, eyes bright. 

“Impressive,” he finally said, his voice quiet. “And completely unnecessary. Who here are you attempting to impress by such a display? Me? The Widow? An agent, perhaps? The Vision?” Oh, that got her fingers twitching. “A robot cannot be swayed by your overdramatic theatrics. Let me tell you something, witch. I have fought more battles, won more wars than you have lived days in your life. You must conserve your energy.” He sneered at her. “You blasted 50 measly targets and you are exhausted. Pitiful.” He opened a pocket dimension and pulled out a vial of green potion. “Clint can take three drops of this, so I’ll give you one. This is called heill, it is a healing and restorative potion. Now open.”

Wanda looked to argue with him for a moment but finally relented, opening her mouth so Loki could pour in a single drop of the potion. Once he was done, he sent the vial back to the ether, and watched her carefully for any signs of reaction to the potion. Her eyes brightened immediately and she stood up, shaking out her hands. 

“Very powerful!” she exclaimed, looking down at the seidr bubbling from her fingertips. “What does two drops do? Three, even?”

Loki curled his lips. “Faster healing, for one. That’s Clint’s primary focus.” He pointed at the targets on the wall in front of them. “Now, you have thirty seconds. No showing off. You are here at the Facility because you are an Avenger, so there is no need to prove yourself to anyone. If you take longer than thirty seconds, I will stop you myself.” He paused for dramatic effect. “Begin.”

Red seidr curled up through her fingers like smoke, and took shape into small darts. Wanda reared back like a snake, her seidr following suit, and then she threw her arms forward, seidr darts burrowing into the various targets. She didn’t hit them all, but she hit most. 

Loki nodded and removed the seidr barriers out from underneath both of them, floating them both to the floor, where Natasha, Steve, and Sam were waiting. 

“That’s a lot better,” Steve remarked, and Wanda nodded gratefully. He looked at Loki. “How’d you fare?”

Loki merely raised an eyebrow and brought up one green-covered hand, and with a flick of his fingers, green daggers were embedded in each of the targets behind him. 

Steve nodded approvingly. “Next we're going to work on lifting other people with your powers. Wanda, come with me. Sam, you and Natasha with Loki. Meet back here in twenty.” He glanced over Loki with concerned eyes, but Loki pointedly looked away from him. Steve sighed and escorted Wanda away.

Sam turned to Loki, a bit of disapproval in his gaze, but he didn’t say anything. Loki pursed his lips and looked between them. “What will you have me do?” he questioned, clasping his hands behind his back. Sam waved over an agent, who brought him his Falcon jetpack. He was already wearing the required armor and suit underneath it, and Natasha helped him put it on.

Sam took in a deep breath and then looked sternly at Loki. “There’s no fuel in this. You’re going to power me solely with your magic. Natasha is going to give me a route between obstacles, and I’m going to relay them to you.” Loki inclined his head. “Alright, you ready?” He turned his attention to Natasha, who nodded. Sam made his way to lead them out of the hangar, but he stopped and grabbed Loki’s arm. “Dude, no tricks, alright? Just point A to point B.”

Loki delicately pulled his arm out of Sam’s grasp and nodded slightly. “Of course, Falcon. I have no desire to harm you.”

“That’s not reassuring,” Natasha muttered, but herded them outside to the obstacle course nonetheless. The various SHIELD agents and scientists followed.

The obstacle course was built for airborne agents, with various hoops and walls and ledges and pits and ropes. It was on a field even bigger than the soccer field, perhaps three times as wide and four or five times as long. Loki found himself actually interested by it. He nodded and turned back to look at Sam and Natasha. “Asgard has something similar for the Einherjar. We call it _freista_, or great trial. It is timed and we have one competition every ten years where the best of the best compete for the _gjof_, and there is a great celebration in honor of the winner, of course. Thor won every competition for almost a century.” Loki smiled slightly. “I look forward to this.”

“Well, hope someone else understood the half of all that I didn’t get,” Sam said, and he waved Loki closer. “Alright, wizard, lift me up.”

Loki raised an eyebrow. “If you are going to insult me, I’m going to leave.”

“Just do it, Loki,” Natasha ordered, her voice tired. She really did thoroughly dislike him. She and Sam double checked their comms and then they both nodded at Loki, who glanced over the modified jetpack on Sam’s back. It seemed easy enough to power with seidr, with thrusters on the back, and the wings were folded away. They were made of some manner of very strong metal. Loki reached out a tendril of seidr and slid it through the jetpack. Loki knew little about Midgardian vehicles and their manner of propulsion, but this one was actually interesting. Clint had shown him how their tractor worked when Loki had had a fanciful day of considering helping out, and it had been so terribly _boring_, unlike this peculiar mechanism.

“What powers this?” Loki asked. “It would be easiest to replicate the power source. How is it steered?”

“Reactor core, similar to Stark’s suits,” Sam replied. “It’s between the four thrusters. Steered with body weight and controls on the wings. It’s fairly intuitive. You gonna keep procrastinating or are you gonna send me up?”

Well then. 

Loki was happy to respond to a challenge when issued. He set a wave of seidr fire into the thrusters and extended Sam’s wings and he flew off into the sky. He surrounded Sam’s entire body with a thin wrap of seidr, using it to steer and control him. Natasha held in a gasp as Loki controlled Sam’s speed and direction, quickly getting the hang of it. It actually felt a bit similar to controlling Clint’s body. Interesting. He sent Sam into a forward roll and the man yelled, but Loki was sure it was in excitement and not fear. 

“What are my orders, Widow?” he asked.

Again, she had a look of reluctant admiration on her face as she watched Loki manipulate Sam through the air. Then her face hardened and she glared at him. “Of course _you’d_ be good at this,” Natasha growled, and she turned away from him to talk quietly into her comm unit. 

Loki overheard most of it, but he distracted himself with weaving Sam through a long set of vertical poles, each about thirty feet tall, and twenty or so feet apart. He clipped one of Sam’s wings on the first pole and quickly corrected course, with Sam yelling faintly for him to stop all the while. He finally complied and rested Sam on the top of one of the poles, resulting in two middle fingers from the man. 

Natasha banded Loki a communication unit for his ear, which he obediently turned on and fit in. “Objective, Falcon?” he said sweetly. 

“You’re a fucking asshole,” Sam panted through the comms, and Loki saw Natasha’s mouth turn up in a faint smile. “How do you have that kind of control?”

Loki shrugged one shoulder. “I believe you like to forget how old I am,” he replied, and his seidr lifted Sam off the pole and flew him slowly back towards him and Natasha. “Flying another person is child’s play. By that I mean I literally did this as a child.”

“To who?” Natasha asked, moving out of the way as Loki landed Sam next to her. “Servants?”

Loki shrugged one shoulder and released his control over the jetpack and Sam’s wings. “Oftentimes, yes. Or my tutors, or Thor, or even my father once.” He looked back at Sam. “Is the experiment off, then?”

Sam shook his head and sighed, sliding his goggles up his forehead. “Yeah, I don’t need to experience that again. I’m saying you’re good.” He touched a button on his comms and said, “Cap, we’re done here. ETA?”

Steve’s voice crackled through the comms. “Still practicing. Sam, Natasha, you’re dismissed. Loki, come give us a hand.”

“Very well,” Loki replied, even though he truly did not wish to. Natasha just shook her head at him and Sam had a worried look on his face before he clearly thought better of himself and walked away with her. Loki closed his eyes and spread out his seidr. 

Control was becoming more difficult as the days passed. He knew he was being more than reckless with his behavior, but he couldn’t seem to _stop_. He couldn’t make himself go to his knees in front of Steve and know that the man belonged to someone else. He’d thought about pushing Steve away but hadn’t actually planned for it. He hadn’t actually thought it would happen. More fool him. 

At least he had Clint. He hadn’t been reduced to going to his knees in front of his own hirdman, but the day was coming. He could feel it. 

He was running a risk with the devil by turning away from Steve. But he could not be second choice. He refused. 

At least Thor was dead. Now that he was gone, Loki could let death take him, in whatever form it came for him. He knew there was only one exit on the road he was on. But that would be better than tying himself to someone who would come to resent him for not being Bucky Barnes. 

The worst part about it was that Loki _liked_ Bucky. He honestly enjoyed the man’s company. He was funny and serious and solemn and so very, very injured. Loki related to him in a way that he had previously thought impossible to relate to a human. So he could see how Bucky was better than him. But it wasn’t _fair_, and Loki sometimes wanted to weep for how not fair it all was. Hadn’t he suffered enough? Hadn’t he earned one bright spot in a life of shadow?

His seidr found Steve immediately, latched onto him like a dying fish. He sighed to himself. Steve taught him how to care for himself and Loki was paying the price for it. 

He stepped through the worlds and landed at his Captain’s side. Steve didn’t flinch, merely glanced over him and then motioned to Wanda, who had a pained look on her face. 

“I keep dropping him,” she admitted shamefully. 

“Show me,” Loki demanded, stepping back so he wasn’t so close to his temptation. His knees quivered. He forced himself to focus, to watch her movements, to see how Steve tried not to fight it, to see how she used extra energy to combat his unconscious movements instead of use them to her advantage. He shook his head. Steve was only a few feet off the ground and she was sweating already. “Oh, stop, would you? You’re embarrassing yourself, witch. Put him down. Watch.”

Steve’s boots touched the ground for a moment before green seidr swirled around him and slid up and over his legs, swirled around his torso and down his arms, covered his head. Steve didn’t fight as Loki’s seidr ensconced him, and he even seemed to relax into it. It was effortless to raise him in the air. 

“You don’t move your hands,” Wanda noted. “Why is that?”

“Your movements betray your actions to your enemies.” His seidr was all intent and hand flicking and hand waving; it had taken him centuries to boil very difficult abilities and spells down to such small, casual movements. But none of his spells and cants were telegraphed like Wanda’s. He brought his hands up and curled his fingers like how she did, and Steve immediately bobbled in the air, lowering a few feet. Loki moved his arms to turn Steve around and Wanda made a sound behind him. “You see?”

She nodded and Loki lowered his hands back to his sides. He brought Steve back down and once he was back on the grass, Loki released his seidr and turned to the witch. “Try again.”

At Steve’s nod, she acquiesced. Wanda was still too amateur to not telegraph her intentions to everyone in a five-mile radius, but she was getting better. Steve still fought her seidr a bit, which was interesting and not something Loki wished to dwell on, so Loki offered up, “Use his body movements to your advantage. You use twice as much energy correcting for what he’s doing. Instead use his momentum to push in what direction you wish him to go.” Wanda furrowed her brow and tried to do as he asked, but she was too used to fighting. Any step in the right direction was a good start, though, and Loki nodded approvingly at her.

Wanda slowly lowered Steve back to the ground, and after they talked over what she was getting better at and how she could still improve, Steve excused her. They both watched Wanda walk away and then Steve turned to Loki.

“You doin’ alright?” Steve asked, his voice gentle.

Loki inclined his head, clasped his shaking hands behind his back to hide them. He wanted to say, _I miss you. I am sorry I am not him. Tell me what to do and I will do whatever it takes to be yours again. I can wear his face for you._ But his mouth refused to open and he glanced at Steve and that lovely and kind face and then he trained his gaze on the ground. Steve finally sighed and shook his head.

“We have a mission tomorrow in Lagos. Going after Rumlow. You in?”

His lips managed to part enough for him to rasp, “Unfortunately, I have other duties.” Steve just nodded and started to walk back to the Facility, Loki obediently keeping step behind him. They met up with Sam and Wanda and Natasha in the second hangar, the three of them leaning on a long workbench, Sam tinkering with something in his jetpack while Natasha and Wanda shared a glass of something alcoholic. Natasha gave them a searching look but didn’t see whatever she was looking for and her face twisted for a brief moment. 

Loki managed to control his hands for long enough to open a pocket dimension and pull out a small satchel. It was filled with his various collection of expensive stones, and he picked through it until he found a sapphire that was the same shade of Steve’s eyes. It was a quick, somewhat easy spell, and he interrupted their conversation of their mission tomorrow to hold out the stone in the palm of his hand. “If you have need of my abilities in your quest tomorrow, take hold of this stone and say my name. It will alert me and I will travel to your location.”

After a moment of deliberation where Loki’s heart tried to flutter out of his chest, he handed the sapphire to Sam. He gathered his satchel and smoothed down his tunic and turned on his heel.

“Loki, wait!” Steve called, but Loki was already gone.

* * *

* * *

Loki decided to take Clint out the next day to distract himself from the mission the new Avengers were going on. Clint shrugged and grabbed his gear and did as he was told. Bucky was invited along, but he was having a rough day, so he curled up in Loki’s bed and read a book. The kids were in school and Laura spent the day with some of her friends. 

Clint watched Loki as they walked out to his shooting range in the woods. He wasn’t doing too hot, not like Loki would admit that. He’d been taking his frustration out on Clint, which Clint didn’t _mind_, per se, but it sucked to see Loki doing so poorly. But whatever. Not like Clint was allowed to do anything about it other than take whatever pain Loki felt like dishing out. He’d been placed under some pretty specific orders not to bring up Steve and Loki’s relationship, or lack thereof. But whatever. That was life.

Loki glanced back at him to make sure he was keeping up with his severe pace, and a bit of a smile turned up his lips when he saw that Clint was nearly jogging to keep pace. God, he was lucky. However this had ended up being his life, he was lucky. Loki understood Clint’s identity with his bow, that he was inexorably tied to it, that he _was_ the weapon. 

He jogged forward and caught Loki’s hand in his own, briefly tightening his fingers around the god’s before letting go. Loki sent him a soft look and reached back to slide his hand over the back of Clint’s neck, his thumb brushing against his ear. He’d left his hearing aids back at the house on Loki’s request, so he was more at Loki’s whims than usual. 

They were at the edge of the woods, and Loki followed Clint to the target site. It was strange to step through leaves and over sticks without hearing the sounds of it all. Clint handed over his Aesir bow and Loki checked it over, smoothing his fingers over the waxed string. _You take better care of your weapons than you do of yourself,_ Loki noted, handing the bow back and taking the long bow.

Clint thought about that while he took back the long bow and gave Loki his recurve, then they traded arrows. Finally, he rubbed the back of his neck and muttered, _Feels like the bow is useful. I’m only useful when I’m firing it. So I make sure I can do that and don’t see a use for more._

Loki hummed and tapped a few of the arrows, green seidr spilling over it before fading into the shaft. He nodded approvingly and motioned impatiently for Clint to gather everything back up and put up the targets he was going to use. Loki added a bit of seidr to a couple of the targets but didn’t say anything until they were both on their way to the 50 yard target. While they walked, Clint slid on his glove and his arm guard, making sure they were secure while Loki angsted to himself. 

_I seem to recall telling you to take better care of yourself._

_I am! I eat better, try to get hurt less, jump off less buildings, the whole works._

_You retiring and not being on missions isn’t actively taking care of yourself._ Loki tapped his finger against his chin as Clint scrambled up the tree, Loki floating up next to him. _I’ll find a suitable punishment for you later, something you won’t enjoy. Now, which bow is the most tiring?_

Clint glanced over the three he’d brought. _Longbow, probably, but it’s not really suitable for this distance._

_Start with that one._

Clint nodded and stepped into the bow to string it, Loki floating the Aesir and recurve bows out of reach as he watched Clint. Clint strung the bow and stretched out his shoulders and arms and back, and then pulled out a few arrows to nock them.

_Whenever you’re ready, boss._

Loki made him wait for a minute before nodding and motioning him to begin.

Draw.

Breathe in.

Breathe out.

Loose the arrow.

_Pitiful._

Clint peered through the trees at the target. _You didn’t tell me where to hit, so I just hit a bullseye._ He nocked another arrow and turned to look at Loki, who looked more irritable than normal. _Right in the center._

_There are three rings on the target. Twelve on the outer ring, six on the inner ring, three on the bullseye. Shoot at will._

Loki examined his nails while Clint readied more arrows and flexed his shoulders. There was nothing more natural in life than shooting a bow, nothing that felt more _him_. It felt better than holding his kids, holding his wife, than eating, even. He’d take one of those arms like Bucky had so he never got tired so he could never stop. It was more _him_ than anything else he did.

He’d just been a kid when he’d picked up his first bow. Always been good with his hands, always hit his target. It wasn’t anything much, just something he was good at. But in the circus, he’d been able to take his only skill and make something of himself for the first damn time in his life.

Twelve arrows in, he picked up the first arrow Loki had touched with seidr. It felt strange as he nocked it, something different in the weight and the tip. But he didn’t know what it was spelled to do until he fired it, so he glanced at Loki and when the god gave him no visible reaction, he pulled back the draw and felt the weight of the bow and the strangeness of the arrow, and he loosed it. It flew strangely. He lowered his bow to watch it hit the exact spot he’d aimed, but two targets to the right.

_They all spelled like that?_

Loki hummed. _Shoot them to find out._

He nodded, nocked another arrow and drew it back just enough to flex the bow. _You gonna punish me for missing that?_

_Shoot them to find out,_ Loki repeated, because he was an asshole. It put just enough tension in Clint’s shoulders that it was hard to finish the draw, but he’d worked under a lot more stressful conditions. This time, the arrow flew true, hit the right target in the right spot. 

_Twenty-one arrows per target. I can tell you’re trying to make up for your mistake._

He nodded even though a bit of irritation swelled up in his gut. Loki shot him an amused look and his gaze weighed heavy on Clint’s shoulders as he finished shooting. He put down the longbow and turned to Loki, who merely handed him his Aesir bow and waved for him to continue. 

There were more seidr arrows in this round, and all four of them felt and flew wrong. One of them hit the tree the target was attached to, one flew completely off to the right by almost three feet, one went left by half an inch, and the last literally just fell to the ground at the bottom of the tree stand. He could feel more and more of Loki’s amusement seep through him as he got more and more frustrated with the arrows not obeying him. He was trying _not to_, but he couldn’t help it. This was the only thing he was good at, and the arrows not doing what he wanted just really sucked a lot. 

But he took the Aesir bow and sighed when he felt the seidr seeping off it. All twenty-one arrows flew wrong, and Clint’s mood got progressively worse and worse as none of them did what he wanted. He knew that was what Loki wanted, to make him realize he couldn’t control everything, that he had to step back and reassess. Or whatever crap he was using to justify tearing Clint to pieces later. 

He handed over the Aesir bow once he was done and wiped his sweaty palms on his shirt, keeping his chin ducked and his eyes down as Loki tapped his chin and decided what to do with him. Archery was the only thing he was good at and Loki had even taken that from him.

_Do you want a second chance?_ Loki finally asked, tapping his fingers along the length of the Aesir bow. Clint couldn’t stop himself from nodding.

_You gonna enchant everything again?_

Loki tipped his head and released the spells from the Aesir bow and the arrows he had left. Clint frowned at the cloud of green seidr that lifted up and surrounded his hands, and then slid up and covered his eyes.

His hands had been tingling and half-numb for months, ever since Thor had tried to kill him. But now all feeling went out of them. But as he was noticing that and trying to figure out how he’d shoot with hands that weren’t his own, his vision slowly went dark.

He screamed, even though he couldn’t hear it, clapping his numb hands to his face.

Clint clawed at his eyes before Loki pulled them away, and the seidr lifted from his eyes just a moment later. He swung his arm back to punch Loki across the face, maybe break that aristocratic nose, but Loki caught his fist and crushed his fingers, releasing the spell from his fingers so he could focus on the pain instead. It calmed him down, slowed his heart, the same way it always did.

_It can always get worse,_ Loki told him. Clint glared at him. Like he didn’t fucking know that. Loki released his hands and floated backwards, green eyes intent on his face. _It will always be worse._ Loki turned away from him and Clint could feel that he was frowning even though he couldn’t see the god’s face. He shook out his hands and sighed, rubbing at his ringing ears. 

_You want me to do it again or what?_

Loki nodded without looking at him. _Use the recurve._

The recurve floated back over to him and Clint grabbed it out of the air. He waited for Loki to twist back to tell him when to begin shooting, which took a few minutes of Loki angsting over how unfair his life was, even though he’d made it that way and could change all of it with one kind of difficult conversation with Steve. But whatever, Clint was barely even allowed to think about that, let alone talk about it. 

Loki nodded to him and Clint began firing, sliding into the routine and the pull of tired muscles, the feel of the string against his fingers, the weight of the draw, the tension that seeped out of his gut when the arrows flew true and hit the target.

When he was done, he gathered up his bows and his quiver and his arrows and turned to look at Loki, who was regarding him with a severe look on his face. Clint just sighed internally. Loki floated him out of the tree stand and they walked with quiet between them to the targets. Loki was struggling with something. Hopefully it was something to do with not being such a huge asshole to Steve, but Clint wasn’t going to hold out hope on that one. 

They stopped in front of the targets and Clint sighed. He’d gotten most of the shots with the longbow, with a couple of them being a quarter to half an inch off, which he grimaced at. Jesus, retirement had not done him well. He did alright with the first go-around with the recurve, but the spelled arrows had really messed him up. He didn’t even want to look at the Aesir bow target, but he forced himself to. 

God, he sucked.

Loki floated up again, crossing his legs underneath himself. He rested his chin on his palm while he regarded Clint, who winced and turned away from the targets. _You believe yourself to be at fault, even though I spelled the arrows_. Loki actually sounded a bit surprised, like he didn’t know Clint at all. _It was unwinnable._

_Maybe I could’ve figured out how you spelled them,_ Clint argued back, but he could feel the weakness in his mental voice. _Maybe I could’ve been able to tell by studying the spells better or reading or mind better or even just guessing. But I just…_ He trailed off and shook his head. Loki waved his hand and all the arrows removed themselves from the targets, floating back through the air to Clint’s quiver. _I didn’t do it right. The only thing I’m good for, and I can’t even do that._

_Because of what I did,_ Loki finished, narrowing his eyes at Clint. _You were only unsuccessful because I changed something._

Clint threw his hands up in frustration. _What are you trying to say?!_

Loki just looked at him. _Go twenty yards down. Empty your quiver at the target I conjure. Perhaps you will learn._

_It’s a shitty lesson!_ Clint yelled at him, but he handed Loki his Aesir bow and the longbow before stomping down twenty yards and waving his hands impatiently when Loki didn’t give him permission to begin shooting immediately. Loki ignored him and raised up a green target and floated out of the line of fire.

_Fire at will._

The target didn’t move for the first few shots. His arrows hit the center perfectly, stayed upright in the seidr for a moment, and then fell to the ground. The target began slowly moving, but it was easy to keep up with. The better he shot, the more the target moved, and the harder the shots became. 

This was fun. This was the kind of training he liked, where he had to put every single cell of his brain to use, where endorphins and adrenaline rushed his body with every shot he took. He was fucking _good_ at this. He could feel Loki’s pride in him swell with every increasingly difficult shot he made.

At long last, his fingers brushed over an empty quiver and his brain stuttered to a halt. Loki waved him back and he knelt down to pick up his bows, Loki’s boots landing on the ground next to him. Loki waited until his quiver was full and Clint pushed back up to his feet to look up at the god. _Do you understand now?_

_Kind of._ Loki handed him back his bows and Clint slung them across his back as they left the forest. _I’m good at what I do. Need to practice more. But if I’m bad at it, it’s because of outside forces._

Loki hummed in his mind. _Is that it?_

Clint wracked his brain. Most of Loki’s ‘lessons’ were more straight up sadism, or literally just psychopathic nonsense that he had to pull out some minor percentage of meaning from. Loki had intended to teach him something by taking away the only thing he was good at, which meant it wasn’t really about archery. About relying on him, maybe? He’d taught Wanda a lesson by making a seidr cube the size of a house and filling it with water until she managed to rescue herself. Thor used to teach Loki lessons by nearly killing him, so it wasn’t any wonder Loki was as crazy as he was.

Oh.

_You want me to rely on you. That’s why you had me leave my aids._ Loki shot him a surprised, small smile. _You made me feel like shit, then you made me feel better, by doing basically the same thing._

_You don’t exist without me._

God, Loki was fucking nuts. Absolutely bananas. Beyond bananas. He was some other kind of fruit. Crazy as blueberries or something. Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck.

_You know I chose you, right? You know I don’t need to be convinced or whatever to stay with you. Whatever weird soulbond shit you’re trying right now, I’ll put up with it, since I can’t do anything else, but I’m gonna be unhappy._

Loki froze. _Soulbond?_ he repeated, like he didn’t know what he was doing.

Clint rolled his eyes. _Do you forget I can literally read your mind? You think I can’t tell? Look, you think you can restart the soulbonding process or whatever. We both know you can’t. You’re welcome to try. I don’t know how many times I have to tell you I’m not going anywhere for you to believe it._

Loki turned and regarded him fully. _No, you’re not, are you,_ he mused to himself, and then held out his right hand.

Mjolnir careened through the air, surprising Clint, who was unable to hear it coming. The hammer slammed into Loki’s hand. He held it at arm’s reach, looking at the hammer with a blank face. They were both still disgusted by it. 

_How many of my windows did you break to summon that thing?_

Loki rolled his eyes. _I’ll repair it. Now, I have a question for you._ Clint nodded. _Odin’s spell upon Mjolnir made it so that only the worthy could wield it. I have never been worthy. That spell transferred to Thor upon Odin’s death. Now that I killed Thor with my own two hands, did the spell transfer to me?_

Clint shrugged. _How the hell would I know?_

Loki reached forward and flicked him on the forehead. Yeah, reasonable reaction. _I believe it does. Which means anyone that I believe worthy can wield Mjolnir._

_Real weird of you to tell me you don’t consider me worthy._

Loki held out Mjolnir to him.

Clint didn’t take it.

_Oh, just try._

_How many times did Thor do this exact same thing to you? I’m not falling for it._

Loki continued to hold the hammer out to him. 

Clint continued not to take it. 

Finally, he sighed and took it.

The hammer was the heaviest thing he’d ever tried to hold and he immediately collapsed to the ground. It felt like trying to lift an entire world with his hand. “You asshole,” he yelled, or tried to yell. Still couldn’t fucking hear anything. He released the shaft and stood up, glaring at Loki, who actually did look a bit surprised. _You can’t believe you really thought that would work. You’re so hung up on—_ His voice shorted out and his mind fizzled to a stop. Jesus, he couldn’t even say Cap’s name to Loki now? He tried again, _You only think_ he’s _worthy. No one else._

He turned away and started walking back to the house.

_You’re only worthy because you killed him,_ Clint called back, turning around to walk backwards while Loki slowly picked up Mjolnir and walked through the air after him. Loki tossed Mjolnir up in the air a few times, always catching it. He turned back to the house and the two of them walked back in silence.

Damn near half the windows were broken. Bucky was already out front, sweeping up glass. He raised a hand to greet them and Loki waved a hand, repairing the windows. He floated down in front of Bucky and gave him a curious glance. Clint tried to stop him the second the idea crossed Loki’s mind, but he wasn’t quite quick enough. 

“Don’t!” he yelled, but Bucky was already reaching for Mjolnir.

It was just a shitty thing to do. Bucky fell to his knees, hammer in his flesh hand. He wrapped his metal hand around the shaft and it still didn’t move, and some tension that he hadn’t even realized was in Clint’s chest eased. It wasn’t just him that Loki didn’t hold up to Steve’s standard, it was everyone. If Loki’s theory was true, anyway.

Bucky said something while he pushed to his feet, but Clint couldn’t read his lips. He shook his head and went into the barn, unstringing his bows and checking his arrows for damage and putting everything away. He pulled off his shooting glove and his arm guard and pulled out a couple ace bandages to wrap his wrists. He turned around and Loki was in the wide doorway of the barn, arms crossed over his chest, eyes fixed on Clint. Mjolnir was nowhere to be seen, which was good. Clint probably hated the damn hammer as much as Loki did.

_You want something?_

Loki shrugged one shoulder, elegant as always. _Massage?_

_Figured you still had to punish me for missing targets. But yeah, I’ll always take a massage._ Clint copied Loki’s shrug.

_How do you wish to be punished?_ Loki asked, moving out of his way as Clint closed the barn doors, the two of them walking abreast to the house. Clint thought about it. He really was partial to that pain potion, but it was good to try something new.

_Hey, remember that paralysis potion?_

Loki opened the front door of his house for him, regarding him with a faintly amused look. _You wish to be paralyzed? I thought you were thoroughly opposed to not being in control._

_Look who’s talking,_ he pointed out with a grin, stripping off his shirt as they entered Loki’s rooms. Bucky was back in Loki’s bed, and he looked up from his book to raise his eyebrows at them, and then his attention went back to the pages. Loki pointed him to the bathroom and then paused, regarding Bucky with a curious gaze. _Nope! You’re not involving him. Not making him watch, not making him hurt me, nada. Poor bastard’s been through enough. Using my veto._

_You only get a veto when it regards battle._

_Nope, I get a veto whenever you come up with some dumb shit, which is all the time. So I’m vetoing you involving Buck with this at all. Do whatever you want to me and leave him out of it._

Loki pointed him to the bathtub and Clint finished stripping, sliding into the tub and groaning when cold water began pouring out of the tap. Didn’t even get a hot bath. Asshole.

_Have you ever drowned?_

Oh, Christ.

Loki wasn’t looking at him, which was good. He was digging through his bag of potions. Clint blanched at the question and thought about nixing the whole process. He’d done better than he’d done worse, so he could probably argue his way out of punishment or Loki’s sadism or his own masochism or whatever. 

Well, in for a penny and all.

_I’m alive, aren’t I?_

Loki picked up the vial with the familiar grey potion inside of it, vanishing the bag with a bored wave of his hand. He pulled a stool up next to the bath and perched like an imperious asshole on top of it. He held the potion out to Clint, who reluctantly reached up and took it. Had to do it himself. Great. Just great. Real glad he chose this course of action and this whole lifestyle.

_You’re alive despite your seemingly endless attempts to prove otherwise. Now, three drops on the tongue. One at a time. If you spill the potion in the bath water, it will immediately disperse and your heart will surely stop._

Clint popped the cork out and dipped his pointer finger into the neck of the vial, collecting a single drop on the tip. He stuck out his tongue and glanced up at Loki, who nodded encouragingly, which was a wild sight to see. He brushed the potion over his tongue and his entire body went lax. It was going to be a real exciting journey to get to the rest of the potion.

His hand didn’t want to move, but Clint forced it, pouring the smallest amount of the thick grey potion into his palm. It might’ve been more than two drops, but hopefully not by much. He could feel Loki’s interest spike as he leaned his head forward and lapped the potion up from his palm like a dog.

Long fingers took the vial and cork out of his hands as his entire body went completely limp. Like the time before, something pressed down on his chest and he slid under the freezing water, feeling the liquid seep into his mouth and down his throat and into his lungs. He couldn’t even resist.

It felt fucking fantastic, actually.

He could feel hot tears welling up in his eyes, immediately cooled by the frigid water. He couldn’t even move a finger to help himself. He could see Loki, blurred by the water, looking down at him like he was a particularly boring science experiment. He could feel his mind begin to panic after about thirty seconds, but he couldn’t even close his mouth to stop the water from filling his lungs. He tried to keep track of the time but his mind flushed with panic, trying to jumpstart his body to push him out of the water, to try and save himself in any way, but he was completely immobilized. The weight stayed on his chest and he wanted so desperately to get it off, wanted to scream, wanted to thrash, wanted to fight death away for as long as he could, but in the end, he was helpless. He was going to die—

Long fingers breached the water and brushed his forehead, burning the potion out of him. Before he could thrash his way to the surface of the tub, green seidr slid down his throat and two strong hands held him to the bottom of the tub.

_Help me—_

Seidr replaced the water in his lungs, smoothly siphoning it out. He was pulled out of the water, trying to gasp around the seidr in his mouth, but he couldn’t even bring in any air, and the panic truly set in. He was going to _die_ if he couldn’t get a breath. He wasn’t going to make it, he was never going to see his kids again, he just wanted—

He watched in panic as seidr slid out of his mouth like a long curling snake, and air flooded his lungs. He took in a few heaving breaths and then looked up to see Loki smile at him, and he was pushed under the water again.

Clint fought, because he’d spent his entire life fighting. He’d fought his shitty dad, his brother, every damn teacher who thought he was dumb, all the other carnies, damn near half the agents at SHIELD, even Coulson and Fury. He argued with his wife because he didn’t know how to live in peace, because he’d never been at peace. He fought with his friends, his coworkers, his superiors. Never saw a battle he couldn’t fight. Winning didn’t matter as much as the fight. He knew how to fight, which meant he knew how to win. 

Loki pinned him to the bottom of the tub with one hand against his chest. He was impossibly fucking strong. It felt like being pinned by a truck. Clint tried to fight, but Loki stayed stoic above the water, and eventually, Clint couldn’t stop his mouth from opening and his lungs trying to take a breath, and he couldn’t stop the water from filling him up. Loki let him up for just long enough for him to hack up the water, and then he was pushed under again.

His lungs burned. Every muscle ached. His head hurt. He tried to punch, tried to kick, tried to thrash his way out, tried to break the tub with his elbows and his feet and even tried to splash all the water out of the tub. Nothing worked. Loki kept him pinned until his lungs filled and his gaze began to darken, and then he pulled him out and let him catch his breath and cough up a lungful of water and then shoved him back down.

Finally, he stopped fighting, which was what Loki wanted all along. He didn’t know how many sessions it’d been. Maybe two, maybe twenty. His head was swimming, his stomach hurt, his lungs ached. He just wanted a breath of fucking air. 

Loki pushed him back under and he opened his mouth for the water to rush in.

Loki pulled him back up and smiled at him, releasing Clint from his grasp.

_Make the water hot, you ginormous dick._

His head was swimming. He leaned back against the tub and closed his eyes, coughing up a bit of water every few seconds. Loki pinched at his lips until he opened his mouth, and another potion was placed upon his tongue. He recognized this one at the heill, and he didn’t stop the relieved smile from crossing his face.

_Feel better?_ he asked Loki as the water began to heat up. _I feel like shit, so you probably feel 100%._

_How did it feel?_ Loki asked in lieu of an answer. _I have never been drowned before._

_It felt like drowning, you asshole._ He thought about it, brought up a handful of water and swished it around in his mouth. He peeked open an eye and spit the water into Loki’s face. Loki didn’t bat an eye. _Lungs hurt. Just wanted a breath of air. Knew I wasn’t gonna die but it felt like I was on death’s damn doorstep. Kind of lightheaded still. I kept trying to kick or get to the surface somehow. Just panic._ Clint searched his mind for an allegory. _Oh! Okay, you know how it felt when Thor would put Mjolnir on your chest and you could only get half a breath?_ Loki’s hands paused where they were getting ready to rub shampoo into Clint’s hair. _Like that, except it was more like when he’d really push Mjolnir down and you could only get a little wisp of air, just enough to keep you from passing out._

Loki nodded and rubbed the shampoo into Clint’s hair. He sudsed it up and then waved for Clint to put his own head under the water, in his one considerate move for the year. Clint rolled his eyes but did as told. Next was conditioner, and then Loki poured in a potion that got him clean. The two of them watched the water drain out of the tub and Clint yawned, leaning against the side of the tub closest to Loki, closing his eyes. Long fingers traced the planes of his face, down his neck, over his shoulders, down his chest. 

Loki floated him out of the tub, swaddled him in towels, and then floated him back into the bedroom, gently laying him on the lounge. Bucky probably said something, but Clint was pretty grateful for his deafness that he couldn’t hear him. Probably missed out on some good banter, though. He kept his eyes shut as Loki’s hands smoothed out over his back, aided by warming oil. 

It was easy to let Loki take care of him, easy to fall into it, easy to let the warmth and the comfort and the relaxation ease him into sleep. 

Before he let himself tip over the edge, Clint reached out and tugged at Loki’s consciousness. Loki hummed at him and Clint told him, _Let’s wait a bit before we do that one again. You can drown me again, but give me awhile. Need my lungs for shit other than yelling at you._

He was asleep before he heard Loki’s response.

* * *

Bucky was being awkward. 

Well, more awkward than usual. He was a pretty strange guy, but they all were. 

He kept giving Clint looks. Looks that probably meant something, or were asking something, if they came from a regular person and not an ex-brainwashed assassin whose body language awareness was about a one out of 100. Maybe 200. 150 on a nice day. 

So Clint ignored him, because, well, whatever. He’d been drowned the day before and he’d liked it. So whatever Bucky was up to, it didn’t really matter. Loki was fretting, anyway, because that’s what he did and that was what Clint had to deal with. They’d all seen the news from the Avengers mission in Lagos, so that was fun. 

Coulson had mentioned something about the United Nations. Whatever was happening was gonna happen soon. 

Loki hadn’t been called during the big fight the day before, which was also something else he was fretting about. The imagery from Wanda’s failed containment was awful. King T’Chaka was pissed, and with damn good reason. 

Barnes finally cornered him in the kitchen after they’d all had lunch and Loki had eaten none of his own food but half of Clint’s plate, which was pretty standard behavior for him. 

“Are you and Loki...I thought he and Steve…” Bucky trailed off. Clint turned up the volume on his hearing aids, thinking he was missing words, but no, that was just Bucky, incapable of finishing a single thought. 

“Spit it out, Barnes,” he sighed. 

Metal fingers clamped down on his shoulder. Clint looked between them and Bucky’s stern face. “Are you and Loki sleeping together?” he finally asked, eyebrows drawn together. 

“The three of us slept in the same bed last night,” he replied slowly. “We sleep together about half the time.”

Bucky’s eyebrows furrowed even further. 

Clint got it about a second later. “Jesus—I’m married! To a woman! Who I love! I’m not fucking _Loki!_ Gross, dude.” He shuddered and tried to push Bucky away from him, but he refused to move. “Outta my space, Barnes. Or I’ll make you.”

Bucky dropped his hand from Clint’s shoulder and moved back. “He took you into the bathroom, gave you a bath, then brought you back out and gave you a massage. Then you fell asleep and he _continued_ giving you a massage, and once he was done, he carried you to bed. I’m sure he would’ve kissed you if I hadn’t been watching.”

“What makes you think he cared that you were watching?”

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest. “I’d tell Steve.”

He couldn’t imagine Steve caring that Loki gave him a massage or a bath. He’d probably care about the drowning thing, though. That’d probably be something that he’d care a lot about. “They’re kind of broken up,” Clint pointed out. “Or they’re on hiatus or something. But I’ll assuage your fears, Barnes. I’m not seeing or dating or fucking Loki or whatever. Still married. To a woman. Who I have three kids with. No need for me to get any extra action on the side.” Also—sex with Loki? Gross. No thanks. It’d be like having sex with a teacher or something. Or an uncle. Or just some homeless guy or something. Or a librarian, but like, a super unsexy mean one. 

Bucky frowned at him. “He gave you a _bath_,” he repeated. Clint was deaf, sure, but still a bit rude. 

“I give him baths all the time,” Clint retorted, which made Bucky look a little grossed out and probably wasn’t the good comeback he thought it was. “It’s not a sex thing, Barnes. It’s just. Well. It’s just not a sex thing.” It was kind of everything _other_ than a sex thing, which was probably what was tripping Bucky’s brain up. “Steve knows about the bath thing anyway. He thinks it’s weird, but he also thinks a lot of not-weird things are weird.” Great grasp on the English language there, Barton. 

Bucky actually looked interested at that. “Like what?” he prompted, and Clint thought about it for a second. 

“Cuddling,” he said finally, remembering Steve’s hang-up about being naked in bed with him. He had all of Loki’s memories of being fucked by Steve, anyway, same with his memories of Steve’s dick in his mouth, so cuddling naked with him was pretty much nothing. “TV. Hey, microwaves. One time I told him his coffee had to be warmed up for five minutes and then acted like he did it wrong when he got mad at me.” Bucky’s shoulders softened and he gave Clint a small smile. “Cars, probably. What, you guys got around on horses, right?”

Bucky rolled his eyes and pushed past Clint to start cleaning up the kitchen. 

“I’m surprised you know how to wash dishes,” Clint commented a few minutes later, leaning against the side of the fridge.

“Surprised you can still talk with how many times people must’ve punched you to shut you up,” Bucky grumbled. Rude but fair. 

“Arm hasn’t rusted yet,” Clint noted, and Bucky’s shoulders tensed, his metal arm whirring a bit. “Just figured that’s why you never did dishes.”

“I’m gonna punch you into the sun,” Bucky told him, turning on him, metal fist raised. Clint raised his hands up and darted out of the room before Bucky could make good on his promise. 

Loki was in the living room, so Clint joined him, making himself comfortable in the squeezed-in place between his armchair and the ottoman. Loki’s hand carded through his hair and Clint leaned back against his leg and closed his eyes, just enjoying the day.

* * *

They were eating a late breakfast the next morning when Loki was summoned. He’d taken a bite of yogurt and raspberries when Steve’s voice rang into his ear, clearly saying his name. 

He stood up, Clint copying him, concern clouding his features. Loki shook his head and stepped away from the table. He used seidr to change into Asgardian wear, with heavy black boots and protective black leather up his legs, dark and heavy scalemail over his chest. His arms were covered in dark green leather with reinforced padding over his forearms. He forewent the cape and shared one last look with Clint before stepping through space. 

Loki landed in a conference room in the Avengers Facility. There were ten people present. He stood behind Steve, who had Wanda and Rhodes in front of him. At the head of the table was Banner, who looked frightfully furious, but was managing to keep it under control. He was the biggest threat, but that wasn’t new. Across the table were Sam, the Vision, and Wanda. Loki quickly turned his head to see Stark off to the side in an uncomfortable looking chair, looking decidedly uncomfortable himself. 

At the end of the table, where everyone was looking, was a man. He was rather plain looking, but going by the general aura of the room, he was a threat. Next to him was some manner of assistant or aide. 

“Loki,” the man said, and everyone in the room turned to look at him. Steve was the only one who looked unsurprised to see him. “How kind of you to join us.”

Loki glanced around everyone in the room and stepped back a few steps to rest his forearm on the back of Banner’s chair and leaned on it. It was so uncharacteristic that it drew the man out of whatever rage-pit he was falling into, and Banner turned his head to frown up at Loki for a brief second before going back to glaring at the man at the other end of the table. 

“I am General Thaddeus Ross, Secretary of State,” the man said, introducing himself. He pointed at an unbound book on the conference table, which Wanda picked up to look at. “These are the Sokovia Accords. Approved by 117 countries, it states that the Avengers shall no longer be a private organization. Instead, they will operate under the supervision of a United Nations panel, only when and if that panel deems it necessary.” This United Nation person again. Perhaps he should have brought Clint. 

Loki moved a bit and straightened a bit as Steve spoke up. “The Avengers were formed to make the world a safer place. I feel we’ve done that.”

“Tell me, Captain. What control do you have over Banner? Over Loki?” Ross looked between both of them and Loki raised an eyebrow. “If I didn’t contain a couple of 30-megaton nukes, there’d be consequences.”

Contain? Well then. 

Loki made sure all the exits to the room were sealed. 

Ross paced a bit. Every step, every movement was carefully calculated. He was meant to be at ease, but he wasn’t. “Compromise, reassurance. That’s how the world works.” Loki’s other eyebrow slowly crawled up his forehead to join its brother. “Believe me, this is the middle ground.”

“Middle ground?” Sam asked, shaking his head. "This isn't a middle ground. This is one step away from a GPS tracking system."

“So, there are contingencies?” Rhodes questioned, his voice flat. Loki floated the Accords out from under his hand and caught them in his grasp. He duplicated them, one for each person. Ross narrowed his eyes at him. 

“Three days from now, the U.N. meets in Vienna to ratify the Accords.”

Steve looked at Tony, and then at Loki, and then at Ross. “We’ll talk it over.”

Ross made to leave, but Natasha interrupted him. “And if we come to a decision you don’t like?”

“Then you retire,” Ross said, and tried to open the door.

* * *

* * *

Loki carefully set down the copy of Accords he’d been holding and looked at Ross. “What exactly was your purpose here, General?” he questioned, his voice soft. 

“Are you attempting to hold me hostage?” Ross answered, a bit of anger seeping into his tone. “Do you know the consequences for—”

“I can assure you I do not care,” Loki interrupted. “Now, explain these Accords. Surely you’ve read them? I just sent a copy of them to a friend of mine, who, from what I understand, would be affected by something that he would not even have the consent to sign.” He paused. “Although, from what I understand, consent isn’t a big concern of yours.”

Ross turned away from the door. He told his assistant to call someone, but Loki merely smiled. 

“Loki,” Steve tried, and a few of the others parroted him, but he held up a hand. 

“You don’t know what you’re doing,” Ross warned. “Do you know who you’re talking to?”

“A secretary, by the sounds of it. From what I understand, it’s a menial task.”

“I am fifth in line to the Presidency,” Ross hissed. 

Loki nodded. He looked around the table to see that Rhodes had his head in his hands, Wanda looked like she was about to jump up and start yelling, Sam looked amused, and Steve looked…

Steve looked angry. 

Loki looked away, back at Ross. “I don’t care who you are,” he said again. “From what I understand, this is in place primarily because of Sokovia. A catastrophe which _I_ personally averted, by the way.”

“People still died,” Ross bit out. 

“People die every day.” Loki carelessly waved a hand. “Boring. I also managed to be kidnapped and held hostage for almost two days after saving your realm while no one in this room did anything to save me. Now you wish to tie my arms behind my back and give authority over a team I am a part of to whoever is this United Nation?” Perhaps it wasn’t a person. Perhaps a group of people? He still wasn’t entirely clear on what a nation was. 

“I seem to recall you murdering your own brother and posting it on social media and then coming back to U.S. soil.”

Arguably, it could be said that Clint’s farm was no longer Midgard property, but Asgardian, but Loki felt no need to get into that. “I did not kill him on Midgard. He was not a citizen of this Realm and the only place I can be tried for the crime is Asgard. I believe that is neither here nor there, General. If I was truly a threat to this realm, something would have been done before this meeting. We averted these disasters, many of them caused by your own government. Some of them caused inadvertently by _you_.”

Behind him, Banner hissed. 

Good thing he’d read through the various Avengers files Clint had in his mind. 

“I will have you charged with kidnapping—”

“Charge me how? I am not of your world. I do not abide by your laws, as is evident by this monstrous scrap of paper you laid before me. Now, say what it is you _truly_ want to say, General, before I pull it from you.”

Sam sighed out his name and rubbed his forehead. 

Stark spoke up. “Loki, stand down.”

Loki ignored him, because it was easy and because this felt like it was Stark’s doing anyway. 

“The Avengers are not held to a high enough standard,” Ross started, and Loki interrupted him because, well, he could. 

“Measured against who, exactly? What other team on your realm is combating such threats? I know that certainly _you’re_ not doing anything.”

Ross’s assistant stepped up to the end of a table and pulled a gun out of his belt. He pointed it at Loki. “Open the doors or I shoot.”

Ross continued like there wasn’t a gun in the room. “You must be held accountable. The Avengers need oversight. The panel can and _will_ determine appropriate threats and appropriate measures of attack and countermeasures.”

“Dogs on a leash, then,” Loki murmured, and Steve stiffened. 

He released his seidr on the doors and Ross and his aide quickly left. 

“You keep making enemies of the wrong people,” Steve sighed, but then he pointed at the Accords. “We’re talking about this. Now.”

Loki shrugged and followed everyone out. Banner caught his arm and they were the only two left behind. 

“How did you know?” Banner asked softly. “You don’t even _like_ me.”

“Clint knows,” Loki replied dismissively, "Which means I know. I don’t like anyone, but what that man did to you...monstrous isn’t enough of a word.” He paused for a moment to think. “I understand what it is to be hunted. To be made into something I am not.” He flashed Banner a small smile. “I do not intend to sit idly by and watch it happen to someone else.”

Loki turned and walked from the room. Right before he got out of earshot, he heard Banner mutter, “No, damn sure looks like you're not.”

Steve caught him. Loki felt every bit of the facade he’d put up tremble, and he quickly stepped away from Steve before his knees gave way. “I called you because I thought you could help,” Steve hissed at him, his voice low, “not so you could make the situation worse.”

Loki frowned at him. “Then I suppose you do not know me as well as I believed, for making situations _worse_ is somewhat of a specialty of mine.”

He turned away from his Captain and went into the smaller room off the kitchen. It looked like they were perhaps in Stark’s rooms. It was clear by how everything was designed to be as uncomfortable as possible while still looking refined. 

“Would you like Clint Barton’s presence?” he asked the group at large.

Natasha nodded, as did Sam, but Stark grumbled, “What’d he do for us? Just mess shit up more than you did?”

Loki stiffened and slowly turned his head to look at him. “From what I can tell, Stark, this comes primarily from your actions.”

“He can stay home,” Steve sighed as he came into the room, sitting at the chair at the head of them all. He slowly began to page through his copy of the Accords. “Loki, are these all identical?”

He sniffed. “Of course. A simple duplication spell is easy enough for even the witch to master.”

“How is this _my fault?_” Stark finally exploded, sitting up. “I’ve only tried to make the world a better place. A suit of armor around the world is what I wanted, primarily to diffuse situations like this.”

“Ultron,” Banner pointed out from the doorway. “It was _us_ that created him. Your idea, Tony.”

“We could’ve been the cause of death of thousands if we hadn’t stopped Ultron,” Natasha said, her voice quiet in the way that made Loki look for a weapon. “We need to be reined in.” Loki pointed out that he’d personally been the reason that so few people had died, but no one seemed interested in listening to that.

Steve blinked in shock at her. “Natasha,” he tried. “This panel would be run by _people_. People with agendas.”

“And agendas change,” Sam finished with a sigh. 

Rhodes pointed out, for some ungodly reason, “Ross has a Congressional Medal of Honor. More than any of us have.” Loki made a mental note to figure out what that was and why Rhodes cared. 

“He also created me,” Banner said, his voice louder than he’d meant. “Trying to recreate the serum. He created the Hulk and then tried to hunt me down and kill me. We can’t trust a damn thing he says.”

Stark stood up. “We need to be kept in check. We can’t run off at whatever threat we think we see.” He shook his head at them and paced a bit. “When I realized what my weapons were capable of in the wrong hands, I shut it down.”

“Did you not choose that?” Loki asked.

At the same time, Steve straightened up and said, “Tony, you _chose_ to do that.”

Loki looked away while Steve continued, “If we sign this, we surrender our right to choose. What if this panel sends us somewhere we don’t think we should go? What if there’s somewhere we need to go and they won’t let us?” He looked around at all of them and then his gaze stopped on Loki. “We’d be weapons. That’s not right. None of this is right.”

“If we don’t do this now, it’s gonna be done to us later.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Loki interjected. “I can—”

“Whatever you’re gonna say, Loki, can it,” Steve ordered, his voice exhausted. He looked back at Tony. “This isn’t a good idea, Tony.”

“We still have one hand on the wheel,” Natasha said. “We’ve made some very public mistakes. We need to win their trust back.”

Stark made a comment about Natasha agreeing with him but Loki’s eyes narrowed on Steve as the man pulled out his phone. Something strange happened to his face and he abruptly excused himself. 

Loki knew he didn’t have the right any longer to follow him. Whatever it was, he’d taken himself out of Steve’s life. So, instead he said, “Is the Avengers not a private organization? Can your government simply take over private organizations?"

As everyone argued over that, Sam hissed his name and jerkily motioned with his chin after Steve. Loki inclined his head and briskly followed while the Avengers argued amongst themselves. 

Steve was in a stairwell. He put his head in his hands and Loki wavered for a moment before stepping silently down the stairs and sitting at the height of Steve’s chest. 

“Captain,” he tried, his voice soft. “May I be of assistance?”

Steve let out a great shuddering breath and dropped his hands to look at him, eyes bright red. “I know I don’t…” His voice trailed off and something very strange and fragile passed over his face. “Can I have a hug?”

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if Steve wanted him to take on Bucky’s shape instead, but Loki only nodded and hoped he didn’t look too eager. He stood up and Steve came up the stairs to wrap his arms around him and Loki carefully, cautiously, slid his arms around Steve as well. 

For the first time in a long time, he felt settled. He was _home._

Loki closed his eyes. He wished he could’ve been enough for Steve Rogers. He’d thought after everything they’d been through, that he would’ve been what Steve wanted most of all. He’d clawed his way out from under Thor for the man, he’d practically chewed through the manacles with his own teeth to get to Steve. And yet, he was still not his soulmate. 

Sometimes, Loki wished he had not killed Thor. He could’ve surely lived the rest of Steve’s lifespan in Clint’s home, under the wards, and had left Midgard once he’d been laid to rest. He’d just been so _scared_. And Steve had faith in him, believed in him, loved him even. 

Loki had never been enough. Something fundamental about him was always _wrong_. He could not even have this.

“She’s dead,” Steve rasped, and he pulled away. “Peg. She died in her sleep.”

Loki rested his hand on Steve’s forearm, enjoyed the touch of flesh to flesh. “I am so very sorry,” he said solemnly. “Do you want company to her funeral?”

Steve turned away and Loki flinched a bit at himself. Stupid. He would probably ask Bucky, of course. Loki had been made clear enough of his place in Steve’s life, after all. 

“You don’t need to do that for me. I’ll ask Sam.”

Of course. Loki inclined his head and moved a few steps up. “I will go get him, then.” He turned away and then turned back around. “I truly am sorry, Steve. I know you loved her best.”

He felt Steve’s eyes on him as he ascended the stairs and assumed it was because Steve wanted to make sure he was really doing as he said. He entered the living room and ignored the questions, merely telling Sam that his presence was requested downstairs. Sam frowned at him and went into the stairwell. 

Loki inclined his head at the Avengers. “I believe you are fools to sign that,” he told them. “But you are welcome to make fools of yourselves.”

“Wait up,” Natasha called before he could walk back through the dimensions to Clint’s home. “Vision made a point that I think you missed. I think your insight would be appreciated.”

Loki frowned at her but turned his gaze to the monstrosity. The Vision explained that the higher numbers of enhanced peoples surely invited more attacks against their realm, that it incited world ending events and essentially, they were the cause. 

Loki’s frown grew. “The Chitauri would have invaded regardless of Stark. They were after the Tesseract, which was on Midgard because of HYDRA, yes? My brother brought me to Midgard to assist you. We have the Tesseract now, and I don’t see anyone coming after it because there happen to be _enhanced_ persons running amuck.” He paused for a moment. “I don’t believe this nonsense about there being more enhanced persons now than ever before. There are only more that you specifically know about. You forget I am 1500 years old, and I have been on your realm many a time. There have always been enhanced people.”

“Then the risk is that people are aware of those enhanced people,” Vision said in return. 

Loki shook his head. “Your reasoning is flawed. There will always be those more powerful than the common folk. It is the enemies that rise up regardless.” He thought about that. “How can you sign these when you saw how SHIELD, an agency you all trusted and worked for, was infiltrated? Surely the same thing could happen to this United Nation?”

That even gave Stark pause, but then he shook his head. “That’s what I’m here for. Make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“It did though,” Banner pointed out. “HYDRA happened right under everyone’s noses and nobody noticed at all. Who’s to say you’d notice, Tony? Hell, your dad didn’t notice.”

Stark glared at him and stalked into the kitchen. Loki moved up next to Banner. “If you need a place to rest,” he offered, keeping his voice calm and low. 

Banner threw him a shocked look but slowly, he nodded. 

Loki raised his voice one last time. “I hope you realize you have all played into General Ross’s hands. The Avengers could not be stopped if we all denied the Accords. You believe they could capture all of us, imprison all of us? This was meant to divide us.” He looked to Banner. “This will be nauseating.”

“Wait—”

But they were already gone, Loki dragging Banner through dimensions to the front yard of Clint’s farm. He leaned forward, hands on his knees, and retched. 

“So, you gonna let a piece of paper tell you what to do?” Clint called from the front porch. He had a mug of coffee in one hand and a copy of the Accords in the other. 

Banner straightened and followed Loki to the house. “You really sent a copy to Clint,” he said, shaking his head with a grin. Clint offered him a seat on the porch swing, but Banner shook his head. 

“Of course I did,” Loki replied with a frown. “Ross gave the eight of you _one_ copy. I needed to make sure nothing happened to it.”

“So he gave it to me, trusted paper saver,” Clint grinned. “Go inside and introduce yourself. Buck’s in there, probably making emo-pancakes or something. Hey, you think we can get the Hulk and Bucky to do an arm wrestling contest? I want to see who’s stronger.”

Banner looked like he was regretting his decision already, but he cautiously walked inside. 

Loki sat on the porch swing next to Clint and Clint rested his head on his shoulder while he continued to page through the Accords. 

“Peggy died.”

Clint had to think about who that was. “Oh, the chick he knew for like a year back in the the 40s? That’s too bad. Hell, surprised she made it this long.”

“I offered to go to her funeral with him. He turned me down.”

Clint patted him commiseratingly on the arm. “Sorry to hear that.”

Loki looked down at his hands. “I believe I have well and truly lost him,” he whispered. He didn’t want to believe it, but it had to be true. “l am not worthy of him. But I had to _know_, be certain that he was meant to be mine. I even believed him when he said he was no longer romantically interested in Bucky.” He snorted. “I wanted to so hard to believe that I had _earned_ him that I could not see the forest for the trees.”

Clint just sighed. Same old conversation that Loki had been having with himself for weeks now. Same old conversation that Clint wasn’t even allowed to partake in. He just had to sit there and let Loki be stupid at him. 

“You know, this Accords shit is pretty broad. From what I can tell, it basically covers anyone on the spectrum from Sam, who just _uses_ enhanced equipment, to you, who is somehow supposed to just bow to the whims of some big government council of a planet you’re not even a part of. It also _really_ restricts what you're allowed to do, and classifies you officially as a 'Threat Against Earth', which is nuts. You'd be under constant surveillance, have to be accompanied by a United Nations approved agent, have to do all this shit to get your movements approved. It goes on. They do remember that you _saved_ Sokovia, right?”

Loki's mouth turned down. "Could there be HYDRA influence on this? Thor was influential in convincing that organization I am truly evil incarnate."

"I mean, maybe? No way to know for sure." Clint shook his head, paged through a bit more of the complicated legalese. "This includes probably over 100 people, since it includes all of those magic folks that do the same shit Dr. Strange does. Anyone who had advanced tech like Stark is under it.” Clint frowned. “Actually, I’m under these Accords too, right? I’m just some guy who shoots a bow real well. That means anyone who is better than average at something has to sign this?” He shook his head.

“Do you intend to sign it?”

Clint snorted. “Fuck no. I’m retired anyway, but even if I wasn’t, you know I’d be with Cap all the way.”

Loki wrapped an arm around his shoulders and rested his cheek on the top of Clint’s head. He picked up Clint’s mug and took a sip, immediately grimacing. “This is disgusting,” he muttered, sending it away to the kitchen. 

“I double brewed it. Made a pot and then ran it through the machine again with fresh grounds.”

“You are _never_ to do that again.”

* * *

Sam texted Loki, told him to come to the funeral anyway. He and Clint had an argument about it, which was mostly just Loki saying mean shit about himself and Clint shaking his head, since he wasn’t actually allowed to say anything. But Loki managed to talk himself into it, dressing himself in an all-black suit and a black shirt and a black tie. Black shoes, black hair, black nails. Looking at him was like staring into a pit.

_Really going for one specific color scheme there, boss._ Loki glared at him as he was adjusting his tie in the mirror. Clint was perched on the side of the bathtub, still paging through the Accords. He’d texted Steve some of his concerns, but hadn’t heard back yet. 

Loki picked at his hair and Clint rolled his eyes. _You’re gonna miss the entire funeral if you don’t leave soon._

Loki glanced back at him and frowned, but then he nodded. _What are Midgardian funerals like?_

Clint thought about that. _Well, boring for one. There’s usually a viewing, where family members of the deceased can see the body, talk to it if they want. Then there’s a ceremony, where a priest or someone talks, and then family members or friends can talk if they want. Then there’s the burial part, where a priest talks again, then they put the casket in the ground. Takes a few hours. People cry a lot._

_How peculiar._ Asgardian funerals were generally solemn occasions, followed by a great celebration. If there was a body, they would be burned and sent over the edge of the great waters. If they had faded, depending on the rank and the achievements of the deceased, they would have a ceremony and then a portrait of them would be burned in a pyre. 

He turned to look at Clint, who nodded and gave him a thumbs up. Loki took a deep breath and smoothed down his suit, and then he pulled himself through space to the church. He stayed in the back, casting a minor unnoticeable charm on himself, and watched solemnly as Steve carried a casket draped with a strange cloth to the front of the massive hall. Peggy must be in the casket, then. Loki remembered meeting her, when she had been decrepit and withered away in her hospital bed, the way Steve had looked at her. 

Perhaps it was her that he could not live up to.

There would always be others that came first in Steve’s heart. He could not hope to compare.

The priest, he assumed, spoke for awhile at the head of the church, after Steve sat down next to Sam in one of the pews. Some of the tension left Loki’s shoulders at that. At least Steve had Sam with him, if nothing else, if he truly did not want Loki with him. Then the man invited up a woman.

Strange. Loki had met her once, the woman that lived across the hall from Steve in his old apartment, the woman that turned out to be a SHIELD agent sent to spy on him. She spoke of how she was Peggy’s niece, how she always looked up to her, how she met someone named JFK. 

He was too far away to see Steve’s reaction. He thought about slipping around to the side, moving up closer to the front, but didn’t want to disrupt the ceremony. It felt very solemn, very serious. He had an urge to set off a harmless seidr bomb, get everyone running, get a bit of chaos stirred up in his blood, but he restrained himself.

A few other people spoke, but Loki kept his eyes on the back of Steve’s head. A few times, Steve glanced around, as if feeling his gaze, but he never saw Loki, never saw past the spell. Loki found himself just a bit disappointed, but he stayed quiet.

It was a fair bit later that the ceremony ended, and the casket was carried back down the aisle. Loki watched Steve’s drawn, red-eyed face with concern.

They put the casket into a hearse, and Loki hung back as everyone talked amongst themselves for awhile and then all piled into their vehicles. Sam and Steve hung back, talking in the church. Loki made sure the spell was still intact and then sat in the last pew, crossing his right leg over his left and clasping his hands over his knee. He watched them hug, and then they stood, heads bowed, as Sam said something that had Steve’s shoulders trembling.

A few minutes later, Natasha walked into the church and Sam excused himself.

Loki watched them together, watched Natasha console Steve in a way that Loki was no longer allowed to. 

“When I came out of the ice,” Steve said, his voice carrying through the church, “I thought I had lost everyone, but I found out she was still alive. I was just lucky to have her.”

Natasha nodded at him. “She was lucky to have you, Steve.”

They both looked at the picture of Peggy, so different than the woman Loki had seen in that hospital bed. He stood up, ready to leave, but Steve spoke again. “Who else signed?”

Natasha crossed her arms over her chest. Loki stepped out into the main aisle and watched them. “Tony. Rhodey. Vision.”

“Clint?” Steve questioned. “Bruce?”

“Says he’s retired. Bruce isn’t...he won’t sign.” She looked away, her breath caught in her chest.

“Wanda?” He looked down the aisle, eyes landing on Loki, but they slipped off a moment later. He looked back at Natasha.

“TBD,” she said. “I’m off to Vienna, for the signing of the Accords. There’s plenty of room on the jet.”

Steve sighed and hung his head. For a moment, Loki wanted him to go with. Wanted him to do the safe move, wanted him to sign. But they all knew Steve wouldn’t budge, wouldn’t bend for anyone, much less a government agency that was trying to control him.

Loki turned to leave. 

“Loki?” Steve said, and he turned back around, hope filling him. “Still haven’t heard from him?” He was looking at Natasha, and something delicate in Loki’s chest fell and broke.

She shook her head. “Clint says he’s MIA. Won’t tell me where he went. Think maybe he went back to Asgard to avoid all this.”

Steve sighed again. “Yeah, that sounds like him.”

Loki left before he could hear anything else. He stood out in front of the church and awhile later, Sam joined him, elbowed him in the side. Loki looked down to see that his spell had faded, and he turned his head to try to smile at Sam.

“Midgardian funerals are very strange,” he said, looking out over the parking lot and the cemetary beyond, the line of cars in the distance. “You put your dead in the ground and let them rot.”

Sam snorted and led Loki to a car, waving for him to get in. “Suppose you do something better?”

“If their body remains, we burn it, send it over the edge of the waters. It is a fit funeral, a greater end than being in a casket underground.” He looked at Sam, who was such a kind person. He was good for Steve. 

“When you thought you were going to die,” Sam began, and he winced at his phrasing, but doggedly continued. They pulled out of the parking lot and onto the main road. “You wrote us letters. I don’t think we were supposed to find them. You told me it wasn’t weakness to lay down your sword.”

“It is not,” Loki said, looking over at him. “There are some battles that violence cannot win.” He turned his gaze back through the windshield, through the smattering of rain, at the cars passing, the strange buildings on the left and the right. “There are also battles that can only be won by getting up from the ground and using everything you have left to strike one final blow.”

Sam took in a surprised breath and didn’t say anything. They pulled into a building a few minutes later and Sam looked at him. “Hey, why don’t you come up to our hotel room? Have dinner with Steve and me.”

Loki thought about it and then nodded. The least he could do for his Captain while he was in grieving. Both of them climbed out of the car and Sam handed the keys to a valet, and Loki followed Sam inside. He leaned against the front desk while Sam talked to the receptionist.

Steve and Sharon walked in, talking quietly to each other. They walked over to the elevator and Loki watched them.

Oh.

He understood now.

It wasn’t only that he’d never been enough. He’d never been _right_ for Steve.

He turned his head away and disappeared.

* * *

Sam, Steve, and Sharon watched the TV. She was on her phone, talking to someone.

Bucky’s face came up. Steve clenched his jaw and ground his teeth.

“The suspect has been identified as James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier. The infamous HYDRA agent, responsible for countless acts of terrorism.”

Sam and Steve looked at each other and Sam swore, pulling out his phone. He called Bucky, but it went straight to voicemail.

“He’s been on Barton’s farm for, what, three, four months?” Sam said, his voice subdued. “He...Buck didn’t do this.”

Steve sat down and pulled out his phone. He thumbed through his contacts and landed on Loki, and for a moment, thought about calling him. Surely Loki could fix this, could cast some spell, could give him a potion to make this all better. But he scrolled up to Clint’s contact.

Clint answered after a few rings, and Steve put the phone on speaker, holding it out in front of him so both Sam and Sharon could hear. Sam muted the TV.

“Cap, hey!” Clint said, and he continued speaking before Steve could say anything, his voice coming through almost as a shout. “I can’t hear you, I’m trying to find my aids. Give me a minute.” There was the sound of frantic feet against floorboards. “Sorry, Steve. Cap. Loki keeps fuckin’ moving them. Hope you’re not saying anything right now. Holy shit, you’re not kidnapped and locked in a trunk are you?” Clint’s voice dropped as something moved in the background. “If you’re screaming, I can’t hear you.”

Steve rested his phone on the couch cushion next to him and put his head in his hands. Behind him, Sharon said, her voice flat, “_That’s_ Clint Barton? _The_ Hawkeye?”

“Yeah,” Steve said exhaustedly. “That’s him.”

Clint made a strangled sound and a door creaked open on his end. “Hey, boss! You seen my hearing aids? I’m on the phone, is there any yelling or anything? He could be kidnapped right now and I wouldn’t even know.”

Loki’s smooth voice filtered through. Steve frowned when he sounded rather down, depressed even. “Why on Midgard would I know?”

“I can’t hear you!” Clint yelled, and he slammed the door, feet clattering against the stairs. “Sorry, Cap, I usually have my aids with me.” He opened a door and said, “Hey, Banner. Cap’s on the other line. He’s not yelling or tapping in Morse code or anything right? I’m just trying to find my hearing aids?”

“Steve?” Banner’s voice came through.

“Have you seen the news, Bruce?” Steve said, but Clint moved away before they could hear Bruce’s answer.

“Barton was one of SHIELD’s most experienced and qualified agents,” Sharon said, her voice slow. “I read his file. Do you know what he’s capable of?”

“He’s one of the most dangerous people I’ve ever met,” Steve sighed, and all three of them winced as Clint let out a yelp and obviously fell down.

“I’m fine!” He climbed back up and opened a door. “Laura, hey, you seen my hearing aids?”

There was a crying baby in the background and they could hear Laura trying to shush him. 

“Why are you yelling?” Laura hissed. “Clint, are you on the _phone?_”

“What?” There was a pause and then Clint said, “Yeah, it’s Cap. Steve. Can you hear if he’s kidnapped or something?”

“Steve? Are you kidnapped?”

“No,” Steve said tiredly. “I just wanted to ask about Bucky.”

“Oh, he’s been outside all day. Clint keeps trying to get him to fight the Hulk.”

Sam perked up. “Has he?”

Laura didn’t grace them with a reply, which was probably smart.

They heard a far away voice and then Clint yelped. “Stop pinching me!” he exclaimed, and then a moment later he sighed and said, “Sorry about that, Cap. I would’ve just hung up on you and called you back but you could’ve been tied up in a van or in the trunk of a car or hanging off the side of a building. What do you need?”

Steve sighed. “I’m fine, Clint. Can you take me off speaker?”

“I can’t really hear you with my aids in, but give me a sec.” He held the phone away from him and yelled for Loki. “Can you whip up some magic for me?”

“You’re _still_ on the phone?”

“Can you do some kind of spell so I can hear what’s being said on a phone call through my aids?”

“Do you want the aids to work after?”

“I mean, ideally?”

There was a faint click and then a rapid _whoosh_ and then Clint’s voice was closer, less staticy. “Sorry about all that, Cap. What do you need?”

“Have you seen the news?”

Clint moved around and in the background they heard the TV turn on. Clint took in a surprised breath. “Jesus fuck.”

“Yes,” Steve said quickly. “I need you to tell me, Clint. Has Bucky left your property at all since he arrived?”

“A couple times with Wilson, but never alone. He’s too...fragile to be going anywhere. He definitely didn’t do...this.”

“Do you have proof?”

“Loki keeps track of the wards. There’s one that monitors who exits and leaves, but I don’t have access to that. Cap, uhh...You’d have to ask him for it. I’m under...I can’t really talk about it. But you’ll have to ask him directly. But Buck didn’t do this. Confirmed HYDRA agent, Christ.” He cleared his throat. “Sounds like they’re trying to flush him out.”

“I thought the same thing,” Sam said, his voice quiet. “You in?”

“You tell me when and where and I’ll be there. Loki too. He’s watching the news right now and he’s, well, not too happy.”

“Good,” Steve said sternly. “Neither am I.” He looked back up at the TV, where they were showing Bucky’s face again, that trademark frown and dark stare, framed by long hair. “Keep your phone on.” He hit the end call button and sighed. Fucking great.


	2. PART 2

Loki, Clint, Bruce, and Bucky were all out front of Clint’s house as the Quinjet touched down. Laura and the kids had all gone into town, and she had looked at all of them and declared she didn’t want to know what was going on. Clint had kissed her like it was the last time he was going to see her before she drove off.

Loki was wearing full regalia, dressed in heavy green and black leather, a long cape trailing down from his shoulders. He was more pale-faced than usual, a bit unsteady on his feet, and Clint kept close to him, just in case. Banner was sitting on the porch steps, head in his hands. Behind him, Bucky was standing at attention, eyes locked on Loki.

Two men descended from the gangway of the Quinjet. Loki’s chin lifted as Steve caught his gaze. He was in his dark blue Captain America suit, a dull grey star on his chest, scalemail down his legs, shield on his arm. He was wearing his helmet, but as he came closer, he unbuckled it and pulled it off, hanging it off his belt. Sam was wearing his Falcon attire, all black leather and burgundy and strong and sure of himself. Behind them, Bucky drew in a startled inhale.

“Is this really necessary?” Bruce said, standing up and coming close as Steve and Sam stopped in front of Loki and Clint. Clint pulled an arrow from his quiver on his back and nocked it. 

“Bucky,” Steve sighed, but when the man didn’t move from the porch, Steve looked at Loki, who clenched his jaw and raised his chin. “We need proof.”

Loki opened his hand and a scroll appeared in his palm. “I placed these wards over a year ago. This is every entry and exit since the wards were erected.” Loki took in a long, slow breath. “I will not allow you to take him.”

Steve took the scroll and unrolled it. “This is indecipherable.” Sam leaned over and glanced at it and nodded. Steve turned the scroll around and showed it to Loki and Clint, who both frowned. It took Loki a moment to understand.

“Ah, it is written in Asgardian. Only a moment to rectify it.” He reached forward and touched the parchment and green seidr spilled out and the words slowly changed. Steve turned it back around and nodded.

“Sam, how many times have you been here?” Steve teased. “How much is he paying in rent, Clint?”

Clint lowered his bow and smiled. “Nothin’, but he taught Barnes to cook, so that’s payment enough. Come on in, gentlemen. Not like you two have to be invited in, anyway.” He slid his arrow back into the quiver and he and Loki stepped to the side as Sam and Steve made their way up the porch steps and inside the house. Banner followed them in and Clint jumped up onto the porch to talk quietly to Bucky.

Loki caught wind of wings on the air, and he turned his head to see a raven wing down.

It landed on his outstretched arm and opened its mouth.

Heimdall’s voice came out of the raven’s beak. “Stephen Strange was injured in a vehicle accident yesterday eve. He is in a Midgardian hospital now, undergoing surgery.”

The raven took flight and Loki turned to watch it fly away, fading into the sky.

“We have to deal with this first,” Clint told him, quietly and empathetically. “Look, we can find out where he is, how he’s doing. But Bucky needs us right now.”

It felt like his entire life was falling down around him. He no longer had Steve, now Stephen was running towards his fate like a man hunted. Loki wondered if there was anything he could’ve done, anything _to_ be done. Their destinies were surely inevitable. Even as Stephen had been unfair to him, Loki’s heart was still evidently caught on the man, even as he did not wish it to be. He _missed_ him, and it was only made worse by Steve’s absence in his life. 

He finally nodded and turned his attention to Clint, who reached out a hand for him. Loki caught it and intertwined their fingers and bowed his head, just for a moment. 

“Guy’s too arrogant to die,” Clint told him, and Loki nodded, the two of them turning towards the house, Loki pausing when he saw Steve in the front window, thumbs in his belt, watching them, stone-faced. Loki swallowed and followed Clint inside. Everyone was gathered in the kitchen, and Loki quickly went to Bucky’s side, searching his gaze before leaning forward and murmuring in his ear.

“You will not come to harm,” he assured, and waited until Bucky nodded until he turned to look at Steve and Sam.

“SHIELD is looking for you. _Everyone_ is looking for you,” Steve said. “If we bring you in, we can stop this before it starts. We have proof that you couldn’t have been there, Bucky. Everyone in this house will vouch for you. They’re not going to take you alive.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Bucky said stiffly. “I won’t go back.” He turned and picked up a bag he’d already packed. “I’ll go back on the run.”

“Bucky, please,” Sam tried, and Bucky’s shoulders stiffened. “For me, man. Let us bring you in.”

A crash from out front had everyone jumping into battle positions. Loki immediately covered the house in a green seidr shield and Bucky tried to run, only Clint’s hand on his arm stopping him. They exchanged a firm glance and Bucky finally nodded, fisting his hands as they stood shoulder-to-shoulder against the oncoming tide. 

Men in combat gear tried to crash through the windows, but were thrown back by Loki’s shield. They managed to throw smoke bombs and grenades inside, and Clint and Bucky kicked them at Steve, who threw them back outside and jumped on them with his shield. Bruce roared as the Hulk took over, and he smashed through the front door, punching whatever agent came close. Sam pulled the small machine guns off his wrist armor and began firing. Clint moved behind him, arrows flying, taking down whatever agents he could. 

They could get through Loki’s shield, but the agents outside couldn’t get in. All of them moved out onto the destroyed front porch, firing weapons and spells and arrows and bullets, Bucky punching anyone who was stupid enough to get close to him. The Hulk destroyed the cars and trucks the agents had arrived in, smashing a few agents with one of the flattened vehicles, letting out an ungodly roar as he did. 

Then, suddenly, as Loki was almost beginning to think that they could win this, a black shape lunged through the agents and clawed through his shield. It was a man in a strange suit, a black suit, almost like a cat. The figure lunged at Bucky, who met him with a punch, and then they were on the floor, destroying what was left of Clint’s porch. Loki rolled his eyes and dropped the shield around the house, turning his attention to the figure. Bucky managed to throw him outside of the house and stalked after him, and Loki caught the figure in midair, tying his arms to his sides with seidr. He kept the figure floating, tied with seidr, and he and Bucky moved to continue fighting the never-ending deluge of agents and officers.

Then, as they all circled together, Steve throwing his shield and Clint shooting arrows and Loki slinging spells while Sam shot his guns and jumped and flipped to incapacitate and kill agents with his outstretched wings and Bucky pulled a knife from god-knows-where and stabbed anyone who got close, they were suddenly surrounded by vehicles and guns and even Loki knew they were outmatched.

War Machine flew down from the sky, repulsors and weapons aimed and ready.

They all finally obeyed the shouted orders to stand down, Loki lowering his hands and Steve putting his shield on his back and Clint lowering his bow. Sam put away his guns and Bucky dropped his knife.

The mask moved away from Rhodey’s face. “Congratulations, Cap. You’re a criminal.”

Before anyone else could move, Loki turned to Clint and touched his forehead. The two of them disappeared in a flash of green light.

Steve sighed and held his hands up again.

* * *

“So, you like cats?”

* * *

They put Bucky in a cage, strapped him down like he was a beast. They didn’t know how to deactivate his arm, which meant they weren’t HYDRA. Yet, anyway. But it was too tight and too powerful for him to even adjust or move, which meant there was no getting out.

He’d gone through this before. This was nothing compared to the Chair, compared to the cryo, compared to Pierce, compared to those dozens of HYDRA scientists that picked at his brain and his arm and did surgery on him while he was still awake and twisted him into a monster and then set him loose on the world to kill anyone in his path.

He leaned his head back against the uncomfortable seat as they moved him. He wanted to close his eyes, pretend his was somewhere else, anywhere else. 

Loki had _sworn_, which meant he was doing something. Loki had let them take him, which meant Bucky wasn’t going to be there for long. He looked around the room they’d placed his cage in, desperate to see anything out of place, a glimmer, even a spark of green. But there was only a table and a chair, ten feet in front of him. He ground his teeth and glared and tried to seem as little of a threat as possible. His arm whirred as he unconsciously tried to fight his way out.

He would sit, let them talk to him. Let them evaluate him.

If Loki didn’t get him out before HYDRA found him, Bucky was gonna fuckin’ kill him.

* * *

Loki sat in the hospital waiting room, looking through sunglasses down at his phone while Clint walked casually down the hall to Stephen’s room. In and out, just five minutes, then they were going for Bucky, hiding him in whatever corner of the world they could scratch out for themselves, and that would be that. Loki just needed to _see._

Asgard would welcome them, surely. They could even bring Clint’s family, perhaps Steve and Sam after a few years had passed. It was doable.

Clint went into the wrong room, apologized and laughed with the patient in there, and then slid across the hall to where Stephen Strange was recovering from surgery. His hands were bound in white bandages and elevated on small platforms. His long face was torn up, a few stitches on his forehead, and he slept peacefully.

_You need to see more?_

_Closer._

Clint nodded and glanced up and down the hall to make sure no one saw him, and stepped further into the room, going up to the bed. He lowered his own sunglasses so Loki could use his eyes, just for a minute.

Stephen would be fine. There was nothing Loki could do, which tightened a bit of the ache in his chest to see Stephen in such a manner. He could feed him potions, give him spells, but...there were bigger parts at play than Loki’s past-life affection for a man who didn’t even know him. Stephen needed to go to Kamar-Taj. They all had their destinies.

Just as Clint left the room and walked back down the hall to Loki, Steve’s voice spoke in Loki’s ear, frantically calling his name.

Loki pulled himself through space, leaving Clint scowling in the empty waiting room.

He landed in a strange conference room, windows on all sides, a larger room filled with computers and monitors surrounding them. Steve was standing at one end, arms crossed over his chest, looking up at a monitor that displayed Bucky’s stoic face. Sitting at the table were Bruce and Sam, and standing next to them, Sharon.

Loki turned to Steve. “Captain,” he greeted, his voice slow and cautious.

“You and Barton think this was a ploy to flush Bucky out,” Steve said sternly. 

Loki shrugged one shoulder. “If Clint believes so, then I suppose I do as well.” He glanced at Sam and Banner. “How many people upon your realm? That many eyes looking for him?”

“Someone framed him to find him,” Sharon said.

“I was only able to find him because he wanted to be found,” Sam added, leaning forward to look at a copy of the picture of Bucky that had been released.

Loki looked between all of them and turned his gaze up at the monitor and frowned. “Something is wrong. This is wrong. Who is that man?”

The man on the monitor pulled out a book from his briefcase and Bucky’s eyes widened. Even through the black-and-white video, Loki _knew_ that book.

Right before he was about to disappear, Steve’s hand caught his arm. “Don’t go where I can’t follow.”

Loki inclined his head and was gone.

He was invisible when he reappeared in the room. Bucky was fighting his bonds, begging for the man to stop, and Loki looked around, found the guards, and killed all of them with a flash of green seidr. It was bright enough to disable the cameras, but Loki sent a tendril of seidr up through the wires to the screen that Steve was watching.

He made himself visible again and Bucky sagged in relief, but still struggled and screamed in pain as the man continued speaking.

Loki punched him in the temple so hard his brains burst out the side of his head.

There was a sudden flash of electricity that had Loki’s teeth hurting and the entire room went dark.

“Bucky,” he called quietly, moving towards the cage.

There was no answer.

He slid his seidr over the cage and found the latches at the top and bottom, breaking them in two so the front door fell off with a bang. 

Bucky stumbled forward out of the cage and fell to his knees, looking up at Loki.

Loki summoned the red book and held his hand out to Bucky, who took it, and right before the door burst in, agents with guns flooding in, they disappeared.

* * *

Loki handed the red book to Clint once they landed safely in his safe house. “Read this. Tell me what vital information it holds when you are finished.” He turned to Bucky, who was listing visibly on his feet. “What did that man want from you, Bucky?”

“A location,” Bucky said, collapsing on the chair Loki brought over for him, putting his head in his hands. All three of them were silent for a few minutes, except for Clint turning pages, looking progressively sicker and sicker as he read. 

Finally, Bucky raised his head. “You said I wasn’t gonna get hurt.”

Loki glanced over him, purposefully apathetic in his movements. “You look unharmed to me.” He turned away from Bucky to Clint. “Perhaps I lied.”

“Does Steve know where we are?” Bucky asked. “I need to see him.”

Loki stiffened and moved away, Clint handing him his phone without looking up from the book. He typed in a text and then looked back at Bucky, pocketing the phone. Clint rolled his eyes but kept reading. 

Loki stepped away and went to use the bathroom, changing out his formal Asgardian gear for more comfortable black leggings and a green sweatshirt and a pair of black running shoes. He washed his hands and his face and then looked at himself in the mirror before he gaze dropped to the place on his arm where Steve had grabbed him. 

_Don’t go where I can’t follow._

The way Steve had said it, the order in general...Loki locked his knees so he wouldn’t crumple to them. It made a strange, fragile hope rise in his chest. He tried to push it down but it spread through him like a curse. 

He could’ve taken them to Asgard, any other realm, the other side of the planet, but they were only a stone’s throw away from where Bucky had been incarcerated. Easy enough for Steve to find them. 

He closed his eyes for a moment, splashed some water on his face, put his hair to rights, and went back into the main room of the small apartment. He tapped through Clint’s phone, sent Laura a message to not go home for awhile and that she could use the new credit card in her purse for funds, and then opened a pocket dimension, sliding the phone in and pulling Clint’s weapons out. After a moment of consideration, he handed Bucky a knife and a handgun and a box of bullets.

Clint let Loki push him into an armchair as he continued reading, and Loki let himself fret over him for a moment, conjuring up a mug of coffee and a glass of water with a drop of healing potion in it, and then he sat in the chair next to Bucky and looked at the man. Bucky looked back. 

“I have to get these words out of my head,” Bucky said finally, looking away from him. “God only knows how many of those books are out there. I’m...I’ve been living on borrowed time.”

“Pretty sure this is the only copy,” Clint offered up. “I can’t imagine HYDRA had more than one of these floating around. _Everything_ is in here. Experiments they did on you, on other soldiers, other words they tried, the experiments with figuring out the right ratio of cryo and the memory-suppressing machine, how the serum Zemo injected with you helped the whole process...this information is far too valuable to put in more than one place. They didn’t even computerize it, I’d bet. None of this was in those HYDRA files we pulled from their servers. So this is just notes that they eventually compiled in this book.”

“Other words?” Bucky replied slowly. “I don’t...there are other words?”

“The trigger words are random, but they have to be a specific _kind_ of random. Nothing that could come up in any type of regular conversation. Not that anyone was having any type of regular conversation around you, bud, but they had to take as much risk out of the equation as possible. It looks like they deprogrammed the old words and this sequence was the one that stuck.”

“Deprogrammed,” Bucky repeated, glancing at Loki, who looked a bit interested. “So nobody would have to mess with my mind again.”

“Well, you’d have to go back in something they called the Chair.”

Bucky shoved to his feet and fisted his hands and shook his head wildly, baring his teeth. “No.”

Clint looked up from the book and put up his free hand, nearly knocking over the floating coffee mug next to him. “Nobody’s doing anything to you that you don’t want, Bucky. I know Loki had to get all over-emotional about Doc for a few minutes while you were being interrogated, but nothin’s gonna happen to you.”

Loki nodded and Bucky blew out a great breath, sitting back down and glowering at them. Clint turned his attention back to the book, turned a few pages and made a curious sound. “Huh. Says they used you for training in the Red Room. Hey, that’s where Nat…” Clint stiffened and swallowed thickly and Loki sat up straight. 

Before he could expound, someone rapped on the door and Loki waved his hand for it to open. Sam and Steve filed in, still in plainclothes. Bucky rushed to them and the three of them did some kind of awkward, three-way hug that Loki couldn’t bear to look at. And then Bucky stepped up into Sam’s space and wrapped his arms around the man’s shoulders and kissed him while Steve walked up to Loki and gently rested his hand on Loki’s shoulder. 

“Thank you,” he said quietly, earnestly, and pulled up a chair to sit next to Loki, knees brushing his thigh. “I don’t wanna think about what would’ve happened if he’d been activated, so thank you, Loki.”

Loki dipped his head. “Of course, Captain.”

They looked at each other for a long, drawn-out moment, before they were interrupted by Sam asking, “Barton, is that that book we’ve been looking for for like two years?”

Clint looked up from the book with a nod, a bit green around the gills. Sam and Bucky quickly curled up together on the couch across from Clint’s armchair, Bucky resting his head on Sam’s chest, Sam’s arms wrapped around his shoulders. 

“Still don’t know how it got from HYDRA to Zemo, or who Zemo even was,” Clint grumbled. “But I have another question. Where’s Bruce?”

Sam hit his head against the back of the couch as he groaned. “Fuck. We just _left him,_ Cap.”

Steve groaned and pulled out his phone from his pocket and moved to power it on, but then he froze. They’d lock on his signal and find him. Loki held out his hand for the device and after a moment, Steve obligingly handed it over. Loki powered the phone on and once it had a signal, he pressed his thumb to the screen and a bubble of seidr burst over the screen. Loki handed it back. 

“It is now untraceable.”

Steve nodded slowly. “How good is this spell?”

“We ain’t got any agents at our door yet, Cap,” Clint said, not looking up from the book. 

Steve glanced over Loki. “How do you know how to do this?”

Loki shrugged one shoulder. “Clint knows how to make a call untraceable. From what I understood of his knowledge, a phone connects to some type of tower in order to contact other phones. When it connects to the tower, the phone sends an approximate location. I merely do not allow that to happen.”

Steve nodded and dialed Bruce’s number, putting the phone on speaker as it rang. Bruce picked up after a few rings.

“Steve.”

There was the tiniest _click_ as whoever had access to Bruce’s phone was listening in and trying to find his location. Steve glanced at Loki, who was looking at the phone. “You alright, Banner? You wanna tell us where you are?”

“He’s with me,” Sharon’s voice filtered through. “He’s safe.”

Steve sighed and his shoulders relaxed. “Thanks, Sharon. Ross trying to get anywhere near him? Bruce, we’ll come get you.”

“We’re in a secure facility three stories underground,” Sharon said slowly. “Even you couldn’t get in here, Steve.”

Steve looked at Loki, who stood up. Their eyes met and Loki’s knees visibly trembled. Steve’s jaw set. “Peggy might not have told you this, Sharon, but people always did like to underestimate me.” On the couch, Bucky rolled his eyes. “You’d think they’d know better by now. Bruce, give us a minute.” He nodded at Loki, who inclined his head and disappeared.

He landed in a large room. On the far end of the room was a massive glass cage, similar to the one he remembered from the Helicarrier. Bruce was trying to pull out of a strange restrictive coat that he had been put in. Loki looked at Sharon, who was standing next to a bank of computers and looking thoroughly unhappy about it. Seidr flickered over Loki’s hands and he looked casually around, waiting until he was noticed. The room was otherwise empty except for the Hulk’s cage and the computer bay, so Loki was seen fairly quickly, a few guards raising their guns to him and demanding he stand down. 

Sharon turned on a dime, pulling her handgun off her hip and pointing it at him. “You sent Loki?” she called over to the phone sitting on the computer desk. “_That_ was your plan, Steve? We have orders to keep Banner contained until you, Barnes, Wilson, and Barton are apprehended.” She took in a deep breath. “Look, Loki, I’m sorry about this. But I have to follow my orders. It’s my job.”

Loki nodded slowly. “It seems we are at an impasse then, for I am also under orders.” His mouth slid into a slippery smile and her shoulders tensed. “Are you going to shoot me, Agent Carter?”

She looked at him for a long moment and then tapped at Bruce’s phone, holding it up to her ear. Sharon turned away from all of them and spoke quietly to Steve. “I can’t let you do this, Steve. There’s procedures in place. You’re _criminals_ now. He’s a wanted fugitive of the U.S. government.”

Sharon paused and turned her head to look at Loki, who clasped his hands behind his back and raised an eyebrow at her. 

“I’ll bring him to you. We keep Banner.”

“Alternatively,” Loki drawled, “I take Banner and we both leave.”

Sharon raised a hand and one of the guards stepped forward, carrying a massive gun. It was peculiarly shaped, larger than almost any gun he’d seen before, and the barrel was massive. It smelled of fire. Loki stiffened, feeling the hair on his arms stand up.

“Choose, Steve.”

Across the room, Bruce called out, “Just take Loki, Steve. I’ll get out.”

Oh, this was so _tedious._

Loki reached out a hand, palm up, and before Sharon could give the order, he brought his fingers into a fist. The strange gun crumpled and the guards closest to it crashed to the floor. Bruce shook off his restraints, green showing through his white skin, and then he turned, and he was no longer Bruce.

Loki froze at the sight of the Beast.

It was only a moment, just a split second, but the Beast roared and Loki took an unconscious step back before remembering himself and putting on a thin smile. He’d never transported such a large creature through the dimensions, but he was always up for a challenge.

He opened his hand and a balloon of seidr rose up from his palm, floating up through the air. Sharon caught sight of it and paused, pulling the phone away from her ear. “Loki?” she questioned, her voice cautious.

“It won’t hurt,” he smiled. “Much.”

The balloon burst, and when the green cleared, Loki and the Hulk were gone.

They landed back in the apartment, Loki almost jumping away from the frozen Hulk. Sam and Bucky let out simultaneous curses and leapt off the couch. Clint looked up from the book with a raised eyebrow, and Steve stood up, arms crossed over his chest. He dropped the phone to the table, ending the call between him and Sharon. The Beast was wrapped in a tight coat of green seidr, and every time he tried to move, wisps of seidr floated off him and then visibly darkened and strengthened, moving back in to bind him ever tighter.

“Give us Banner back,” Loki said casually, doing his best to keep the fear of this great monster out of his voice. Steve shot him a concerned look but didn’t say anything. The Hulk groaned in his confines. “I can promise you that it will grow ever more uncomfortable. The spell tightens the more you struggle. It is passive, so I can hold it forever. Would you enjoy starving to death?”

“No,” the Hulk grumbled, brow furrowing. All he could move was his face, and barely at that. “Hulk not want.” He closed his eyes and a moment later, Bruce was gasping like a fish out of water as the Beast shrunk down beneath his skin. 

“That was fast,” he panted. “Usually takes a lot longer than that.” Sam helped him to his feet and Bucky got him a glass of water. Sam checked his pupils and his pulse and his respiration while Bruce sat down on the couch. “You really would’ve let Hulk just fight himself into exhaustion?” He looked at Steve but Loki was the one who answered.

“The spell is passive, as I said. We could have left the Beast here and come back in a week when we were finished with whatever quest this is.”

Bruce opened his mouth to reply and then clearly thought better of it, shaking his head. “Alright, what’s next?” He inclined his head at the book in Clint’s hands. “What’s that?”

Clint opened his mouth to reply and then looked at Loki. _Maybe he could help? Guy has like 30 PhDs._

Loki elegantly shrugged one shoulder and waved his hand at the small kitchenette, a snake of seidr slipping through the cabinets to begin making coffee. “It is not my decision,” he said out loud, turning his head slowly to look at Bucky. “Do you desire Bruce’s help?”

Steve rubbed at his chin. “How many doctorates do you have now, Bruce?”

Bruce uncomfortably cleared his throat. “Seven. Well, three of them are honorary. Physics, chemistry, and nuclear physics. Then I have _actual_ PhDs in gamma radiation, biochemistry, and I also have a medical degree. Oh, and a doctorate in psychology.” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

“So you _might_ be able to help,” Sam said, looking at Bucky with his eyebrows raised. “Dude, you wanna go talk about this?”

Bucky looked between all of them and visibly swallowed. “I don’t know him.” He shook his head. “That’s not important right now. We’re running out of time. The...man wanted to know about Siberia.” He looked at Loki, and then at Steve.

A few coffee mugs floated out of the kitchen and floated in front of Steve, Sam, Bucky, and Loki. After Bruce cleared his throat, Loki conjured a mug of tea for him. 

“Siberia?” Steve repeated. “What’s in Siberia?”

Bucky looked around for a chair and Sam quickly brought him one. He sat down and took the mug of coffee, wrapping his hands around it and hanging his head. “I was kept there, sometimes. So were...I wasn’t the only Winter Soldier.” He trailed off and a mask of horror dropped over his face. “I don’t remember it all, but there were five of them. HYDRA’s most elite death squad. More kills than anyone else in HYDRA’s history. They...I used to have to fight them. It was a kind of test, both for me and them. Sometimes it was for fun. Guards used to bet on it.” He shook his head and Sam rested his hand gently on Bucky’s shoulder. “Used to be able to get through about three, sometimes four of them. Then they gave them the serum. Only took one of them to take me down after that.”

Steve nodded, leaning over Loki to take his coffee and sip at it. Loki blinked a few times and watched him.

“The serum?” Bruce asked.

Bucky looked at Bruce. “I can’t…” he trailed off and shook his head. “Siberia. We have to go to Siberia.”

“He’s dead, though,” Bruce spoke up, glancing at Loki. “You killed him.”

Clint looked up from the red book. “I think I know how Zemo got the book.” He held it out to Loki, showing a page with the words _Thor Odinson_ written at the top.

Loki’s face paled and he shoved to his feet. Steve’s hand caught his arm. “We knew he was working with HYDRA,” he said quietly. “He gave them the Scepter. He traded the Scepter for this book.”

Behind him, Bucky gagged and turned his face into Sam’s side. Sam gently ran his hands through Bucky’s hair.

“He took you to Asgard after Sokovia,” Steve started, but Bruce interrupted him.

“Hold on, Thor was in HYDRA?”

“Oh, _keep up!_” Loki spat, turning on him. “Aren’t you meant to be _smart?_” He turned around and paced the far length of the small room, yanking his arm from Steve’s grasp as he did so.

“Sorry about that,” Clint said sheepishly. “Boss is a little touchy. But, yeah, try and keep up.” He looked up at Loki and frowned, concern furrowing his brow. “So you think he found Zemo after you escaped Asgard? How’d he manage that?”

“HYDRA was nearly dismantled completely by then,” Steve offered up darkly. 

“Guy’s also super dead now,” Sam said, leaning on the arm of the couch, Bucky leaning against his side. “So we can’t ask him. Anyone else we can ask?”

Loki paused, eyes glittering. “Heimdall.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna—”

The Gatekeeper appeared in the apartment with a flash of light. He was massive, taking up part of the wall next to the armchair and the couch, dressed in heavy gold armor, a great red cape flowing down from his shoulders. He wore a gold helmet with heavy horns, and clasped Hofund, the sword of the Bifrost, in his ringed hands. He looked sternly down at them, gold eyes glittering. 

He inclined his head to Loki and Steve. “My Prince. You summoned me.”

Loki stood at attention, hiding the shaking in his hands by holding them behind his back. He stepped up next to Steve, who bumped his shoulder against his hip. “Tell me.”

“Thor found the Midgardian organization HYDRA after Asgard was darkened to you. He learned of them during his time assisting the Avengers. I have suspicion that he knew of them before, but I have been unable to...he _did_ something; a spell, perhaps? A geas?”

“We never mentioned HYDRA to him,” Steve said slowly, and those gold eyes slowly turned to look at him. “There would’ve been no reason to.”

“Thor was able to escape my sight at times. It is common for a King to need time outside the Watcher’s gaze.”

“Was he given access to files?” Sam asked. “Anything?”

Loki looked at Clint. _He was aware of HYDRA in other timelines. He did not even need information from this one._

Clint nodded, tapping his fingers on the pages of the red book. _How’d he get into contact with them? How in the world did he even _find_ HYDRA? There’s no way they’d trust him._

Loki thought about that, mind racing. “Heimdall, when did you notice the change? You said Thor changed something.”

“Before his coronation.”

“Yes, I was there—”

“No,” Heimdall said, his deep voice rough. “The first one.”

Clint jumped to his feet, red book falling to the floor, and helped Loki to a chair. Steve rested his hand on Loki’s wrist, strong fingers wrapping around his arm. 

Loki looked up at Bucky and Sam and Bruce, who were all staring at him with wide eyes. “I apologize preemptively,” he said, and waved his free hand. The three men were suddenly transported into the tiny bedroom. Sam tried the door but it was locked, and when he leaned his ear against the door, there was nothing. He tried to pound on the door but it didn’t budge, and he could tell that no one heard them.

“Are you telling me that Thor took himself back _years?_” Clint said. “He went to, what, 2011?”

“Further,” Loki said softly. “I fell in 2011. He went back nearly a decade before that.” He looked up at Heimdall. “Odin attempted a coronation when we were younger. I had almost forgotten...I was not even allowed at the ceremony, but I remember it went poorly. He was on Asgard that entire time?”

“He had a decade to find HYDRA, gain their trust.” Loki shook his head. “Clint, come here. Heimdall, sit and put the sword down.”

“I cannot leave my post for long,” Heimdall tried, but Loki ignored his protests.

“Now.”

Clint moved to pick up the red book but frowned when the floor was empty. “Uh...anyone know where that went?”

Loki glowered and summoned it, the red journal appearing in his hands. He handed it to Steve, who looked disgusted and put it on the kitchen table, and Clint came over to sit at Loki and Steve’s feet. He rested his chin on Loki’s knee and closed his eyes when Loki’s fingers trailed over his face.

Heimdall sat down on the couch after resting Hofund against the wall. 

“Heimdall, you will guard us. When we are finished, you may leave.”

Heimdall inclined his head. “Yes, Sire.”

Steve rested his left hand on the side of Clint’s neck and reached out for Loki’s hand with his right. Their fingers intertwined and Loki glanced at him before brushing his fingers over the stone behind Clint’s ear.

Steve and Loki walked down the bridge to Clint’s mind, Loki carefully pulling his hand out of Steve’s. He would not—he could not let himself. He could not be that weak.

Clint met them in the vast room at the forefront of his mind. He clapped his hands together and shook out his arms and nodded. _Alright, what are we looking for first?_

_First, I need all the information Steve has on HYDRA. You are going to compare information while I look through your memories of this timeline, most specifically the decade before I fell. Then, I will need to go into my library. I had believed that Thor could only enter timelines at specific points. I had never thought about what he did with the existing versions of ourselves._

_He killed them, right?_ Steve asked, glancing around Clint’s mind. He ran his fingers over the bridge that stretched to Loki and both Clint and Loki shuddered at the feeling. _How did Heimdall not see? No one suspected anything?_

_He had Frigga’s help,_ Loki pointed out. _She was a frightfully powerful and skilled seidrkonr. Personality spells, appearance glamours...various others. It would not have been difficult for her to help him with the ruse._

Steve turned back to them and leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest. _She watched, Thor, her son kill you, what, a thousand times? More? And she supported him?_ Steve shook his head. _Helped him, even? And they’re in league with Thanos and HYDRA...what was Thor’s goal, at the end of all this? It couldn’t have just been to get you back. Did he want to rule Earth or something?_

_Wasn’t it, though?_ Loki replied lowly. _Wasn’t it about me? That was why he began. He had the Winter Soldier book, he knew it was entirely possible to create a mindless automaton—_

_What if he didn’t kill all of those other Loki’s?_ Clint interrupted. _What if Frigga put them somewhere? What if Thor was building an army?_

Loki slowly turned and regarded Clint. He paced for a minute, thinking about it. _How could he...he would have to transport something through timelines._

_What if we’re not in a different timeline?_ Clint asked. _What if we’re in a time loop?_

* * *

* * *

The door to the bedroom opened and Loki stood in the doorway, arms crossed over his chest. He glanced over the three of them and his gaze fell on Bruce. “Very rude of you to take the journal. Now, come with me.”

Sam and Bucky followed a sheepish Bruce out of the small bedroom, where Clint and Steve were sitting around the small kitchen table, sharing a cup of coffee and arguing in low tones over it. Loki curled up in the armchair and waved the three of them to the couch.

“What do you know about time travel?” Loki asked, examining his nails. 

“It’s impossible,” Bruce said. “You can’t change the past. There’s some experimentation with the quantum realm—”

Sam groaned. “I know who we can talk to.” He looked at Loki. “Guy who went real small? Ant-boy or whatever?”

Loki perked up. “Oh, I _do_ remember him. You called me for assistance when he thoroughly beat you into the ground.”

“I never heard about this,” Steve said, a small smile gracing his face. “What happened, Sam?”

“It was a year ago,” Sam sighed, rubbing at his forehead. “I _also_ remember he got away from you too, Loki. Look, aren’t we supposed to be going to Siberia? Figure out whoever Thor was talking to? Not just the guy who’s brains Loki blew out so he can’t ask him any questions about his big evil scheme or whatever?”

“Oh, very well.” Loki pushed to his feet and brushed off his clothes. “Bruce, I am sending you to the New York Sanctum. There is someone there named the Ancient One. She will know of a man named Dr. Strange. I doubt she will listen to you, so you must mention a beast by the name of Dormammu. He will come from the dark dimension and is a great and terrible foe. Dr. Strange manages to defeat him. She will know all of this.” He trailed off and caught Steve’s eye. Loki looked away and delicately cleared his throat, and with a wave of his hand and a puff of green smoke, Bruce was gone.

Steve finished the coffee and ignored Clint’s protests about it as he pushed to his feet, resting his hands on the kitchen table and leaning on them. “We have a fight ahead of us. This is something we can’t come back from. We have to do this, no matter what is in that facility in Siberia. Tony is going to come after us. T’Challa is coming after us. We’re on the right side of this fight, no matter what anyone tells us.” He met Bucky’s gaze. “You ready?”

Bucky nodded.

* * *

_You take down Vision, I get Wanda._

_No, _you _incapacitate the Vision. The witch likes me. Surely she would not go with you._

_She definitely likes me more. She’ll see your ugly mug and throw herself out the window._

_Wanda will see your face and call Stark and sign the Accords._

Clint burst out laughing right as Wanda turned around and used her powers to throw a knife at him, stopping it just a couple inches away from his face. Clint grinned at her and knocked the knife out of the way. “I always forget to knock.”

She exclaimed in surprise and then moved over closer to him. “What are you doing here?”

“Disappointing my kids, for the most part.” He turned around and waved his hand, giving Loki the signal that it was fine for him to come out of hiding. Loki appeared and inclined his head at Wanda. Clint shot two arrows that sung with electricity and moved over to grab Wanda’s hand. “Cap needs our help. We gotta go, come on.” _Those forcefield arrows won’t hold him for long._ He pulled her towards the exit and Loki walked past them, standing in the middle of the apartment, waiting for Vision, who appeared just a few moments later, floating through the wall.

Vision said Clint’s name and Clint stopped and sighed and both of them turned around. “You should not be here.”

“Really? I retire for, what, like five minutes and it all goes to shit.”

“Arguably,” Loki offered up, “you didn’t even retire. You just stopped being an official part of the Avengers and whatever is left of SHIELD.”

Clint pointed an arrow at him. “Good point. So I was only half-retired and it still all went to shit.”

Vision frowned at them. “Please consider the consequences of your actions.” He looked at Loki. “You as well.”

Both of them thought for a moment and then nodded at the same time. “Okay, they’re considered,” Clint said, and Vision took a step forward, getting caught in the electromagnetic forcefield between the two arrows. Loki immediately wrapped more seidr around him and waved Clint and Wanda out of the room. “Look, we gotta go.” He began moving towards the exit but stopped when Wanda hung back. “It’s this way.” He pointed out the door.

“I’ve caused enough problems.”

Clint sighed. “We all got problems, alright? You gotta help me, Wanda. We all make mistakes. But to make amends, we have to _do_ something about it. Not just sit on our ass. Now get off it and come on. Cap needs us.” Vision managed to overpower the forcefield but Loki’s seidr still managed to hold him tight. “Shit!” He readied an arrow and Loki looked back at him. They nodded at each other and Loki dropped the spell, moving out of the way so Clint could hit Vision with another electromagnetic arrow.

It went right through him.

“Fuck,” Clint gasped as Vision punched him in the chest and grabbed his bow, throwing it to the ground. “Aw, come on man.” He rolled to his feet and shook out his hands, pulling a baton off his belt. “I should’ve stretched.”

Loki conjured his staff and used the end of it to push Wanda out of the way as Clint tried to punch Vision, but the being kept dematerializing and reappearing. Loki swung his staff over his head a few times and joined the fight, managing a lucky hit across the back of Vision’s shoulders, but it didn’t seem to slow him down at all.

He managed a few more hits but Vision caught Clint in a headlock. It was frightfully frustrating to be so ineffective.

“Clint. You can’t overpower me.”

Clint grabbed onto Vision’s forearm and tried to free his airway. Loki frowned and stepped forward, resting the pointed end of his staff against the back of Vision’s head.

“Oh, I know,” Clint wheezed. “But she can, and I can bet Loki’s not too happy about you fuckin’ with me.”

Wanda brought up her hands and created a writhing ball of red seidr in her palms. “Vision,” she said slowly. “Let him go. I am leaving.”

“I can’t let you do that.”

“Whoever said anything about _let?_” Loki said between gritted teeth, and he struck, driving the end of his spear into the back of Vision’s head. It wouldn’t permanently incapacitate him, but it would give them just enough of an opportunity to escape before Vision regained himself. At the same time, Clint managed to get free, throwing himself away as Wanda brought down a massive, furious red ball of seidr, driving Vision down into the ground.

“Good job you two!” Clint said, jumping to his feet. Loki solemnly handed him his bow and the three of them walked out of the apartment. “Real glad to see everyone working as a team.”

Loki cuffed him on the back of the head.

“We have one more stop to make.”

* * *

Bucky was in the backseat of the shitty blue Beetle that he’d stolen for Steve. He’d been feeling antsy ever since they’d left the safehouse. They’d put the red book into a bag, and Bucky kept looking at the bag, fear clinging to the back of his throat. He remembered some of his time under HYDRA, but he’d been their pawn for 70 years. There was no way to remember it all. Sometimes he wanted to _know,_ wanted to remember all of it, just to know what they’d done to him, everything that it had taken to break him into a mindless automaton. It was almost worse to _not_ know. But if it was all like what he did remember...perhaps he was better off not knowing.

He shifted in the small space and kneed the back of Sam’s seat. Sam’s gaze flickered to him in the rearview mirror and Bucky winced. They’d argued about whether or not Sam should come. Well, Bucky had raised up the question and Sam had gotten pissed, saying that this was as much of his fight as anyone else’s. But Bucky remembered Loki not wanting Steve to go to Asgard in fear of him getting hurt, in fear of Steve finding out some truth about him that made Steve leave him. Look at how that had gone.

He didn’t know what they were going to find in Siberia. Hopefully it would be five dead supersoldiers. Hopefully nothing would happen and Sam wouldn’t be scared of him or get even more pissed or decide they were over. 

“Can you move your seat up?”

Sam didn’t even look at him. “No.”

Great. Just great. He picked up the bag and threw it in the front seat, sliding to the other side of the ridiculously tiny car and crossing his arms.

They both watched as Sharon leaned up and kissed Steve right on the mouth.

“Loki’s gonna be pissed,” Sam said.

“Holy shit,” Bucky breathed out at the same time. “Do we tell him?”

Sam glanced at him in the mirror again. “I’d like to know if it was me,” he informed Bucky.

“They’re kind of broken up,” Bucky replied. 

“If my _boyfriend_ kissed someone else, I’d want to know.”

Bucky looked down at his lap and rubbed his metal hand over the back of his neck, elbow bumping into the car window. They both watched as Steve sternly said something to Sharon, who looked appropriately shame-faced, and then helped him bring all their gear over to the ridiculously tiny trunk of the Beetle. “Your boyfriend, huh?” Bucky said quietly while they watched Steve escort Sharon back to her Audi and open the driver’s side door for her.

Sam turned in his seat. “I’m sorry, alright? I’m an asshole.” 

“We all are,” Bucky tried. “It’s why we get along so well.”

Sam snorted and reached out his hand. Bucky grabbed it and ran his thumb over Sam’s knuckles. “I overreacted. I know that you’re scared shitless of whatever we’re gonna go see. It won’t change anything, I swear. And yeah, I said boyfriend. They have those back in your time?”

Steve watched Sharon’s car drive off and turned back to the car, raising his eyebrows at their positions. “No necking!” he called at them, a bit of a grin on his face. “We got a job to do!”

“Necking,” Sam repeated, and he released Bucky’s hand, turning back around to the front as Steve opened the driver’s side door. “They pulled you outta the ice _four years ago_ and you’re still saying shit like _necking_.”

Steve settled behind the steering wheel and the car groaned under his weight. “Well, what else do you call it?”

“You gonna tell Loki about the kiss?” Bucky interrupted. 

Steve’s fingers white-knuckled around the steering wheel. “Later. Let’s get through this first.”

* * *

Steve’s voice crackled through the phone’s speaker. “You sure you can’t take us there? It’d be faster.”

Loki shook his head and reclined his seat back, kicking his feet up onto the car’s dashboard. Clint rolled his eyes. “Not with the amount of people we have, no. And Bucky does not know the coordinates of the compound, only how to get there. I suppose it was a safe measure on their part, but since he will not allow me into his mind, I have no way to find the location.”

Steve moved the phone away from his mouth and his voice was tinny and distant as he said, “You still don’t want to show him the memory?”

“No one goes inside my head,” Bucky said faintly. “Especially not Loki.”

“Wait, why not?” Clint asked. “He’s in my head all the time.”

“Yeah, and I _saw_ what he did to you!” Bucky exclaimed, and Steve made a frustrated sound and obviously just handed the phone back to him. Bucky’s voice came through clearer and he sighed loudly. “Barton, look, I know you two are close. But you told me he _changed_ you. You have to do what he says.”

“I don’t _have_ to,” Clint started.

“If Loki told you to drive the car you’re in off the road, would you?”

Loki tapped his fingers on his knee when Clint didn’t answer. “Well?”

“Hold on,” Scott Lang said from the backseat, still half-asleep. “Who’s being mind-controlled?”

To his surprise, Loki actually liked Scott. He was a bit unique and over-excited at times, but he was funny and genuine and all it had taken was Clint saying _Captain America needs your help_ and Scott was grabbing his suit and running to the van. 

“Technically no one right now,” Loki replied, turning in his seat to check on Wanda, who was still asleep in the row of seats behind Scott. “Do you wish to be?”

“Is it fun?”

Clint snorted. “Oh, it can be.” He glanced at Loki. “Look, Barnes, I get your hesitation. Hell, if you want, I can be the one to go in your head.”

“No.”

Bucky handed the phone back to Steve. “Alright. We have to go to Germany, then. Sam says there’s a Quinjet we can take. We’ll send you the info, Clint.” He hung up the phone and Loki disappeared his, rolling his eyes.

“Another fight with Captain America in Germany,” he grumbled under his breath. “What is the world coming to?”

Clint grinned.

“Hold on, I thought you were on Cap’s side,” Scott said, sitting up and rubbing at his eyes.

Loki rolled his eyes. “I am. It was an...inside-joke, if you will.”

Scott relaxed and let out a relieved chuckle. “Oh good. I didn’t want to have to punch you.”

Loki bared his teeth in a grin. “I would like to see you try.”

Scott shrugged and lifted up a fist. “Alright…”

Clint kept one hand on the wheel as he reached back and slapped Scott’s hand out of the air. “No punching!”

“You just slapped me!”

“I’ll do a lot worse if you try and punch Loki again,” Clint warned, glancing at Scott in the rearview mirror. “Trust me.”

“What’s Cap want us for, anyway? You think he’ll mind if I call him that? Should I call him Steve?”

“A fight,” Clint said, throwing a look at Loki, who rolled his eyes. 

“I doubt he’ll mind if you call him Cap,” Loki said slowly, a bit of amusement in his voice. “You must, however, not call Sam Wilson by his name. He gets _very_ offended.”

Eyes wide, Scott nodded and agreed. “Just Falcon. Got it. Is there anyone else?”

“My name is Wanda,” she spoke up from the back. “I would prefer it if you call me Madam Maximoff.”

Scott nodded eagerly. “Can do, Madam. I’m just Scott.”

Wanda made an amused sound and then went silent again. Scott turned to look back at her and then gave her a high five. He twisted back around and turned his attention back to Clint and Loki, who were sharing amused looks. “You mind if I take a nap?”

“Oh, feel free,” Loki drawled.

Clint glanced in the rearview as Scott slid down in the van seats, kicking his feet up. _We still have a jet ride and another car ride._

_Oh, I’ll put another sleeping spell on him. Although, he is very amusing._

_Glad you like the guy._ Clint shot him a sidelong glance. _You always seem to collect the strange ones, you know._ He looked back at the road. _So we’re just not mentioning the Tesseract at all? The Tesseract that I used my only boon from the King of Asgard to get? What, you just waiting for Cap to remember it?_

Loki tilted his head at Clint. _If it is not important enough for Steve to mention it, then it is not important enough for me to use it._

Sure, that wasn’t insane or anything. 

Loki reached his hand over and Clint took one hand off the wheel to entangle their fingers. They rode the rest of the way in silence.

On the bench seat behind them, Scott opened his eyes as he turned over onto his side, frowning a bit when he saw Loki and Clint’s hands together in between their seats.

* * *

Their flight from New York to Germany was just over eight hours. Wanda and Scott spent most of the flight sleeping. Clint had to pilot the plane, which wasn’t hard, given that Loki had _influenced_ the mechanic working at the hangar to give them a fairly nice jet with autopilot and all the fixins. Not quite up to how fancy the Quinjets were, but Clint would take what he could get. 

Loki meditated for part of the flight then decided Clint hadn’t been harassed enough in three hours and floated up to the co-pilot’s seat, somehow managing to elegantly slip into the seat and slide his legs under the controls without bumping anything or hitting any buttons. Clint was impressed.

_You look tired._

_I’ve been going for almost thirty hours. You wanna let me catch a bit of shut-eye? Just an hour or so._

Loki regarded him and then waved his hand at the various screens and control panels and levers and raised an eyebrow. _You wish to leave me in charge of all of this?_

Clint shrugged one shoulder. _We both know you wouldn’t jeopardize seeing who’s waiting for us at the other end of this flight._ He leaned back in his seat and closed his eyes and Loki waited until he was almost asleep and then he leaned over and pinched him in the side. Clint tiredly reached out and caught Loki’s hand in his own, twisting their fingers together.

Loki watched the blue sky and the clouds beneath them as they flew by. The Tesseract surely would’ve been faster and far more efficient. However, Steve was making it clear that he no longer cared for Loki as Loki cared for him. If Steve truly cared, he would’ve remembered. He would’ve remembered Loki wanting Balder to marry them, that Clint had been given the Tesseract at the same time. He wouldn’t be fraternizing with Peggy’s niece. Loki had _seen_ the attraction between them. Even back when he and Steve had been living in their apartment in Washington, DC, and Sharon had been their neighbor, Loki had seen the looks between them. He’d merely believed himself worthy of someone else’s affection, someone as kind and powerful and righteous as Steve.

He should’ve known better. He’d known it wasn’t to last, but he wished he could’ve had longer.

Loki looked out over the clouds.

He’d always wanted to be married. Just once. Just to know that someone would love him enough to willingly spend their lives with him because of how much they cared for him.

He supposed such fanciful wishes were for those better and greater than him.

Just once, though. It would have been nice to have been loved by another as much as he loved them.

* * *

Clint stole another van once they made it to Germany and piled all of them in it. They had another hour drive to the airport where the Quinjet was at. Somehow, Scott and Wanda fell asleep again, and when Clint shot Loki a look that was both parts amused and suspicious, Loki merely shrugged and kicked his feet up onto the dash and pulled out his phone to tap through it. Wait, that was Clint’s phone.

_Your wife is in a place called Cedar Rapids. She took your children to something called a zoo?_

_A zoo is like...where wild animals are kept that can’t go back into the wild. They do a lot of conservation work, education, stuff like that. Kids usually think it’s great._

_Ah! A menagerie. Frigga had a royal menagerie in the woods behind the palace. It grew to be fairly well known and she would have visitors from all over the Nine Realms to visit it._

Clint nodded. _She send any pictures?_ Loki held the phone out to him but Clint shook his head. _I’m driving, you idiot._

_Rude!_ Loki took the phone back and swiped through a few screens, and then he threw Clint a sidelong glance. _I could control the vehicle with seidr._

Clint rolled his eyes. _The only time I ever don’t have to be paying constant attention to Your Highness is when I’m driving and now you want to take that away from me? I get this one thing—_

_Norns forbid I wish to make your life easier!_ Loki turned away from him and glared out the window. Great, now Clint almost felt bad.

_Wait,_ Clint realized, _you don’t even know how to fucking drive a car._

You _know how to drive a car, which means I know how to drive a car._

_Pretty sure you have that backwards._

He could see Loki roll his eyes in the reflection of him against the window, could also tell by the way Loki moved his hand through his hair and lifted it off his neck that he was beyond exasperated. God, Clint just loved harassing the shit out of him. He was so easy to rile up. _All the time I have spent in your mind, you are not aware I know everything you know?_

_Bet you couldn’t keep this van from going off the road. You’d wreck it in less than a minute._

Loki turned around in his seat so he was facing Clint. He brought up a ball of seidr in his hand and stretched it out towards the steering wheel.

From behind them, Wanda spoke up, tiredness in her voice, “Are we there yet?”

Loki summoned back his seidr and glared at Clint like it was _his_ fault and looked back through the windshield. Clint would’ve thrown up his hands if he wasn’t driving. 

“‘Bout another twenty minutes,” Clint called back, guessing completely, but Wanda made a satisfied sound and sat up, rubbing at her eyes. “You doin’ alright back there?”

“Just tired,” she said with another yawn. “Feels like I could sleep for a year.”

“I have an energizing potion you could try,” Loki started, but Clint choked and waved a hand at him, trying to slap the words out of his mouth. Loki sent a wave of incredulity his way, but Clint sternly shook his head.

_You _can’t _make her super horny. You can’t. She’s a kid. I get that it would be funny for you, because you’re fucking insane—_

Loki snorted delicately at him. _I was merely attempting to_ help.

_You’ve never wanted to help without being a weird sanctimonious dick._

Loki literally pointed a finger at him. Clint wanted to reach over and bite it off. _I assist you regularly without expecting recompense._

Clint sincerely thought about driving the van off the road. If he hit a tree at the right angle, he’d probably die. His fingers twitched to unbuckle his seatbelt. _You know that doesn’t mean anything, right? You think ‘taking care’ of me is basically the same as, what, brushing your hair? Putting those weird oils in it? You think it’s a little bit enjoyable, but it’s still something you have to do._

Loki crossed his arms over his chest and tucked his feet underneath himself and he thought about that. _I do not dislike taking care of you._

_You really know how to charm a guy, huh?_

Loki curled in on himself even more, somehow managing to twist himself up in a ball in the uncomfortable van seat. Clint saw the sign for the airport and felt a bit of tension ease out of his chest. Loki was always calmer around Cap, even lately. He usually calmed a bit on being antagonistic for no damn reason. Even Steve couldn’t get that out of him completely, but Loki would at least be a little less of an asshole.

He reached out a bit of a mental link between them, keeping one eye on the road and one eye on Loki. They both got rather poorly dispositioned at the same time, and Clint could usually push past it, but he was tired and Loki was tired and they were both just _tired_. Loki’s mind latched onto his and he could feel a bit of the ache around Loki’s heart soften. They were two sides of a coin. 

They pulled into the parking garage for the airport a few minutes later, driving up a few levels and Clint killed the engine after he parked the van. He pulled his aids out of his ears and rubbed at the ache, trying to ignore Loki’s mental comment that he looked like some sort of dog with fleas. 

_If I had fleas, you’d definitely have fleas._

_I do not have fleas!_

Loki handed him a small cloth that smelled like the heill potion, and Clint rubbed it around his ears, sighing in relief when the ache faded. _Should I be worried about being dependent on your potions?_

He turned to look at Loki, who gave him a small shrug, unfolding his legs from the chair and stretching. He took the cloth back from Clint and busied himself with folding it into small squares. _It would take you a very long time to become addicted to any of the potions I use to a point where your body was incapable of healing itself or otherwise being unable to function without them. Healing potions only enhance and accelerate the natural healing process. Similar with pain potions, in that they only accentuate what the body is already capable of._ Loki shot him a bit of a smirk. Clint rubbed at his ears a bit more and then hooked his aids back in, making sure they were seated properly by working his jaw. 

“I feel like I must have said this before,” Wanda said from the back of the van, “but your preferred method of communication with each other is profoundly irritating.”

Loki waved a hand at her and Clint shrugged, turning in his seat to look back at her. “It beats talking,” he replied with a shrug. Wanda sighed. 

Before she could say anything, a tiny, beat-up little VW Bug rattled into a spot a few spaces over from them. Loki took in a deep, shuddering breath and casually waved his hand over his clothes, changing them into more suitable fighting gear that somewhat resembled Clint’s clothes. He kept a long-sleeved black tunic on, but used a copy of Clint’s preferred tactical pants, making his a bit tighter and more form-fitting. He also put on a pair of light black boots, heavy enough to deal serious damage, but light enough that his motion wasn’t impeded.

Clint felt a bit sick looking at him. He knew what Loki was doing. He knew Steve would see Loki basically wearing Clint’s brand and he’d extrapolate from there. But he wasn’t allowed to say anything. Clint just shook his head and sent as much disapproval as he could manage down the mental link, then climbed out of the van, walking around to greet Cap.

“You know I wouldn’t have called…” Steve started, and his attention was diverted by Loki sliding elegantly out of the passenger seat, leaning against the side of the van, arms crossed over his chest, all pale skin and being too damned stubborn and prideful for his own good and Clint knew what Steve saw, because sometimes, he saw the same thing. 

Clint shrugged. Steve’s eyes stayed locked on Loki’s face for a long moment and then he dragged his gaze back to Clint. “You called,” Clint said easily. “That’s all it takes, Cap, you know that.” Wanda came around the van and leaned against the front fender, looking even more uncomfortable than normal.

Steve nodded, like he wasn’t expecting anything different from Clint. “How’s our new recruit?”

Clint turned back to the van and Loki moved his fingers, the van door slamming open with a bang. “He’s good,” Clint said, shooting Loki a small smile. “Might need some coffee in him.”

Scott rubbed at his eyes and Clint helped him out of the van, giving him a small push towards Cap. “We’re in Germany already?” Scott said with a bit of a whine.

“The travel should’ve been instantaneous for you,” Loki drawled, a bit of a smile in his voice. “Given how much you slept.”

Sam stepped up next to Steve, crossing his arms over his chest. Clint felt a bit bristly at that and stood next to Loki, crossing his own arms over his chest. Bucky hung back, leaning on the top of the VW. _How did we not hear that engine screaming from a mile away?_

_Pardon?_ Loki shot him a bit of an amused glance as Scott breathed out Cap’s name and stuck his hand out.

_That poor car had to cart all that man meat around. Ten bucks says it won’t even start again._

Loki shot him a scandalized look. _Man meat!?_

“Captain America!” Scott exclaimed. “Wow, I’m shaking your hand too long!” He turned back to Clint and Loki and pointed at Steve. “That’s Captain America!”

Loki hid his smile by rubbing at his lips with his fingers. 

“You guys are all great!” He told Wanda she was great and then reached out with both hands and clapped Steve on the shoulders. The smile fell off Loki’s face and he turned his head away. “Wow, this is such an honor.” Scott moved back a step and awkwardly rubbed his hands together. “I know you know a lot of super-people, so, I guess...thinks for thanking of me.” Loki almost put his head in his hands. Clint rubbed at his mouth to hide his grin.

Steve cleared his throat and thumbed at Sam. “It was Sam’s idea.”

Sam inclined his head. “Tic-Tac,” he greeted sternly.

Scott stiffened and Clint hid his snicker by rubbing at the back of his neck and pressing his mouth into his elbow. Loki elbowed him in the side. Scott barely restrained from saluting Sam. “Mr. Falcon, sir,” he said stiffly, and then motioned towards Bucky. “Another recruit?”

Both Sam and Bucky snorted. “No,” Sam said. “This is Bucky.” He turned back and motioned Bucky to come forward, but he just shook his head.

Scott waved uncomfortably. “Well, then. Hiya, Bucky.”

“Hello,” Bucky replied lowly.

“They tell you what we’re up against?”

Scott twisted to look back at Clint and Loki and then back at Steve. “I slept most of the way,” he admitted, not really shameful in the slightest. “Something about...psycho-assassins?”

_What on Midgard...psycho-assassins?_

_Maybe he thinks Tony’s psycho,_ Clint mused. _It’s not like he’s wrong._

_Aren’t most of the assassins on our side?_

Clint grimaced. _Well, Nat._ And that sucked. That was something he was really not trying to think about. _Pretty sure that we’ve all got more kills than her though._

Steve didn’t even question whatever nonsense Scott was spouting. “We’re outside the law on this one.” He gave Scott one of those patented _I am Captain America and I will do what’s right regardless of the consequences for me or anyone_ else looks, and then his gaze flickered over Loki, who was doing his damnedest to look like he was bored with the entire situation. “So if you’re with us, you’re a wanted man.”

Scott shrugged. “What else is new?”

Bucky came around the car and glared at all of them. “We should go,” he growled. Clint elbowed Loki in the side, resulting in a scandalized look. 

The intercom crackled overhead and they all looked up. 

“They’re evacuating the airport,” Clint and Bucky said at the same time, and Bucky sent Clint a confused glare. Clint thumbed at Loki and tried to explain with his face that because Loki had Allspeech, it meant he also had Allspeech, and therefore could understand basically any language. Going by the look on Bucky’s face, all Clint had done was serve to confuse him further. 

“Stark,” Sam muttered lowly.

“Stark?” Scott repeated. “_Tony_ Stark?”

Steve looked at Clint, who just shrugged. “Suit up,” he ordered, and turned back to the VW to get his gear.

“Uh...right here?” Scott called out.

“Oh, don’t be such a prude,” Loki said snidely. “Would you like a changing booth? I can enlarge the van for you.”

“Loki,” Steve said tiredly, a bit of that same old fondness in his voice. Loki’s mouth clicked shut and he turned away, busying himself with his phone while everyone else clambered, one at a time, into the van to change. Loki changed Clint’s outfit for him with a wave of his hand and they joined Bucky at the VW after he’d changed. He was wearing a jacket that he’d torn the left sleeve off of for some reason, and Clint kept coming up with funnier and funnier ideas for why he’d done that.

“You good, Barnes?” Clint said lowly. “Ready to punch some assholes?”

Bucky sidled up next to Loki and awkwardly leaned up against him, trying to soak up some comfort where he could. Loki patted him on the shoulder and tipped their heads together for a brief moment. “Steve’s gonna try to get out of telling you something,” Bucky murmured, low enough that Steve couldn’t hear and Clint had to turn up the volume on his hearing aids. “Don’t let him.”

Loki and Clint exchanged curious looks. “Very well,” Loki said, turning to look at Steve climbing out of the van, picking his shield up off the ground after he’d adjusted his uniform. “I thank you for the...warning.”

“Everyone ready?” Steve called, and the three of them separated, turning to Steve. Sam came forward and gave everyone a comms unit, all of them checking to make sure they worked and were on the same channel. Clint dug one of his hearing aids out of his ear to flip the small switch that turned them into communication mode and then slid it back in. Scott looked torn between blindsided and shocked that he was actually on the same team as Captain America. “Alright, I’ll go in first. Clint, you and Wanda up top. Scott, you go with Loki. Buck and Sam, see if you can get to that Quinjet. Loki, you’re with me. Stay behind me until I give the signal.”

They all nodded and Clint and Loki shared one last glance before separating.

* * *

* * *

Steve and Loki both stayed silent while they jogged down the parking structure ramp and then out onto the tarmac. Loki had a thousand things he wished to say, a thousand more regrets, but he kept his mouth shut. There was a helicopter that they could use that Steve pointed out, and Loki skated through the air as Steve ran towards it.

Iron Man and War Machine touched down in front of them. Loki frowned as Steve’s shoulders briefly sunk and then immediately straightened out again. 

Tony spouted out something about meeting people at an airport while Loki paused, making sure Clint and Wanda were in position. He turned his attention back to Steve when he said, “Tony, that doctor, the psychiatrist, is the one behind all of this. We think Thor was helping him or feeding him intel.”

Tony’s suit whirred as he stiffened.

T’Challa leapt over a fueling truck and greeted Steve. “Captain.”

Steve inclined his head. “Your Highness.” He looked back at Tony. “We don’t have to do this, Tony.”

Tony continued speaking like Steve hadn’t said anything. “Ross gave us 48 hours to bring you in. He was going to give us 36 originally, but decided on an extra 12 for your floating boytoy up there.” He motioned angrily to Loki, who was still floating casually a few dozen feet above them. Steve stiffened. “That was 24 hours ago. You thinking about any inclination to help us out?”

“The guy you want is dead,” Steve said tiredly. “There’s still five more super soldiers that we can’t let fall into the wrong hands. Tony, you need to listen to me.”

“Your judgement is askew,” Tony spat. “Your _old war buddy_—”

“I do believe he’s refusing to listen to reason,” Loki drawled from above them, lowering down to he could land lightly next to Steve. 

Tony turned on Loki, but Steve shut that down by stepping bodily in front of him. 

“You know what’s going to happen, Steve,” Natasha said from behind them. “You really want to punch your way out of this one?”

“I don’t have a choice,” Steve bit out, looking back at Tony. “I have to do what’s right.”

Loki floated back up before anyone could say anything to him.

“Okay,” Tony said, “I’m tired of this.” He called for something called an _Underoos?_, which turned out to be a flash of red and blue flipping past them, shooting some kind of substance at Steve’s shield. Loki immobilized it in a web of seidr, floating it up closer to him to frown at it. It seemed to be in the same form as a human, but it was wearing a very strange outfit. “Hey, give him back! He’s mine!” Tony called up at him, suit engaging as he pushed off from the ground. Loki looked at Steve, who didn’t give him any indication of what to do other than frowning. The man in the suit managed to contort enough inside the seidr to shoot some more of that substance at Steve’s hands, binding them together. 

Steve looked at the man in Loki’s seidr and then back at Tony, who was readying his repulsors to shoot them at Loki. “Loki, let him down,” he called up, some of that familiar exasperation in his voice. Loki didn’t bother arguing, merely dropping the figure to the ground, catching him right before he hit. The figure let out a bit of a scream and then seemed to remember himself, awkwardly standing up and waving to everyone.

“Captain America, Loki, I’m a big fan.” He motioned to himself. “Spider-man, by the way.” Tony touched down right next to him but his suit stayed powered up.

“Tony, _listen_, please,” Steve tried, but Tony turned on him.

“No, you listen! Stop being such a big _idiot_ and listen to reason. You dragged in Clint, you pulled Wanda out of somewhere she didn’t even want to leave, brought Bruce back into the mix, dragged Loki off Asgard or wherever he was. You’re tearing the Avengers apart, Cap.”

Steve lifted his chin. “You did that by signing the Accords.”

“This could’ve all been avoided if everyone had teamed together,” Loki pointed out, “and not signed the Accords.”

Rhodey brought up an arm and shot a repulsor blast in Loki’s direction, which he swiftly avoided.

“Last chance,” Tony spat. “You turn Barnes over, you come with us, because it’s _us,_ or Ross sends his guys after you.”

Steve sighed and looked at each of them.

“Found the Quinjet,” Sam’s voice crackled through the comms. “Hangar five.”

Steve raised his bound hands and Clint loosed an arrow. Loki opened his fist and Scott, being only the side of one of his fingernails, jumped down from it and grew in size as he grabbed Steve’s shield away from Spider-man, handing it back to Steve. 

“I believe this is yours, Captain America.”

“Mr. Lang.”

“God, this is cool,” Scott whispered.

Tony and Rhodes rose up into the air as they began scanning the surrounding area. “I got two in the parking garage, and Barnes and Wilson are in the terminal.”

“I have Barnes,” T’Challa called as he raced towards the terminal, but Steve threw his shield, and Loki joined in on the fight, wrapping T’Challa in a blanket of seidr. He quickly clawed his way out but it was enough of a distraction for Steve to try and talk him down.

“Bucky didn’t kill your father!” Steve called. “The man who did is dead.”

T’Challa snarled at them and leapt into the air, snagging his claws on Loki’s pants and trying to drag him down. Loki let him and then wrapped T’Challa in another wrap of seidr, causing the King to roar out in frustration. 

“You will wear yourself out faster than it will take to tire me,” Loki remarked, doing it again when T’Challa managed to rip through his seidr. “I cannot allow you to hurt someone who is innocent of the crime they are being accused of.” He motioned for Steve to go help Scott, but Steve jumped up into the air and threw his shield at T’Challa, who had managed to get free from Loki’s seidr once again. Loki raised an eyebrow at him and smirked.

The two of them turned as they heard explosions from the far end of the tarmac. Steve glowered. “He’s using missiles on civilians,” Steve bit out. 

“Not missiles, Captain,” T’Challa ground out, clawing his way out from Loki’s seidr. “Fugitives.”

“One of those _fugitives_ is being targeted because she was experimented on by HYDRA,” Loki pointed out, crossing his legs and resting his chin on his hand as his free hand worked to continue wrapping T’Challa in more and more seidr. “The other fugitive is officially retired from active duty and is nothing more than a citizen, as he does not use any advanced technology, nor is he enhanced in any way. Technology, I might add, which is very similar to that suit of yours.” He glanced at Steve. “Very interesting to _me,_ as royalty from another realm, that the government of this country would authorize such deadly force on its citizens.”

T’Challa’s mask turned away from them, which was the opportunity Loki was looking for. He hardened the seidr around the King and then dropped him to the ground, lowering a seidr box over him that would render him immobile. Loki was certain he’d be able to claw his way out soon enough, but it would take time.

He and Steve both turned as War Machine flew closer, pulling some kind of weapon out from the back of his suit. He leapt up into the air and came down on Steve, who raised his shield, which took the brunt of the blow. The impact broke Rhodey’s weapon, which he threw to the side, and then Steve leapt up, kicking the suit out of the air. Loki pinned him down with seidr and then floated over to see Tony land in front of Clint and Wanda. His attention was distracted by watching Scott and Natasha fight, and he watched as a miniaturized Scott managed to throw Nat down and then she zapped him with her Widow Bites. So very resourceful, that one. It was with a bit of regret that Loki pinned her down with seidr as well.

Scott joined them, running behind Steve as Wanda used her powers to pull a bunch of cars down on top of Tony. They all ran towards each other and joined up, Scott pointing out the Quinjet in the far hangar.

Loki frowned as he floated behind the running group.

_Battles on your Realm are generally easy, but that was...boring. I did not even break a sweat._

Clint did some kind of jump and a skip so that he was running backwards. He peered up at Loki. _Do you even sweat? I don’t think I’ve seen you sweat._

Loki scowled. _Look where you are going._ Clint dropped into a backwards roll and popped up onto his feet, running the same direction as everyone else. The only person who seemed to notice was Scott, who was probably throwing him an impressed look under his mask. _I do not enjoy when my opponents go easy on me._

Of course, that was when Vision showed up. For a big robot, he was really fucking dramatic.

“Captain Rogers,” he began, but Loki conjured up a big seidr hammer and hit him out of the sky.

“Hey, good distance!” Scott yelled. “You almost got him over the whole terminal!”

They all started running again, but stopped when Iron Man and War Machine landed in front of them, lowering Natasha and T’Challa down to the ground. Behind them came Spider-man and Vision.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Excuse me for a moment,” he called down, and once he had everyone’s attention, he disappeared in a flash of green light.

“Did he just…” Tony started, pointing up at where Loki had been.

Steve grimaced and tightened his grip on his shield. “He’ll be back,” he grit out.

“Oh, he’ll be _right_ back,” Clint said, a smile creeping over his face, and he moved out of the way as Loki reappeared in front of him, Bruce Banner dangling from one hand. “We got a Hulk!”

The Hulk roared and charged.

Fighting on Midgard was boring. The weapons were all small, and if they were big, they were explosion-based. It was easy to contain the blast and let it burn itself out. Loki had already shielded everyone on Steve’s side of the battle, so he spent the first part of the fight using seidr to pluck the various enemies out of their chosen battle and fling them through the air. He enjoyed watching Tony try to recalibrate his systems when he was plummeting back to earth. Not that Loki would’ve let him hit. He just would’ve let him come very close.

T’Challa was...very annoying. Even after being told insistently that Bucky had not killed his father, he still went after the man with a dogged determination that would’ve been admirable on someone who was not against them and their chosen cause. So Loki took a bit of joy in watching him leap from a pile of boxes down onto Bucky and plucking him out of the air right before he was about to make contact. It turned the King’s ire onto Loki, which made for a much more interesting fight.

Loki conjured his staff, landing lightly on the tarmac as T’Challa raced for him, sparks shooting off his claws where they landed on the ground. T’Challa leapt for him and Loki smiled a bit, spinning his staff and hitting the King in the side. “I meant what I said earlier,” Loki called to him, watching as T’Challa picked himself up off the ground. “A King should be careful what the governments of other countries do to their citizens. They will come for you next.”

“What could you know?” T’Challa spat.

Loki shrugged and let him get a swipe in, three claws digging deep into his arm. They actually punctured his flesh, and he watched blood rise and spill with a faint sense of amusement. The wounds did their job, as Clint immediately turned from firing arrows at Tony to firing them at T’Challa, who had to pay attention to snatching arrows out of midair instead of Loki casting illusionment charms on Steve and Bucky, who were still running towards the hangar. “You are King of a country with advanced technology,” Loki noted, rising in the air. “A King who leaves his country to fight a man who was framed for murder.” He shook his head disapprovingly and turned around to spin his staff to deflect one of Tony’s repulsor blasts. “A poor King.” He tutted and then held his hand out as T’Challa turned on him and roared.

Mjolnir soared into his hand and Loki turned on his heel to throw it at Tony, summoning the weapon back so Tony crumpled to the ground. Something was going on with his suit, and a moment later, it flooded with some kind of gas, and a miniscule Ant-Man appeared out of it, becoming human-sized a moment later, panting loudly through his mask.

Clint ran up to them and pointed an arrow at the back of T’Challa’s head. “See that hammer?” he bit out. “I wouldn’t want to be pinned under it if I were you.” T’Challa spun around and sliced Clint’s arrow in half. Clint eyed it mournfully for a moment before snapping his bow into his bowstaff. “We haven’t met yet. I’m Clint.”

“I don’t care.” T’Challa jumped on him, but Loki caught him in midair, wrapping seidr around him. “I am growing very tired of this trick of yours, witch!” T’Challa yelled at him, and Loki offered him a shrug, turning his head as Steve and Sam’s voices crackled over the comms.

“Vision is headed your way. I’ll head him off—”

“No, Steve,” Sam cut in. “You two get outta here.” He was flying up ahead, and he turned back on himself, obviously looking down at the battlefield beneath him. “Wherever you are, get outta here.”

“You know how much I hate it when Sam is right,” Clint interjected, snapping his bowstaff into his bow and quickly restringing it, firing off arrows at War Machine above them. “If we’re gonna win this, then some of us are going to have to lose.”

“Can someone give us a diversion? It’s gonna need to be big.” Redwing zipped past them and shot a small missile at Iron Man, who had done some sort of field repair and was flying again. “Cap, this isn’t the real fight.”

Loki inclined his head at the hangar where he knew the Quinjet was. “Captain, we do not know who else the information was given to. Thor could’ve known about the other soldiers. He could’ve told others.”

“I can do something big,” Scott interjected, holding his hand up to his ear even though he was still wearing a mask and didn’t need to. “Can’t hold it very long, though. If I tear myself in half...just leave me there, I guess. Maybe a healing spell or something?”

Loki and Clint watched in amazement as Scott muttered “I’m the boss” to himself sixteen times and then suddenly grew to the size of a building.

“I am impressed!” Loki called up to him. “That is a very hard thing to do!”

“I impressed you last week with blueberry pancakes,” Clint yelled over to him. 

“They were very good pancakes,” Loki replied stiffly, and with a smile, he summoned Mjolnir to his hand and raised his staff and leapt up into the air, flying behind Sam and War Machine. He took note of Hulk and Wanda fighting Natasha and Vision, and went to join the fight, but not before turning back and throwing Mjolnir at Tony one last time. Tony let out a yell as he tried to right himself, and Mjolnir crashed to the ground. Tony shot a repulsor blast at Loki, who easily dodged it, and he shrugged to himself and turned back, summoning a blast of seidr at the tip of his spear. 

He kept an eye on the very huge Ant-Man as he fought with Tony, who was growing increasingly frustrated as Loki casually countered his attacks. 

In the distance, they heard Hulk roar.

Loki smiled at Tony.

“Do you still consider yourself on the right side?” Loki said slowly with a smile, turning his head as the Hulk thundered for them. He’d known that Vision and Wanda would pit themselves against each other, and Natasha wouldn’t be able to stop herself from trying to calm the Hulk down. But the Hulk would see Vision as an enemy, and the Hulk would grow more and more furious that all of his punches were phasing through the robot. So, it was only a matter of time.

Tony lowered himself to the ground and said something into his suit, but the Hulk smashed into him. Spider-man shot down and shot more of his substance at the Hulk, attaching his hand to the tarmac for a brief moment before he pulled free.

Hulk went after Spider-man as the Quinjet lifted out of the hangar and flew past them.

Iron Man and War Machine were on its tail, and Loki and Sam followed behind.

Loki watched it happen in slow motion, as Sam tucked out of the way of the blast that ended up catching War Machine in the chest, rendering his suit inoperable. Loki caught him as he fell and lowered him to the ground, landing next to him at the same time Tony did. 

Behind them, Sam landed, wincing at the readouts Tony’s suit was giving them. “Man, I’m sorry.”

Tony lifted his hand and shot Sam in the chest with a repulsor blast, throwing him back.

“Wait—” Loki said, before a repulsor blast hit him in the face.

* * *

Clint woke up in prison. It wasn’t for the first time, but he could tell already that something was different about this one. His damn ears hurt again. He rubbed at them while he sat up. There was a pair of clunky hearing aids on the small table across from the crappy bed, and he hooked them in, wincing at the feedback before they adjusted. Immediately, he realized the strange pressure he felt was that they were underwater, and also that Loki was unconscious. Fuck.

“Barton?” Sam’s voice called. “You hearing us?”

He cleared his throat and picked up a plastic glass from next to the sink, filling it with water and drinking it down before speaking. “Coming in loud and clear, Wilson. Why are we underwater?”

“Is that what that feeling is?” Scott’s voice came from the cell on Clint’s other side. “It just feels like pressure but I thought maybe we were on top of a mountain.”

“You ever been on top of a mountain, man?” Sam asked. Clint finished off the glass and then pressed his thumbs to it, trying to feel for any weak spots as he looked out into the common area of the cells. They were the only occupants of the cells. If he pressed his head to the plastic keeping him in, he could see Wanda in the furthest cell, sitting forlornly on her bed, a strange collar around her neck. He winced. On the other side was Bruce, who was still passed out, and he was wearing a different kind of collar, this one with green lights instead of red. Hey, at least they were keeping with everyone’s color combos. That was important. Clint looked down at his blue shirt and frowned. Well, maybe not everyone. 

Scott and Sam continued arguing. Clint debated pulling out his aids but then shrugged. He closed his eyes and focused on where Loki was. Whatever could knock out Loki for this long was definitely something that counted as grave danger, so he figured he was justified in just vanishing out of his cell.

He closed his eyes and _pulled._

Clint peeked an eye open when nothing happened.

He could _feel_ the blood drain out of his face.

Oh fuck.

* * *

When Bruce Banner landed in the Sanctum Sanctorum, he’d had no idea what to expect. That was something he was familiar with, but he didn’t really like it. He’d talked to David Drumm, who almost kicked him out but Bruce managed to convince him to go find the Ancient One to see if she’d talk to him. 

When she’d come through a portal almost an hour later, Bruce hadn’t even needed to explain anything to her. She already knew everything he was going to say. 

She offered him a place to stay, which was more than he ever would’ve expected. The Ancient One had shown him a room, made some off-handed comment about not letting Loki see where he slept, and then had immediately dived into a conversation about time travel. 

Theoretically, it was possible. 

Theoretically, everything was possible. 

The purpose of the Sorcerer Supreme and the Master of the Sanctum were twofold: to keep their knowledge safe, and to guard the Eye of Agamotto with their lives. The Eye was the Time Stone, which Bruce had figured out pretty quickly. He hadn’t even needed to be told. It’d taken at least one of his PhD’s to figure that one out. 

The Ancient One explained to him that Infinity Stones created the passage of time, which Bruce had privately thought to be a load of hooey, but he wasn’t going to say that in front of the woman who carried one and could probably use it to turn him into a baby or something. She’d immediately gone off on a tangent about the Norn Stones, which were also exceedingly powerful, and how Thor and Frigga had harnessed their power to essentially incarcerate Loki in a time loop. She continued to explain how the Norn Stones were a bit more mecurial than the Infinity Stones, and often changed Loki’s behavior or personality, and also assisted in Thor’s mind being warped. Not that the guy was faultless for his behavior, of course. He was evil. But maybe the Norn Stones hadn’t agreed with his insane plan of killing Loki whenever he acted out and had just twisted Thor up and spit him out. Bruce didn’t know who Frigga was but the Ancient One had assured him she was dead as well. 

So they hadn’t been lying about Thor being evil. That was good to know. Good thing he was dead. Again, Bruce really did try to stay out of other people’s business. He had enough of his own to deal with. 

To his surprise, he had felt the Hulk moping around in the back of his mind as the Ancient One spoke about the atrocities enacted against Loki. For some reason, the Hulk liked Loki. 

So when Loki had appeared in the middle of the Sanctum, saying his presence was needed in battle, both Bruce and Hulk had been in immediate agreement. 

Waking up on the Raft, however, wasn’t so great. Him, in a big underwater prison? Super not great. 

His hands went immediately to his neck, and the strange collar there. He could feel that it was a bit warm, and when he closed his eyes, he couldn’t feel the Hulk. Not like he was used to. It was more that the Hulk was being some kind of plexiglass or something. Whatever this collar was doing to him, he needed to get it off and fast. 

One of the doors outside his cell wheezed open and Bruce dropped his hands from his neck, pushing to his feet and slowly making his way over to the cell window. It was made out of some kind of shatter-resistant plastic, very thick, and it was reinforced on the outside with heavy horizontal bars. He looked over at the other occupants of the cell pod and sighed. 

Scott, Clint, Sam, Wanda. 

His back stiffened when Ross’s voice came through the open door, the tall man striding through, a few agents behind him. Piercing eyes looked at each of them, not staying on any one of them particularly long, not even Bruce. “Are you proud of yourselves?” Ross said snidely.

“What was that?” Clint yelled. “I’m deaf as hell! Hey, can we get an interpreter down here? I know my rights.”

Ross’s eyes tightened. “You were given hearing aids that matched the level of deafness in your medical files. And you, as a fugitive of the U.S. government, are only given the rights that are afforded to you.”

From what Bruce could see, Clint fucking grinned at Ross. “Oh, isn’t that interesting,” Clint drawled, and Sam slowly said his name. “See, I’m not a U.S. citizen. I’m Asgardian.” He bared his teeth in a nasty smile. “Your recon didn’t tell you that, did it? You’re currently holding an Asgardian prince and his personal guard under Accords that don’t even apply to either of us. I can promise you that whatever you think you got, whatever firepower or ammo or, hell, missiles, it won’t be enough. And I can tell that your recon _did_ tell you that Loki and I have to be close. So I know he’s within a few feet of me. I will claw my way through this walls with my bare hands if I have to, if that’s what it takes.” Clint spread his hands out to his sides. “So, Secretary Ross, your fucking move.”

Bruce slammed his fist into the plastic separating himself and Ross, who visibly jumped. “I told you,” Bruce snarled. “You don’t get away with this.”

With that, Ross clearly had nothing left to say, and he swept out of the room. Bruce sat back down on his shitty bed and put his head in his hands. 

From the cell next to him: “Barton, since when did you know so many words?”

* * *

He’d forgotten how boring prison could be. They were fed twice a day, taken out to use the bathroom three times a day, and everyone else got half an hour of ‘yard time’. Sam had told him it was a cell down the hallway that had manufactured sunlight. Wherever it was, it was out of the sphere of ten or so feet where Clint couldn’t get to Loki. It hadn’t seemed like a problem at the time. Somehow Ross knew that they could only teleport to each other if they were further than ten feet away. It had to be Thor, of course, but Clint had no idea how that asshole would’ve known. The only other person who would know was Bucky, and Clint was as assured of Bucky’s loyalty as he was of anyone else’s.

He was trying to figure out if he could turn one of his aids into a tiny taser when Sam spoke up, his voice a bit subdued, “Since when are you not human?”

Clint glanced up at the camera in his cell and the other cameras outside in the pod and then shrugged. “Never said I wasn’t human. I’m just a citizen of Asgard now. I belong to Loki, so I’m whatever race he is.” He thought about that for a second. “Guess I’m like, half frost giant then.”

“You know, I never asked,” Sam trailed off, and Clint angled himself so that he could hear better out of the ear with the actual aid in it. He wasn’t some kind of genius like Stark or Banner, so he was probably frying the aid. It would be super cool if it worked, through. Maybe he could market it. “How weird is it, to belong to a god?”

“He’s not actually a god,” Clint pointed out. “Just smarter, faster, better at everything, more resilient, and more powerful than us. Demi-god, maybe. But I dunno, man. People like asking me that and I never know what to say. It’s fine. It’s kind of like...he _knows_ me, alright? There isn’t a single thing he doesn’t know. I tried explaining it to Nat once that he owns every single molecule of me, soul and all. But it’s kind of like...you ever read about soulmates? How you look at someone and just _know_ they’re yours? It’s like that but forever.”

“Dude, aren’t you married?” Scott asked, and Clint chuckled, shaking his head. 

“Sure am, bud. Still think she’s holding out for Loki wanting me for sex stuff and that he’d let her join in.”

“Wait,” Scott said, and he moved around in his cell. “You’re _not_ doing sex stuff with Loki?”

“Oh my god,” Sam whispered loudly. 

“Uh, no,” Clint replied slowly. “Just because we mind-melded doesn’t mean I suddenly find his whole thing of looking like he hasn’t showered in a month attractive. My type was always big buff dudes who could top the hell out of me. Loki would probably start crying halfway through.” He thought about that. “Loki and I kind of have the same taste in men, actually.”

“Oh my god,” Sam repeated. Clint wondered if he’d broke the guy.

“You were holding hands! In the van!” Scott exclaimed. 

“We do that all the time,” Clint shot back, a bit bewildered. “Physical contact is grounding. Hands are easiest. Don’t you just…” He trailed off, trying to remember if it was humans or Aesir that held hands with their friends. Contextually, it was probably Aesir, if Scott was interpreting something like holding hands so incorrectly. It just seemed a bit ridiculous to get wound up over. He sighed and shook his head, trying to toss the thoughts out. He had bigger worries right now. 

“Hope Buck’s okay,” Sam said into the awkward quiet. Clint nodded in agreement even though Sam couldn’t see him. 

“He’ll be alright,” Scott assured him. “He’s with Captain America.”

“That’s what I’m worried about,” Sam sighed. 

Clint took out his other hearing aid to compare the wiring on them, taking a seat at the tiny desk in the cell and bending over the aids. Yeah, he was probably messing it up super bad. He’d just tell the Warden or whoever that he’d stepped on it or something. A really tiny taser would be super cool though. 

He reached out for Loki again and winced when there was still nothing. The god had been unconscious for a good while and was still within ten feet of him. Clint took in a deep breath to calm himself down. He hadn’t been kidding when he’d told Ross that he’d claw his way out if he had to. 

After fiddling with the aids for another few minutes, he decided to give it up. He slipped both of them back into his ears after turning them on, and they worked well enough. It wasn’t like any of the guards were ever close enough to him for him to use a small taser on him anyway. He just felt naked without a weapon.

* * *

Clint laid back on the bed and rested his hands behind his head and sighed. 

“Hey, Barton?”

“Yeah?”

“Why didn’t your uniform have a left sleeve on it?”

Clint snorted and sat up. “You want the long version of the short version?”

He could hear Sam make a deliberating noise. “Well, I feel like both of your versions are the long version, and it ain’t like I’m pressed for time, so the long version.”

“Can’t believe you just asked him to talk _more,_” Scott groused from his cell. 

Clint grinned. “So, you know how Loki isn’t real courteous?”

“That’s a nice way of putting it,” Sam replied, a bit of a smile in his voice.

“Sure it is. Anyway, he never bought Barnes any clothes. Not sure he’s even aware that clothes are a thing you can buy. Just conjured stuff up for him that would disappear after a couple days. He gave Barnes some tunics and stuff, and Barnes managed to steal more stuff, but he only had a couple outfits that were really his by the time he made it to my house. I didn’t realize it right away, but he started looting my closet. Once I figured it out, I told him he could have whatever he wanted. Not like it mattered to me. He started pushing up the sleeves of all the sweatshirts and hoodies he was taking out of my closet, and I finally asked him about it. He said that certain materials would get caught in the plates of his arm and that it would set off the pressure sensors and it would hurt.” Clint thought about that for a moment. “No, not hurt. But uncomfortable. Anyway, I told him to just take the sleeves off. I had to actually do it for him the first time before he was comfortable enough to do it himself. So, yeah, he’d gotten hold of my uniform at one time and taken the sleeve off. I hadn’t realized when I’d packed it.”

He could hear Sam sigh. “It took you that long to say ‘Bucky borrowed it and returned it without a sleeve’.”

Clint laughed. “You said you wanted the long version, man! Just here to please.”

They were all quiet for awhile.

A tickle grew in the back of Clint’s mind and he reached out for Loki. There was still no response but Clint could feel _something_. He sat up and frowned, closing his eyes and searching. Scott and Sam were talking, with Bruce chiming in every so often, and Clint took his hearing aids out, letting himself sink down and walk up between the bond connecting his mind to Loki’s. It wasn’t closed, exactly, but it was shuttered. Like looking through fogged glass. 

He could step in, but there wasn’t anything for him to see. There was nothing he could do to help. He couldn’t wake Loki up, he couldn’t spring him from whatever poison they’d put in him, he couldn’t _do_ anything. Clint was as imprisoned in Loki’s mind as he was in the Raft.

He put his head in his hands, rubbing the heels of his palms over his eyes. He tried pulling himself to Loki again, but it was useless. They should’ve set up some failsafe on top of that, some tattoo or brand on his skin that would take him somewhere safe, no matter what. 

Clint didn’t know how long it was, how much later, when Loki’s eyes opened.


	3. PART 3

His own name awoke him. For a moment, he did not recognize it, and then he remembered: he was Loki. He was Loki and he was in some manner of chair and he was bound to it. But he was being called and there was nothing pinning his hands or keeping him from using his seidr, so he steadied himself and brought the Tesseract forth.

_You comin’ for me?_

The voice in his head surprised him and it paused him in activating the Tesseract to take him to the voice that summoned him. Loki frowned. He knew that voice.

The voice grew strangely concerned. _Boss, you know me. It’s Clint. I’m yours._

Oh, yes. Clint. He sighed. Clint. Clint who was his. 

_Where are you?_ Loki asked, tipping his head to look around the dark room. He was in a strange type of chair, reclined nearly all the way back, with strange metal straps holding him down. They were easy enough to break, which was strange, as he could not imagine what held him there. He sat up and rubbed at his left arm, which was oddly sore. He looked down and could see no damage except for a small dot of dried blood.

He rubbed the blood away and turned in his seat, still keeping careful hold of the Tesseract. There was a strange device attached to the chair, some manner of device that went around his head. He brushed his fingers over his aching forehead and winced.

Clint swore in the back of his mind. Loki felt a strange sensation of being tugged or pulled at, but it resulted in nothing. He tore at the metal bindings with his free hand and painfully staggered to his feet, stretching out aching muscles and glancing around the strange dark room he’d been housed in. 

_Are we under water?_ Loki asked Clint.

_Yeah. Tesseract should still work, though. Hey, show me the chair you were in._

Loki blinked and stepped away from it, grabbing onto a...computer? Was that a computer? For support as he obliged, looking down at the chair. Something about it was familiar. Had he seen one before?

Clint swore again. _So that’s how they kept you unconscious,_ he said thoughtfully. _How bad is your headache?_

_I am being summoned,_ Loki said instead, hearing his name once again. He looked down at the strange, simple clothes he was in, and with a flick of seidr, changed into more traditional Aesir clothes of heavy black and green leather. His boots were heavier than his body was used to. _Stay where you are. I will call you to me if I need you._

He activated the Tesseract before Clint could say anything and he went to where he was summoned.

Loki landed in a small, strange ship. He put away the Tesseract as he landed, so that his means of transport was not seen. The ship was familiar and unfamiliar at the same time. He frowned a bit. This was no Aesir ship, but he knew he was not upon Asgard. It was Midgard technology. He looked at the two men. For a moment, they were both strangers to him. He inclined his head when they both turned their heads to look at him. The more familiar one had long, brown hair, and a haunted look upon his face. He felt like kin. His left arm was made of a strange material, and after a minute of examining his face, Loki remembered his name: Bucky.

The one piloting the ship was dressed in a blue uniform with a grey star on his chest, with red accents over his chest and down his legs, and he was strangely handsome. Loki frowned at him as he caught his balance as the strange ship trembled in the air. He did not know this man, but his name...there was a C somewhere in his name. Was this Clint? 

He sat next to the blue-uniformed man and looked out through the windshield.

“Loki,” the man said, a bit of relief in his voice. “You’re here. You good?”

So this man knew him. He turned his head to look at Bucky, who also seemed to know him. He inclined his head to the man. “I am well,” he said finally. “How do you fare?” He asked in kind, because he did not know these two men. 

Thor must have loaned him out once again. He wondered what his mission was, where his brother was.

He could hear Clint in the back of his mind. Loki turned inward to focus on him. Oh, his head ached something fierce. He felt tired beyond measure, but if Thor had sent him with these men, these humans, he would do as asked. 

_Oh, fuck,_ Clint was thinking, on the verge of panic. 

The man and Bucky both shot him strange looks, and then the man’s face softened, just a bit, in something Loki would be hesitant to call fondness. Did this man know him? Had he been loaned out to him before? Loki frowned. Surely he would remember…

_You know both of them,_ Clint said finally. _Bucky and...fuck. I can’t tell you his name._ He sighed and it was trembling and tear-stricken. _You fucking forbade me from talking about him to you, and now I can’t tell you his name._

Loki frowned. _I know him?_ He looked at the man in blue, who turned his head to look back at him. He was rather handsome. Loki surely would not have forgotten a man so handsome.

“May I see the stone which summoned me?” Loki asked, keeping his tone as polite and cool as he could manage. The man shrugged and dug through one of the pouches on his belt, gloved fingers digging out a sapphire, obligingly handing it over. Loki took the stone and held it up, seidr slipping around it.

It was the same shade as the man’s eyes.

How very peculiar.

His frown deepened. There was no trace of Thor’s seidr upon this stone. Had he given this of his own will to this man? He did not understand. Why would he give a summoning stone to a Midgardian? To a man that he could not even remember?

Loki handed the stone back before he could convince himself not to, and the man sent him a look that was between confused and concerned, but Loki paid him no mind. He looked around the small ship. There was a shield resting near a hatch, red and white and blue with a star in the center, a shield that Loki had seen before, but he knew not where.

He glanced around and his gaze landed upon Bucky, who was watching him with soft, dark eyes. It was Loki’s instinct to reach out a tendril of seidr towards him, but Clint’s voice in his mind stopped him.

_Yeah, he doesn’t like it when you do that._

Loki paused. Since when had he done things merely because others did not like it?

_When they’re your friends, dumbass. Leave his mind alone._

Loki turned his gaze to the glass in front of them, the only material separating them from the clouds. He clasped his hands in his lap and crossed his legs. His head ached so. A wave of tiredness struck him, but he shook it away. If this was a quest Thor had set him upon, failure was not an option.

_There’s a pocket dimension with healing potions in it, just to your left. Your hands know how to open it. It is at the height of your elbow right now._

Loki reached out for it, eyes widening a bit when his fingers brushed over the seidr-pocket. He had never had a hidden dimension in this place before. But his fingers knew how to open it, and he reached in, slowly and cautiously, only to brush against a potion bag. He pulled it out, some tension in his shoulders loosening when he opened it to see a wide variety of potion vials. He took a sip of heill and the ache in his head slowly ceased, as did an ache between his shoulder-blades, as well as the discomfort in his left arm. He glanced at the two humans, neither of which seemed bothered by his actions, and quickly capped and sent the bag of potions back into the pocket dimension, vanishing it when he was finished.

_How did you know?_

Clint was quiet for a minute, clearly thinking.

Loki regarded the unfamiliar man in blue. If this was Clint, surely he could have said the location of the dimension out loud? Surely there was no reason to keep it secretive? Both of his compatriots were Midgardians; they could not access a pocket dimension, no matter how hard they tried. That thought seemed to bring a bit of amusement from Clint, but he refused to admit why. 

Instead, Clint told him, _I know what you know, and I know what you forgot. We’ve been bound for a good few years, you and I._

Ah. Interesting.

_Are we married?_

Clint’s loud, frenetic amusement answered that question for him. Loki sighed to himself. He could not understand the purpose of such a bond if they were not married. Clearly they were also not engaged, going by Clint’s reaction. He studied the face of the man next to him. No amusement shone in his eyes or in the turn of his mouth. Whoever this man was, he was not Loki’s Clint.

Loki looked out over the clouds.

“How’s Barton?” Bucky asked.

“He is well,” Loki replied, a few beats too late. “He is in a prison, and is mightily unhappy over it.”

He wondered what Clint had done to be imprisoned, if this man and Bucky had done the same thing. Surely Loki was not aiding fugitives. Would Thor really have sent him on a quest to help criminals? He sighed to himself. Well, if the price for his services was well enough, Thor would surely send him anywhere.

Behind him, Bucky snorted. “Yeah, can’t imagine he would be.”

“Tell him we’re coming for him,” the unfamiliar man said. “My people don’t stay behind bars.”

Loki relayed such information and smirked at Clint’s response. “He wishes you would stop taking your, quote, ‘sweet old time’, unquote. I believe he is displeased with his accommodations.”

The man threw him a strange look but spoke no further.

Their trip to the landing zone was silent enough. Loki had nothing to say. If Thor wanted him on this mission, he would complete it. There was no other option. He would do as ordered of him and then he would find Clint and demand answers for the questions growing in his mind.

The ache in his mind was back, throbbing right behind his eyes.

Loki followed the unfamiliar man and Bucky out of the strange plane. He watched as the unfamiliar man picked up the shield and Bucky picked up two weapons that he recognized as guns. He looked up and glanced over the dark sky, wondering when Thor would arrive. Hopefully it would be soon. Something ached in his soul, something in his heart crying out, and only his brother could soothe him, send away his worries. He wondered how long he had been given to these strange men. He could feel that he had not been properly taken to heel in quite some time. His seidr was not suffering as badly as he would have expected, however. He frowned. He missed his brother. 

_God, this is gonna be so funny when you figure your shit out._

Loki did not dignify that with a reply. 

He watched Bucky and the man argued over how to open the locked doors to the compound they were at. What on Midgard where they doing here? He wished his mission parameters had been outlined to him. He did not enjoy when Thor sent him on missions where he had to figure out his duties while also trying to keep himself and his new compatriots or owners alive. 

His heart ached. Oh, how he missed his brother. For whole else could his heart tremble for? For who else could his soul ache for? He looked to the sky again. Where was he? Where was Thor?

_Is my brother with you? Is that why he does not come for me?_

Loki’s mouth opened to call for Thor, but the unfamiliar man called for him before he could say anything. Loki inclined his head and stepped over to them. 

“Open this,” the unfamiliar man asked of him, pointing to a strange lock with numbers on the buttons. 

Loki nodded and rested a hand on the strange lock, slipping seidr into it, figuring out the system that disengaged the massive doors. It was easy enough, merely a few minutes work, and he stepped back, shaking the seidr tingles out of his hand as the unfamiliar man and Bucky pulled the doors open and walked inside. 

_How about we just don’t talk about Thor any more? Just do that for me, would you?_

Loki paused and frowned. _You do not like Thor._

The unfamiliar man called his name and he went, walking down the long hall to an open room, filled with peculiar machines. There was a chair in the middle of the room, remarkably similar to the one he had woken up in. Where were they? What were they doing here?

_No, guy has never been my favorite. We have some big differences in ideals and morals, which is a funny thing for me to say, but it’s true._

Loki strode up to the strange chair, clasping his hands behind his back as he peered at it. The part that went over the occupants head was different than the one in the chair he had woken up in, but not by much. The restraints on this one were heavier, perhaps more difficult to break. 

“Loki!” the unfamiliar man barked. “Get away from that.” Loki obliged, stepping back and turning his gaze towards the strange machines. Were there people in the machines? Yes. Midgardians were so _odd_. 

_Are you in one of these machines?_ he asked Clint, who snorted. _Does Thor hold you for ransom? Is that why you are in prison and I am not? Are you returned to me if I successfully complete the mission?_

_How about this: I’m in prison, but not because of Thor. Well, it’s kind of because of Thor, but he’s not holding me here. You do what Buck and...that guy tell you to do, and you get me back when you’re done. Sound good?_

_You are certain we are not married?_

Clint laughed again. _Pretty sure we’re not. I’m married to someone else. I’m just yours._

“We’re going to defrost the soldiers, one at a time,” the strange man told him. Loki nodded. “I need you to incapacitate them until we can call for backup.”

“What backup?” Bucky hissed. “No one is coming for us. We’re criminals.” Loki watched as his mouth formed a word, perhaps a name, but his mind fuzzed out, and he could not hear it. He wished very badly to know this unfamiliar man’s name. He wondered if they were important to each other. “You don’t understand, #####. Loki can hold them, I believe it, but they’re too dangerous. Rehabilitation isn’t an option with these guys. You can’t even comprehend how dangerous I’m talking. They used these Soldiers to wipe out _countries_. Even one of them gets out of whatever rehabilitation place you build for them and…” Bucky trailed off and shook his head. He looked at Loki. “Kill them. We _have_ to.”

Loki inclined his head and looked to the unfamiliar man, who blew out a frustrated breath and pushed his shoulders back and nodded. 

“We rehabilitated _you_, Buck,” the man tried earnestly. “Who’s to say that they can’t—”

Bucky shook his head again. “No, #####. I’m not rehabilitated, anyway. You saw what Zemo almost made me do. I’m one trip back to the Chair”—he motioned angrily towards the chair in the middle of the room—“and I’m right back where I started. We kill them and we give them some _peace_. Peace I never got.”

The unfamiliar man looked wounded. Loki instinctively glanced over him for blood, but there was nothing. 

“Alright, Buck,” the man sighed. “Loki, put them to rest.”

He inclined his head and raised a hand. “How would you wish me to do it?” Oftentimes, he would be asked to kill someone in the most painful way possible. He wondered what these men wanted; skin torn off, bones ripped out, hearts ripped from their chests. He would do as he was told and he would get Clint back and he would be able to go home. 

The unfamiliar man frowned at him. Loki wavered in the presence of such _solidity_, such strength. Who was he to question this man? Perhaps he had been told before. Perhaps he had forgotten and would not be punished. He opened his mouth to apologize. 

“Just stop their hearts,” the man told him, a strange look in his eye. “Can you get seidr in there without us even opening the machines? That’d be safest.”

Loki nodded, seidr slipping from his fingers, pooling on the ground. He watched as one thin tendril reached out towards the unfamiliar man before joining the others in sliding inside the door of the machine and sinking beneath the sleeping soldier’s chest. It was easy to stop their hearts. 

“Do you wish to see?” he asked, after the first soldier was dead and his seidr moved on to the second. 

“See what?” the unfamiliar man asked. 

“Their hearts,” Loki offered, not looking at him or Bucky. “After I stopped them. If you wish, of course.”

Bucky groaned and turned away. “Is this some kinda mating ritual,” he muttered, and Loki frowned. Mating ritual? He was merely trying to be _good_. He just wanted to go home. It was not his duty to judge or demand anything from his facilitators. If Thor had given him to these men, then he would do his best to be what they wanted, so that he could return home. Why on Midgard...mating rituals?

“I don’t need to see that,” the man said faintly. Loki shot him a glance as he killed the third soldier. “Loki, are you—”

Loki turned as something flew into the room. It was something strange, red and gold, and it looked like some manner of man. He killed the third soldier and sent two tendrils of seidr to the fourth and fifth soldiers, ending their lives simultaneously so he could focus on this newest enemy. 

The strange man landed and his face changed, turning into a human face. Loki frowned and knowledge rose up in his mind: Tony Stark. The instigator of this entire charade.

Oh, his head _hurt._

He wanted his brother so badly he felt nearly faint with it.

“Do you wish me to kill him?” Loki asked the unfamiliar man and Bucky, raising up a fist of seidr. The unfamiliar man darted forward and grabbed his hand, shaking his head.

“No killing. Just talking. Now, Tony...you’re not going to stop us.”

_He came to see us at the Raft. The prison._

Loki looked down to see that his hand was still in the unfamiliar man’s hand. Their hands fit together well. He had no particular urge to release his grasp or to break the man’s hand to keep him from touching him again. The ache in his head grew stronger and he briefly closed his eyes, trying to push it away.

He looked at Tony. “Everything isn’t as it seems,” Tony said almost conversationally. “They found the real psychiatrist dead in a tub in some hotel in Berlin. They also found a file.” He did something with his arm that had a type of projection appear in front of them. “I thought we’d found all of the Winter Soldier assassination documents. I read through all of them. Hundreds of pages.”

Next to him, both the unfamiliar man and Bucky stiffened. 

The projection showed up a page with HYDRA written at the top. So they were hunting an ovaettr, then. Loki knew how to kill those. The projection scrolled down the page to show the date of December 16th, 1991.

“You hid this from me,” Tony spat. “You _hid it_, and you kept Barnes safe for _months_, knowing what he did to me. I watched the video, #####. I _watched_ Barnes kill...kill my...” His voice trailed off. Did Tony own the ovaettr, then? Oh, he was so terribly confused. Loki just wanted to go home to where life made sense. He missed Asgard. He was so _tired._

Tony swallowed down his tears and pointed at Loki, finger trembling. “You knew about this, didn’t you?”

“I do not know,” Loki replied truthfully.

The unfamiliar man and Bucky both looked questioningly at him. “You’re the one who hid the file,” Bucky told him, brow creasing. “It was your idea.”

“Loki,” the unfamiliar man said, squeezing his hand a bit tighter. “Do you—”

“Stop!” Tony yelled. “Whatever plan this is, whatever reason you decided to hide this from me, it’s over. I’m _done_. I’m taking you in and giving you to Ross. He can do whatever he wants with the three of you.”

Ross?

Loki knew _that_ name.

“You wish to give me back to him?” Loki asked archly, detangling his fingers from the unfamiliar man’s and stepping away from him, spreading out his fingers to send a low wave of seidr across the floor. “To the chair I broke myself out of? To the _prison?_”

“Chair?” Tony asked. “You weren’t even in the prison, Loki. I asked to see you.”

“They lied,” Loki spat, and then he felt Clint in his mind, speaking through him, “They used you, Stark. They used you to break apart the Avengers, used you to twist us up and spit us out. And you still _let them_. You would give me back to him?” Loki shook his head, letting out a shuddering breath as Clint slid out of his mind and his mouth. “I will kill you first.”

_I want you to do something for me._

Loki spread out seidr and tipped his head at Clint’s request.

_Hold out your hand. Summon Mjolnir._

He laughed out loud. _Mjolnir? If you know what I know, then you know I cannot wield the hammer! I may wish to return to my brother but I do not wish for him to kill me—_

Thor...Thor had killed him.

His head felt fit to burst and Loki turned away, lifting a hand to his forehead, letting out a small moan. It _hurt_. He just wanted it to _stop_.

_Where is my brother?_ Loki asked Clint, on the verge of begging. _I need him. I am nothing without him. He will fix this. He will make it right._ If he did not complete this mission, Thor would hurt him, and he was so tired of pain.

When would Thor have killed him? If his brother had killed him, how did he live?

_Just summon Mjolnir. I can’t...Loki, I can’t tell you. Not now. You get away from there, you finish that fight, you come get me, and I promise I’ll tell you._

A fight? Loki rubbed tiredly at his aching forehead and then turned to see the unfamiliar man and Bucky and Tony all engaged in battle. When had that happened? He was so tired, and his head hurt so terribly. 

He held out his hand and reached for Mjolnir through the stars and through space and through time and dimensions.

Thunder cracked outside and just a moment later, the hammer crashed through the walls and nearly through Bucky’s head and smacked into Loki’s hand. The shaft felt familiar and warm in his hand. Power and lightning raced through his veins. He could feel the strength of the storm at his fingertips, and he _pulled._

A gust of wind knocked Tony to the ground, and with a toss of Mjolnir, he was pinned. Pinned as Loki had been so many times before. Loki stepped up next to him and bent over him, pressing Mjolnir into the shining arc reactor until it cracked.

“Do you understand?” he asked Tony, who snarled at him. “You were _wrong_.”

“He killed my _mom,_” Tony told him, readying a repulsor blast. Loki pinned his arms down with seidr and sent a green tendril into both of his arms to disable the various weaponry. 

“He did not know what he was doing,” Loki snarled back, turning his head as the unfamiliar man and Bucky helped each other to their feet. Something twisted in his chest at the man’s arm around Bucky’s waist. “I will not let you hurt him.”

Tony coughed, blood soaking his lips. “I watched the video,” he said around another hacking cough. “He strangled her with his bare hand.”

“And he has to live with that,” the unfamiliar man yelled at them, Bucky hanging on to him by a thread. Somewhere in the fight Loki had missed, his left arm had gone missing. What on Midgard was _happening?_ Had he lost time? He was so _tired_. “We didn’t tell you, Tony, because it didn’t change anything. Your parents aren’t less dead now. We have to _go_, Loki.”

Loki nodded and pushed to his feet, looking down at Tony. He wanted to say something about his mother and father, but the words stuck in his throat. Instead, he inclined his head and turned to follow the unfamiliar man and Bucky out of the compound.

“That shield doesn’t belong to you!” Tony yelled after them, and the unfamiliar man paused, lifting the shield to look at it. “You don’t deserve it. My father made that shield!”

The man nodded and paused, then dropped it with a final, echoing clang. He walked with Bucky out of the compound and to the peculiar ship. Loki went after him and asked, “Would you like for me to summon it for you?”

“No,” the man said, his voice hoarse. “Let him keep it.” His voice rang with finality and Loki inclined his head.

_You comin’ for me now?_

There was a strange man waiting for them on the ship. It took Loki a moment to remember this man was a Midgard King, King T’Challa. Neither the unfamiliar man or Bucky looked particularly alarmed at his presence, so Loki retook his seat at the front of the plane and waiting until the exit hatch was almost closed to summon Mjolnir again. It soared easily into his hand and he raised the hammer up, examining it closely.

“I offer you sanctuary in Wakanda,” King T’Challa said to them, helping the man set Bucky down in the sick bay. “To you and yours.”

“May we go to Clint now?” Loki asked, inclining his head, hair falling over his face. “Unless you require something else of me.” He hoped not, but he would do as he was told.

The unfamiliar man dropped to the pilot’s seat and sighed, staring up the plane and quickly taking off. “Once I figure out how to get inside the prison, then yes.”

Loki thought for a moment and looked at Mjolnir, then carefully set the hammer on the floor next to his feet. He picked it up one more time, just to make certain it was not a fluke, and then set it back down. He could not imagine how he had become worthy of it. His aching mind raced, but there was nothing. 

They flew through the clouds. T’Challa and the unfamiliar man compared ways on how to break into the prison, but did not ask Loki for his advice. Midgardians were so ridiculous and silly.

To stop their arguing on whether or not turning off the power to the Raft would rise it to the surface or sink the prison, Loki summoned the Tesseract and held it out. If it would take him to Clint, and to answers, he would give it up. Even if it would send away the ache in his head…

The unfamiliar man stared at him and then laughed a bit, shaking his head. “Yeah, we can use that. Good idea.” He gave Loki a strange, warm look, and then a bit of a smile. He reached out and took Loki’s hand, twisting their fingers together. Loki let the Tesseract float in the air in front of them as he looked down at the strong fingers holding his own. “Your Highness, you mind giving us a minute?”

T’Challa tipped his head at the Tesseract. “I am curious about that box,” he said, and Loki nodded, watching the King take the Tesseract and move over to the sick bay to speak quietly with Bucky.

There was something he needed to remember about a King. Was Thor King yet? There was a name in his head, but no context to it: Balder. He did not know a Balder, nor had he ever heard of one. 

Loki looked at the unfamiliar man, who flew the ship easily with one hand and then pressed a button and turned his attention fully to Loki, the ship flying itself.

“I’m sorry,” the man told him. “I...I’m sorry about me and Buck. I didn’t mean for that to happen. Well, not like that, anyway. I wouldn’t have done it if I’d known.” He sighed. “Loki, I miss you. My life is...it’s not right without you. I still love you. I’m still _in love_ with you.”

_This is gonna be really funny once you remember who he is._

Loki ducked his chin, searching frantically for something to say. “May we speak more upon this later?” he asked, keeping his voice quiet. “I...I must think.”

The man squeezed his hand and nodded, clearing his throat. He ran his fingers down the length of Loki’s hand as he pulled away, and Loki shivered.

For some reason, he wished to go to his knees for this man.

Awhile later, the unfamiliar man called T’Challa over, and he brought with him the Tesseract, which Loki greedily took, running his fingers over the sharp edges. “How many will you offer sanctuary to?” the man asked.

“How many do you need?” T’Challa replied, glancing over his shoulder at Bucky. 

The man thought for a moment and then looked at Loki. “Will Clint bring his family?”

_I’m good._

“He says that he is _good,_” Loki repeated. “If you know what he means by _good,_ for I do not.”

The man smiled at him. “So that’s, what, us three...seven of us?” He looked at T’Challa. “Is that too many?”

T’Challa shook his head. “I can make accommodations.”

“I will be going?” Loki queried, suddenly nervous. Was his duty not yet finished? Perhaps they would go to whatever this Wakanda was and there would be more for him to do. He’d merely believed that since he was going to Clint that he would be returned to Thor. He sighed a bit at the thought. Perhaps he would get Clint at the end of this mission, then, if it ended in Wakanda.

The unfamiliar man shot him a curious look. “You don’t have to, no,” the man told him, his tone slow, “But where else would you go?”

“Home,” Loki said simply.

The man frowned at him, but then turned to T’Challa. “We’ll go to the Raft, and bring them back here.” He tapped something between the various screens and buttons. “Loki, can you make this Quinjet reach Wakanda?”

He nodded, feeding seidr into the engines. If it would take him to Clint, back to Thor, he would do whatever asked of him.

The man looked at him and then at T’Challa, and pushed to his feet, moving back through the Quinjet. His arm looked empty without his shield, but Loki did not say anything. T’Challa took the unfamiliar man’s empty seat and Loki pushed to his feet, meeting the man back near the exit hatch, holding up the Tesseract before him.

The unfamiliar man stretched out his hand and Mjolnir slammed into his palm.

Loki activated the Tesseract before he could think any more on the implications of that.

They landed in a strange, round room. 

Loki looked around, gaze glancing over the occupants of the cells. The names came back to him after a moment. Bruce, Scott, _Clint_, Sam, Wanda.

_Clint._

Clint stood up, a smile on his face. He reached out a hand and Loki found himself reaching back and _pulling,_ and a moment later, Clint was in his arms. Carefully, he wrapped his arms around the man and held him close. Something in his chest eased as Clint’s arms tightened around him.

The unfamiliar man used Mjolnir to bash open the cells, quickly hugging Sam, and getting hugged by Scott. Loki kept Clint close and made sure everyone else was safe and hale before activating the Tesseract again, taking all of them back to the ship.

It took only minutes. It was strangely easy.

Loki put the Tesseract away and flicked one of the strange things in Clint’s ear. “What is this?” he said out loud.

Clint just grinned up at him, but Sam stepped over, crossing his arms over his chest. “A hearing aid,” Sam informed him. “You good, Barton?”

Clint nodded. “Yeah, don’t worry about me, Sam. Go check on Bucky.”

Sam was already in the med bay by the time Clint had stopped talking. Loki nodded at him and sighed, glancing around the suddenly crowded ship.

The unfamiliar man was watching him and Clint with a strange look on his face, arms crossed over his chest. Clint gave him an awkward wave.

Loki nodded to himself and looked to the unfamiliar man. “Will I be returned to my brother now? Or do you ask more of me?”

* * *

* * *

It was Clint who ended up explaining everything, of course. He told them about how Loki had been kept in a strange room underneath their cells, in a Chair similar to the one he’d read about in the red journal. A similar Chair to the one Bucky had suffered in. They’d injected him with something. Whatever they’d done to him, he’d _lost_ something, memories and some part of himself. It was coming back, slowly, but there was a block on Steve that even Clint couldn’t get past. He was working on whatever they’d done to Loki’s mind from the inside, but they’d locked Steve away so tightly that Clint couldn’t even find _where,_ let alone _how._

Loki watched them all placidly. He did not seem too concerned with losing a great part of his memory. He merely wanted to go to Thor, even after learning that Thor was dead. If he could not go to Thor, then he wished to go to Asgard. He would go with them, of course, if asked, but he was convinced that Thor had given him out on some type of loan in order to accomplish a mission. Clint had told him otherwise, but...it was slow going. Whatever they’d done to Loki, it would be difficult to undo. But Clint was stubborn.

Steve was concerned, obviously. He’d basically admitted to still being in love with someone who didn’t even know who he was. He and Loki were trying to come back together, and Loki did not even _know who he was_. It had to be agonizing. Clint felt for the guy, he really did.

They decided that the five of them—Steve, Bucky, Sam, Loki, and Clint—were going to Wakanda. Scott didn’t want to leave his kid, and Bruce said that the Ancient One had given him a room in the Sanctum. Loki had perked up at that, some strange memory flickering through his head almost too fast for Clint to see. Wanda decided to go with Bruce. Clint had the impression she was going to go find the Vision but didn’t want any of them to know about it.

Loki used the Tesseract to send the latter three to their chosen destinations, and then conjured himself a chair and rested elegantly upon his, legs crossed, hands clasped in his lap. He watched them curiously, not really seeing anything besides Clint, who stuck close to him, always keeping one hand on him, keeping him grounded.

“How much longer?” Clint asked, when they’d all been quiet for a good while.

T’Challa was at the helm, and he turned back to say, “Not much longer. Perhaps an hour.”

Clint nodded and looked at Loki, who was doing nothing more than staring into space. _A nap will do you good._

Loki blinked and then turned his head to look at him. He nodded slowly. _If you insist._ He paused, and then said, _Why does that man wield my brother’s hammer?_

Clint sighed. _You forbade me to talk about him to you._ “Hey, Cap,” he said out loud, and Steve turned to look at him. He could hear the strange static in Loki’s mind whenever anyone said Steve’s name or his title. “Can you order Loki to…” his voice slowed to a stop once he remembered everyone else on the ship. “Actually, let’s wait. Privacy and all.” He gently patted Loki’s hair and grimaced when Loki didn’t even try to bat his hand away. Whatever they’d done to him, Clint wanted it reversed sooner rather than later. 

Loki blinked up at him and then returned to staring at the floor, no particular thoughts of note running through his mind. He merely felt a bit confused and unmoored, but he was comforted by Clint’s presence.

He conjured a chair for Clint, who kept a hold of his hand as he sat down. Clint looked around the Quinjet. Bucky and Sam were leaning against each other in the med bay, both of Sam’s hands wrapped around Bucky’s. Steve and T’Challa were piloting the ship. He scooted his chair closer to Loki and rested his head against Loki’s shoulder, sighing softly. Loki patted him gently on the top of his head and Clint smiled a bit to himself. 

_Where is this Wakanda?_

_Somewhere in Africa. Geography isn’t really my thing._ He paused for a moment. _Hey, do you have your phone on you?_

_Phone?_ Loki asked.

Clint sighed. _Pocket dimension, right hand, about navel height._

Loki complied without complaint, which was still so weird. He opened the pocket dimension and then paused. _Why do I sense...there are more seidr-spaces in this room than the ones I own._

_Yeah, you gave two of them to...guy in blue and Sam._

Loki shook his head. _Why would I do such a thing?_ He pulled out a phone and handed it to Clint, who powered it on and tapped through the texts from his wife. _Wife? So you truly are married._

Clint grinned, just a bit. _Yeah, boss. About twenty years now. We have three kids._

_Ah. Do I know them?_

_You lived with us for a good while. Once we figure your head out, we’ll go back home, fix up the house._

_Portals,_ Loki said suddenly. _I was planning something with portals._

Clint lifted his head off Loki’s shoulder and smiled at him. _You wanted a portal between...your quarters and his. We’ll set up something like that in Wakanda and your rooms, probably same with the Sanctum._

_Why do I know this Sanctum?_

Clint sighed and shook his head. _You got a lot of stuff to remember before you know about that place._

Loki inclined his head, accepting his words. Clint hated it. He wanted _his_ Loki back, not this placid creature. But he stayed his place, as he would always.

He brushed his hand over Loki’s hair and Loki tipped his head into his grasp.

They both stayed quiet as the Quinjet descended into Wakanda. Clint texted Laura, who had thankfully not gone back to the farm, and was shacked up with her parents until Clint and Loki came home. The kids were all good, and she’d sent a picture of the three of them all curled in bed together, with Cooper and Lila curled around Nate. He showed the picture to Loki, who hummed and barely glanced at it, but at least he wasn’t actively disinterested.

The Quinjet landed and T’Challa descended the gangway first, talking quietly to the various guards and what Clint assumed were members of the royal family. Clint opened up Instagram and handed the phone over to Loki, who frowned down at it.

_These are my memories?_

_Not memories, but photos you took. Which I guess are technically memories._

Loki did something with his fingers and the pictures projected out of the phone and to the air in front of them. Clint blinked a few times and then stood up, looking around the projection. It was a full 3-D image of Thor, dead on the Bifrost. Loki flicked his fingers over the phone and a picture of him and Steve in the woods behind Clint’s house came up. They were holding hands and a shaft of sunlight crossed over Loki’s face, lighting up his green eyes, and Steve was smiling up at him, all the love in the world in his eyes.

_I’m in love with him._

Clint nodded. He still couldn’t say anything about Cap to Loki, but they’d figure that out soon. Well, hopefully. 

Loki sent away the projections and handed the phone back to Clint, turning his head to look at him. Poisonous green eyes pinned him in place and Clint opened himself to it.

_Why don’t I remember?_

Clint sighed. _I don’t know. But we’ll figure it out, I promise._

Loki nodded, looking down at his hands in his lap, his fingers so tight that his skin was nearly translucent. _Thor would fix this, had I not killed him._

_I can promise you he wouldn’t,_ Clint snorted. He helped Loki to his feet and resettled his cape and smoothed out his armor and his tunic and Loki brushed his fingers over Clint’s cheek, tipping his head up so Loki could look at him. _I miss you,_ Clint told him softly, leaning his head into Loki’s fingers, eyes sliding shut. _You’re right in front of me and I miss you._

“You two ready?”

Clint pulled away from Loki and nodded at Steve, who had a strange look on his face. If Clint didn’t know the guy better, he would say it was almost like jealousy, but this was _Steve_. Steve took a step closer to them but then Sam called his name, and he turned to help Sam get Bucky up. Clint watched him. Poor guy.

Loki blinked at him a few times and then opened a pocket dimension, pulling out Clint’s Aesir bow and a quiver full of arrows. Clint blinked away tears and grabbed them before following them down the gangway, Sam and Steve on either side of Bucky. He could feel Loki’s gaze narrow in on Steve’s arm around Bucky’s waist, the stump of Bucky’s left arm resting on Steve’s shoulder.

Absolute despair filled him and Clint winced as he shouldered his bow and slid the quiver over his back. Loki didn’t even know who Steve _was_ but he was still convinced the guy loved Bucky more than him. 

_It’ll be alright,_ he soothed as they walked down the gangway. _I’m here._

Loki and Clint hung back as T’Challa introduced all of them to his sister, Shuri, and his mother, Ramonda. The head of his guard, the Dora Milaje, was named Okoye, and she was _awesome_. They were all awesome. Clint looked around, feeling Loki copy his movements.

_It is not Asgard,_ Loki murmured, as he gazed upon the buildings and the far forest and the blue sky above. _But it is beautiful._

“And this one lost his memory?” Shuri was asking, turning to motion at Loki, who inclined his head to peer at her. “Why did you bring me so many problems to fix, brother?”

“Fix?” Loki parroted, clasping his hands behind his back and stepping up to her. “I am not _broken_, nor am I a problem.”

Shuri lifted her hand and pressed one of the beads on her wrist, lifting her hand as a blue light came out of the bracelet and scanned over Loki, who jerked back and then stiffened. Clint’s hand dropped to the ruby-hilted dagger on his belt, but Steve’s hand on his arm stayed him. Clint didn’t drop his hand from the dagger but didn’t move after Shuri. Okoye’s gaze landed on him and she readied her spear, but T’Challa held up his hand, stopping her.

Two warriors under their commanders.

“I understand you and Sergeant Barnes were under the influence of similar machines,” Shuri commented, fingers flicking through Loki’s blue outline. Clint nodded.

“He showed me the Chair he was in. It was similar to the one we saw in the journal.” _Can you summon it?_

_Summon what?_

“The journal?” Shuri asked, turning that laser-like gaze on Clint, who just grinned at her. 

“Yeah, HYDRA kept a bunch of information on Bucky in some journal, which we found. Well, we took it from the guy who tried to activate Buck. After Loki killed him. The guy who tried to activate Bucky, not Bucky. And I don’t know where it is, so can you summon it?” he asked Loki again, who frowned at him.

_I know what the journal looks like,_ Clint told him, _which means you know what it looks like._

A moment later, Loki held up his hand and the book appeared in his palm. He blinked down at it and then Clint took it, turning to Bucky, who was visibly close to passing out, leaning heavily against Sam. “You mind?” he asked, and Bucky glowered at him.

“Just show her the information on the Chair,” Sam answered for him, and Bucky sighed a bit and nodded, leaning his cheek on Sam’s shoulder. “Nothing else.”

Clint nodded and paged through the book, but Loki rolled his eyes and summoned it out of his hands, tapping his fingers on front cover and the relevant pages appeared in his hand, which he handed over to Shuri. She turned and started walking back to what Clint thought was a palace without saying anything. T’Challa gave out a long-suffering sigh and waved them towards the palace.

A few Wakandans brought over some kind of floating chair and helped Bucky sit down in it, and Sam pushed it as they all moved towards the palace.

“This place is gorgeous,” Clint told T’Challa, who nodded a bit, pausing as he looked out over the horizon. “You know, I’ve seen worlds beyond human imagining, places that exist in other dimensions, worlds that exist inside other worlds, planets made out of diamonds and fire and ice. Well, Loki’s seen them, but that means I’ve seen it. Wakanda is...well, it’s up there. Bet the sunsets here are amazing.”

When T’Challa didn’t say anything, Clint looked at him, and then past him, to where Loki and Steve were walking next to each other, Loki’s hand tucked in Steve’s arm.

_He offered,_ Loki told him, a bit defensively. 

Clint just sent him a wave of affection and looked at T’Challa, who was being escorted by Okoye and a few of the Dora Milaje, as well as his mother. Ramonda moved past T’Challa and walked next to Clint.

“Your Highness,” he greeted a bit awkwardly.

“Will you come with me?” she asked of him, and Clint paused, looking past her to Loki.

_I will summon you if I need you,_ Loki informed him as he and Steve walked past.

Clint shrugged and followed her, as did a few of the Dora Milaje. Clint tried to introduce himself to them but they ignored him. One of them did let him look at her spear when he asked, which seemed to amuse Ramonda.

“We have heard of Tony Stark and Captain America in Wakanda,” Ramonda told him while they walked. “But we do not know of Hawkeye.”

“It’s the Amazing Hawkeye,” Clint shot back with a grin. “Or it was in the circus, anyway. When I was a kid.”

“The circus,” Ramonda repeated, a bit incredulously. Then she shook her head and gently laid her hand on his arm. Clint stopped walking and glanced down at her hand and then looked down the hill they had walked to the top of. God, Wakanda was gorgeous. Nothing like Asgard, of course, but incredible enough. “Tell me of yourself, Hawkeye.”

“Just Clint is fine.” He grinned at her. “I’m not much, you know. Just the best marksman on the planet.”

“Oh?” She motioned at one of the Dora Milaje and she came forward, hefting her spear. Clint slid his Aesir bow down his arm and nocked an arrow. The Dora Milaje pointed out a tree and Ramonda did something with her bracelet that made a hologram of a target appear on the tree. She hefted her spear and after a moment, threw it, and Clint whistled as it landed right in the bullseye. She nodded at him and Clint readied his bow.

Five shots later, he’d put an arrow in the target on top, bottom, and both sides of the spear, and then one final one in the butt of the spear. He lowered his bow and looked at Ramonda, who gave him a reluctantly impressed look. Clint grinned at her. “I’m pretty alright. Anyway, that’s my whole thing. Good at hand-to-hand, good at whatever’s asked of me, but I’m best at this.” He lifted his bow a bit. “Can’t imagine that’s why you brought me over here, though. Uh, ma’am. Your Highness.”

Ramonda gave him a thoroughly amused glance and then motioned at the Dora Milaje who’d thrown the spear and she set off towards it. Clint made to go with her but Ramonda’s hand on his arm stopped him. “T’Challa asked for your entrance to Wakanda because of your association to Captain America. He said you are a good man, loyal and brave and kind.”

“Geez,” he muttered, rubbing at the back of his neck. T’Challa didn’t even know him.

She smiled a bit at him. “I have a feeling you would attempt to argue with me if I told you I believed he was right. I merely wished to get to know you better.” Ramonda dropped her hand from his arm and clasped her hands in front of her stomach, turning her head so the light from the sun caught her face. “I read about Loki when I was younger. Even here, in Wakanda, hidden away from the rest of Earth, we learned of the Asgardian Gods.” There was a gentle, fond look upon her face as she looked over Wakanda and the Dora Milaje in the distance pulling Clint’s arrows out of the tree. “Loki was always my favorite.”

“Yeah, he’s my favorite too,” Clint replied with a bit of a grin. 

“He’s so very smart, so very sly. So many aspects I admired in him.” Ramonda turned her gaze back to Clint. “I look forward to getting to know him. However, I can only imagine how many of those myths are fake.”

Clint shrugged a bit. “Most of them. His memory is shot right now but I can tell you—”

She shook her head, braids moving a bit around her face. “Clint, I wish to get to know Loki on my own. However, I am not interested in him right now.” Ramonda looked at him, dark eyes pinning him in place. “You. Clint Barton. I have something I must ask of you.”

* * *

Clint landed in some big room that looked like it might be an infirmary, right next to an exam table where Loki was floating a few inches above it, ignoring the golden light that was slowly passing over him. On the other side of the room, Bucky was lying back on his own exam table, with the stump of his left arm wrapped in some kind of black cloth. His right hand was clasped in Sam’s, with Sam quietly talking to him. Steve and Shuri were nowhere to be seen.

Loki peeked open an eye and softened a bit at seeing Clint, carelessly holding out a hand. Clint obediently took it and brought over a chair, sitting next to the exam table. Loki touched down and scooted a bit closer, reaching out to brush his free hand over Clint’s face.

Clint closed his eyes and let himself sink down. Loki slid into his mind and they both sighed a bit in relief. 

_What did the Queen want?_

_Is she still technically a Queen if T’Challa is King?_ Loki ignored that, which was smart. Clint settled on the floor next to Loki’s throne and leaned his temple against Loki’s knee. _Nothing much. Just about, uh...the guy you can’t remember. And Asgard._

_What did she wish to know about Asgard?_

_Some space travel stuff. And, uh, she wanted to know if you’d give T’Challa some advice on being King._

Loki twisted his fingers in Clint’s hair and twisted his head so that their eyes could meet. _Excuse me?_

_Did they give you some kind of pill or something? You’re getting back to normal._

_Answer me. Now._

Clint sighed and Loki’s hand tightened in his hair. _Yeah, I told her it was a weird thing to ask. Well, I told her_ you’d _think it was weird. I thought it was weird too. But, anyway, I told her you were probably going to deny helping him. First of all, kind of weird political stuff there._ Loki frowned. _Yeah, you’re from another world. Don’t worry about it. But second, there’s no way you’d help him. He has to learn his own way._

_If I am asked for help,_ Lok started, but Clint shook his head.

_Nope, I’m vetoing this. Whatever weird shit was done to your head, it messed you up. You don’t help other people without a reason, and this is a bit too altruistic for you. I said I’d help, but you’d probably get annoyed over that._

Loki sighed and twisted Clint’s hair harder. He let Loki pull him a bit into his lap so that his cheek was pressed to Loki’s thigh and Loki’s knees were digging into his chest. 

_Why do you enjoy this?_ Loki asked. _We are in your mind, I am hurting you, and all I feel from you is...contentment. You are pleased with my treatment of you._

Loki’s hand released his hair and Clint slid down a bit so that his chin was resting on Loki’s knee. _I mean, it’s a weird thing for you to ask, but alright. You could just look at memories, you know._

Loki looked around his mind and blinked a bit. _I remember you telling me that you refused to be a go-between between myself and...someone. Whoever that was. Because I had to have courage._ He paused for a moment. _No, that isn’t right._

_No, it’s not._ Clint crossed his arms over Loki’s legs and leaned his head on them. _I doubt it really matters, though. Anyway, we’ve talked about this before. I like it because you like it. Well, I’d always been kind of masochistic. Before I met Laura, I met a guy named Jason. I think that was his name. Close enough. Whatever. Anyway, he used to tie me up and hit me with a horse whip._ Clint shivered at the memory. _He’d whip me until I bled and cried. It was fuckin’ great. There was another guy who would spring up on me at random times and handcuff me and fuck me. So, I guess I’ve always been like this. Laura is good at it, too. But, Loki...we both know why I’m like this._

_It is because you are mine._

_Yeah. I was made for you._

Suddenly, they were both outside Clint’s mind, back in the Wakanda infirmary. Clint picked himself up off the floor, where he’d somehow slid to. Steve patted him on the shoulder and then kept his hand there as Shuri pulled up a projection of Loki’s anatomy, and then brought over Bucky’s anatomy, the four of them comparing the two bodies.

Bucky’s bed floated over, Sam following behind it. 

Shuri bounced excitedly a few times as she began describing the differences between their physiologies. Loki’s heart had more lobes, all of his organs were different, his skin and bones were more dense, and, as Clint made sure to loudly note, he still had a left arm and his dick was bigger. Sam made a joke about the _motion of the ocean_, which turned into Steve asking what that meant, even though he _definitely_ knew, which meant that Sam had to tell Captain America a sex joke, which was one of the best moments of Clint’s entire life.

Shuri then held up the papers Loki had copied for her and pointed to certain parts of Loki’s brain scan and Bucky’s brain scan, which apparently meant something. “This so-called ‘Chair’ affects specific parts of the brain, and I can design a new machine—”

“Not a chair,” Bucky interrupted, and then winced at the nasty look Shuri sent him, but she then nodded and made some kind of note on her tablet. 

“I can design a new machine that doesn’t exactly reverse the effects, but...well, I’ll work on it.” She nodded assuredly to herself and then turned to look at them. “Loki, I need some of your blood, to begin to figure out what they injected you with, so I can begin to neutralize the effects.”

Loki frowned. “It is illegal to give my blood,” he said simply. “I must ask my broth—my King. I must ask Balder.”

“Hey, you remembered!” Clint grinned up at him and patted Loki’s knee. Loki flicked him on the forehead. Steve’s hand tightened on his shoulder and Clint turned his head to look up at him. “Yeah, ###?”

“Excuse us,” Steve said a bit stiffly to the rest of the room, and he pulled Clint out of the infirmary. Clint shrugged back at Loki and then followed Steve, who led him down a hall and then stopped awkwardly at the end of it, looking out a massive window overlooking the city beneath them. Clint stepped up next to him and uncomfortably cleared his throat. “Steve, I, oh I can say your name out here. Huh. Anyway, you need something? I mean, you did drag me all the way out here. Well, I kind of walked.”

“Clint,” Steve said tiredly. Clint’s jaw clicked shut and he turned his head to look up at Steve, who was decidedly not looking at him. “You told me once we could lean on each other.”

“I meant it,” Clint replied. “Steve, I know we haven’t...talked much in the past few months, ever since you and Loki broke up or whatever.” Steve winced and Clint sighed, just a bit. “Yeah, I know. But I...when Loki bound us together, I knew what I was getting into. I knew you were part of that, even back then. Not the first weird one, but the bonding out in the woods. I didn’t have any regrets, and I still don’t. It’ll be easier for you to understand once you two get married, but Cap, I’m as much yours as I am Loki’s. So, whatever you gotta say, just tell me.”

Steve turned his head and regarded him sternly, jaw clenched, arms crossed defensively over his chest. “I told him I’m still in love with him and he doesn’t even know who I _am._” He sounded more broken than Clint had ever heard him. “I don’t...there is nothing I can _do._”

“I don’t think you _do_ anything,” Clint replied slowly, trying to think it through. “Look, you’re not Captain America anymore, right? You gave up the shield.” Steve stiffened. “Loki could get it back if you wanted, but I know you wouldn’t ask. You got time right now, time I don’t think you’ve ever had before. Balder will come here to give permission for Loki to give blood, Asgard and Wakanda will team up, we’ll figure out how to get Loki’s memory back, fix Bucky’s brain, and defeat Thanos. You two get married somewhere in there, easy peasy.”

“Just like that.”

“Just like that.”

Steve nodded, some of the tension seeping out of his face. Some indecision crossed his forehead and then he seemed to figure it out, and carefully, Steve pulled Clint into a hug. “I’m glad its you,” Steve said quietly into his ear as Clint cautiously wrapped his arms around Steve’s waist. Getting hugged by Steve had to be like getting hugged by God. “Thank you.”

Steve held him for another moment and then stepped back, one hand on Clint’s shoulder, the other on his neck, and Clint looked up at him. “I know this sucks right now,” Clint said softly, “But it’ll get better, Cap. Just gotta have faith.”

From behind them, Balder’s voice boomed out, “Little human! Still deaf, are we? No proper greeting for your King?”

* * *

“I only came because of Loki’s request,” Balder informed them, poking his finger into Loki’s forehead. Loki crossed his eyes and glared at him, but only half-heartedly. “It is not illegal for an Aesir to give their blood to whom they which, even royalty.”

“You think it was one of Thor’s rules?” Clint asked. They’d all changed out of their uniforms and into what was apparently Wakandan casual wear, and it was an absolute delight to see Loki pretend to be grateful for the peculiar clothes. Loki had insisted that Clint wear Asgardian clothes, just to be a dick, and Clint had grinned at seeing Loki be an asshole for no reason and had happily complied. “We never have figured out his real heritage, besides Jotun.”

Balder frowned as Loki finally smacked his hand away. “Have you any ideas? He looks Aesir to me.”

“I remember something about Loki being half Jotun,” Steve interjected thoughtfully. “Can you tell?”

“I would need a seidrmadr,” Balder replied, just as thoughtfully. “Princess Shuri!” he called, and she turned to him from where she was talking to Bucky and Sam. “I request to bring seidrmadrs from Asgard to your home.”

She blinked and opened her mouth, but then seemed to think better of it. “You’d have to ask _the King._”

“I am the King,” Balder replied, a bit teasingly, and then turned to look at Steve. “Well?”

“I’m not the King,” Steve replied tiredly, but led Balder out of the room, for some reason. Shuri called up T’Challa on her kimoyo beads, and he said he would meet Balder and Steve on their way up. 

Clint perched on the edge of Loki’s exam table, and Loki tiredly leaned against him, eyes sliding shut. At that point, of course, Bucky decided to announce he wanted to go back in cryo, which meant Sam had to raise a loud objection, and Shuri had to figure out who’s side she was on and if Wakanda even had a cryogenic chamber, and _then_ T’Challa and Balder and Steve all showed back up and Loki just...wasn’t having it anymore. He raised up a seidr shield around the two of them and changed his exam table into a bed and pulled Clint into his arms.

Clint pulled a blanket up over the two of them and curled into Loki’s chest.

He looked up a few minutes later to see Steve sitting in the chair next to the bed, and Steve carefully reached over to take Loki’s hand.

* * *

“It’s very peculiar,” Shuri exclaimed excitedly, raising the frosted vial of Loki’s blood up with a pair of tongs. “I have studied the blood of many creatures on Earth, and I have seen none like this!”

“I am not of Midgard,” Loki reminded her. He looked exhausted and he’d been sipping at a vial of heill all day. Clint hadn’t been allowed further than arm’s reach since he’d woken up, which was fun. Clint wouldn’t have minded except Loki still wasn’t _Loki,_ so it was kind of like being around a friend he knew as a kid but hadn’t talked to in twenty years or something. At least Steve was hanging around, even though Clint wasn’t sure if that was to keep morosely checking in on Bucky, who was still insistent on going into cryo, or to support Loki and whatever weird nonsense he was up to. “Take some of Clint’s blood. I have a theory about it.”

“‘Course you do,” Clint sighed, and held out his arm for Shuri to stick a needle in him and draw blood out. “Let me guess, you want to stick some seidr in me.”

“Is that a euphemism?” Shuri asked, a bit of a smile on her face as she put Clint’s blood in some kind of machine and then exclaimed again in excitement. She spun around and pointed at him. “I thought you said you were human!”

“I _was_ human,” Clint pointed out. “Then he took me. And no, it’s not a euphemism. He’d be a lot more crass if he was making a _euphemism._” He thought about it for a moment and opened his mouth for Loki’s fingers, Loki dropping a drop of heill on his tongue. “Anyway, it’s not me and Loki. It’s Loki and Steve. I’m just…” he waved a hand like how Loki waved his hand, a bit disapprovingly and more than a bit of dismissive, “just around.”

Loki pat him on the head like a dog. If Clint was actually a dog and had a tail, it probably would’ve wagged.

Then, of course, Shuri wanted blood from all of them, which made Bucky uncomfortable, which got Sam all defensive, and Steve just sighed at all of them and let Shuri stick him with as many needles as she wanted. Then Balder and T’Challa came in, talking about Kingship and all it entailed, which got Loki all riled up.

The seidrmadrs T’Challa had allowed to come in from Asgard were to arrive that afternoon. Loki was feeling a bit _tetchy_ about it, which was a word Loki hated so Clint made sure to use it as often as possible. He was also feeling tetchy about not having his memory back, and was also feeling tetchy about still not knowing who Steve was.

Oh, that reminded him.

“Cap! Oi!”

He could say Steve’s name now, or his title, and Loki could hear it, but he never remembered it longer than a couple seconds, which was annoying.

Steve slowly turned to him, eyebrows raised. Clint grinned at him.

“Can you order Loki to tell me that I can talk about you to him?”

Steve blinked at him and then turned to look at Loki, who gave him a bit of a confused look, as he always did whenever he saw Steve now. “Loki,” Steve said slowly. “Tell Clint that he’s allowed to talk about Steve Rogers to you.”

_You are allowed to speak about Steve Rogers to me,_ Loki told him, and then frowned. _Who?_

Fucking finally.

_Your name is Loki Odinson and you are in love with a human named Steve Rogers. He is kind, he is strong, and he has a moral compass that you find admirable and also a bit naive. You want to marry him more than you want to take your next breath. He gave you the strength to stand up to Thor, who spent all your lives torturing you, and you killed Thor so you could live the rest of your life with Steve without him hunting you._ He rubbed at his forehead, at the headache echoing over from Loki. _You think the fucking world of him. You...he is the only place you feel at peace._

Loki went pale-faced and looked haltingly between Clint and Steve. _Clint,_ he said slowly, _my head hurts._

_I know, love._ He took a deep breath and reached out to take one of Loki’s hands in his own, rubbing his calloused fingers along Loki’s long ones. _We went to Asgard to speak with Hjalmar, a great seidrmadr who specializes in soul seidr. Frigga broke your soul bond when you were very young, and you wished to find your soulmate. Your bond was too fractured to ever find your other half. But we found Steve’s._

Loki slowly turned his head to look at Steve. _It isn’t me, is it._ The same awful despair filled him and Clint winced. A moment later, Loki frowned at him. _Who?_

_It’s Bucky. They’re just...it’s fraternal, I promise. They were together when they were younger, before Steve went in the ice, but Steve wants you now. Just you. Hell, he’s willing to deal with me for eternity so he gets you._

_If he is not my soulmate,_ Loki started, but Clint shook his head, interrupting him.

_No. Listen to me. He’s in love with you. Buck is his best friend. Even you don’t get to change that. But I promise, he’s as close as you’re going to get to a soulmate._

_I already have you,_ Loki replied dismissively. _I don’t need him. Whoever he is._

Clint shook his head. _You do need him. And I’m not enough to keep you balanced._

“Loki,” Steve said suddenly, “I want you to remember who I am.”

* * *

* * *

Loki sunk underneath the water, Clint’s hands in his hair, massaging in shampoo. T’Challa had set them up in a comfortable guest room with a huge bed and an even bigger bathroom. The bathtub was almost as big as the one in Loki’s rooms at Clint’s house, and Loki had spent most of the afternoon languishing in the bath, complaining about the ache in his head and the ache in his arm and the ache in his heart. 

Steve’s command had partially worked. Loki could now remember the _name_ Steve Rogers, or Captain America, but didn’t have any specific memories of him yet. Clint had been digging around in Loki’s head all afternoon and had been sending him his own memories of Loki and Steve together, which had been part of Loki’s headache. Clint hadn’t spent so long under in months, and he kept blinking out of it and not recognizing his own hands for a second, which was great. Just great. 

He scrubbed the shampoo out of Loki’s hair and then pulled him out of the bath, squeegeeing water out of Loki’s hair with his hands before slathering it all up with conditioner. 

“You gonna give me a bath next?” Steve asked from the doorway, an amused tone in his voice, and Clint blinked a few times before turning his head and looking at him. “I did tell you once, Loki, that you owed me a bath together in your rooms at Clint’s house. This looks close enough to me.”

Huh. Clint didn’t remember how to make words with his mouth. 

“Oh, just come over,” Loki called out tiredly, flicking his fingers, and a chair appeared next to the bathtub. Steve quickly sat down after kicking off his shoes and socks. “I’ve been in his mind most of the day, as he has been in mine. I’m afraid he’s quite unable to talk at the moment, the poor little boy.” Loki’s wet hand patted his hair. “Press your hand to his stone. We can look this his memories together.”

Steve paused. “He won’t mind?”

Loki snorted elegantly. “No, _minding_ isn’t something Clint does particularly well.” He tipped his head into Clint’s hands and took a sip of wine from a chalice that suddenly appeared in his hand. “Perhaps you can do something to make the memories stick.”

Steve reached out and pressed his fingers to the stone behind Clint’s ear. Clint froze for a moment and then seemed to reboot, shoving Loki under the water to scrub the conditioner out of his hair. 

Steve stepped into Clint’s mind. The main room was grey and large and mostly empty, with a hallway leading down one direction. There was a single throne in the middle of the room, facing towards a huge screen-type projection of what Steve had to assume was Clint’s mind. It was like looking out into a swirling blue and red and purple galaxy where every star was a moment in Clint’s life. Next to the galaxy was a massive green bridge that obviously led to Loki’s mind. 

Loki was lounged carelessly on the throne, barely dressed in some white, almost see-through shift, wet hair making the fabric translucent around his shoulders. Clint was sitting on the floor next to him, Loki resting a wine glass on the top of his head. Clint was dressed in a black tank top and sweatpants covered in emblems of Steve’s shield. He grinned at Steve and waved him over. A second throne appeared next to Loki’s and after an uncomfortable moment, Steve sat down, perching awkwardly on the edge. 

_What are we looking at?_

_Boss is looking over my memories of you. He found one of us on a mission where I sat in your lap or something? Anyway, he’s having a great old time of it._

Steve nodded and Loki brought up the memory. 

_It’s not from this timeline,_ Clint brought up helpfully. _Or this loop or whatever. It’s from one where Loki and I never met. But you and I were still part of the Avengers._

Memory-Clint and memory-Steve were fighting some kind of weird robots. They were back to back, memory-Steve using his shield against the robots while memory-Clint fired arrows, and it was clear they were being overwhelmed. After a few minutes of memory-Clint making horrible quips that memory-Steve was quickly and visibly becoming tired of, memory-Steve ordered him to fall back and they both ran for a car. Memory-Clint pushed memory-Steve into the driver’s seat and then kicked in the rear window, eliciting a loud comment about treating other people’s cars with respect, even as they were stealing it. Memory-Clint slithered his bottom half into the car and shot arrows at the robots while memory-Steve drove off. 

_Driving away from a fight?_ Steve asked. _Am I—_

Then, of course, all the robots they’d been driving away from exploded, and memory-Clint let out a jubilant cry. He yelled something about his bombs finally going off, which made memory-Steve roll his eyes and mutter about arsonists. They stopped the car a few blocks away and then ran inside a building, waiting uncomfortably for the elevator to come down. The two of them filed into the elevator and memory-Steve hit the button for the top floor. 

The elevator went up and then suddenly the entire building trembled, and the lights in the elevator shut off and the elevator box shuddered to a jerky halt. It sent memory-Clint off balance and he crashed into memory-Steve, who fell to the floor, memory-Clint in his lap. 

Loki paused the memory. _You’ve been climbing into people’s laps for many lives now,_ he said, pointing at the two of them on the projection. _It’s not a new thing for you._

Clint sighed. _Just because you want me to be some kind of lapdog doesn’t mean I actually have to be in your lap._

_Hold on,_ Steve interrupted, holding up a hand, _This is what you two talk about? Clint’s past lives and whether or not him sitting in your lap is strange?_

Both Loki and Clint frowned at him. _Well, sure,_ Clint replied back slowly. _What else would we talk about?_

_Your memory loss!_ Steve yelled, motioning wildly at the paused memory. _Your inability to deal with any minor hiccup in any type of relationship and pushing everyone away instead. How about that? Or how about you being put in the same kind of Chair as Bucky and having a huge part of your life erased? But instead you’re talking about how many times Clint has sat in my lap?_ He shook his head and gathered himself to stand up. 

_We have talked about all of that,_ Clint informed him. _We’ve talked a lot about it. But, fine, hey, you’re here now, we’re all in my big dumb head, so let’s talk about what Steve wants to talk about. First time in his life he wants to have an emotional conversation and it has to take place in my head._

Loki frowned at the two of them, sipping at his wine. He pulled just enough out of Clint’s head to get himself out of the bath and to get the three of them to the provided living room, with him and Steve together on the couch, Clint on the floor and leaning back between them. He remembered, almost too late, to dress himself, and then slid back into Clint’s mind. _All of my knowledge of you comes from Clint,_ Loki pointed out. _I can only recall your name. Everything else seems to fade. But we can talk, as you wish, my Captain._

Steve nodded and leaned back against the throne, crossing his arms over his chest. _Fine. Let’s talk, then._ He cleared his throat, which was cute, since none of them were actually talking or opening their mouths. _The Chair. Tell me about the Chair._

Loki waved his hand and a shot of his memory appeared in front of them, showing off the Chair in the Raft in all its glory. 

_How did the Raft get its hand on HYDRA tech?_ Steve asked. 

Clint shrugged one shoulder, Loki copying the action. _I’ve just been blaming everything on Thor. It all seems to track so far. Guy was evil and all. He probably had something to do with it._

_Your memories do seem to indicate Thor was exceedingly cruel to me._ Loki pondered that for a moment. _I can see your memories of my own memories, can I not? If I merely took those memories—_

_Nope!_ Clint interjected, shaking his head. _Take my memories, whatever. You just want a way to get out of having to figure out who and why your mind got fucked with, and you_ super _don’t want to figure out if Thor was involved too._

Loki flicked him on the back of the head. 

_Thor was working with HYDRA, sure,_ Steve said slowly, thinking it through. _He worked with some members there who he gave the Scepter to. They gave him the Winter Soldier book in return._

_No,_ Clint interrupted. _Algrim brought the Scepter to Earth._

_Which Thanos gave to him,_ Steve continued. _How’d Thanos find it?_

_Think Thor was involved somehow? Heimdall did say Thor had changed something in this timeline, that he’d come back a lot earlier than Loki came back._

_Why’d you say it was a time loop, anyway?_ Steve queried. 

_Well, how’d Thor get rid of the current Thor and Loki in each new dimension? They didn’t just disappear, right? He told Loki and Doc that he found the spell to resurrect Loki in the Sanctum. That whole place is devoted to the study of time, not necromancy. And Strange would’ve definitely mentioned his fight with Dormammu to Thor at some point. Guy does_ not _shut up about that._

_So you believe Thor managed to use the Norn Stones and some spells he found in Stephen’s library?_ Loki asked, and then he grimaced. _Frigga assisted him. Of course. She managed to survive the dark elves attack, and secreted herself away somewhere until Thor came for her. Perhaps upon Vanaheim, or Alfheim._

Clint nodded. _Thor came back early, found HYDRA, found Thanos, worked all those years to get you back, and then you killed him. Bravo, boss. Real good work._

_He sealed you out of Asgard for over a year,_ Steve said. _Everything was closed to you. What on Earth was he accomplishing?_

_The Convergence,_ Clint realized. _He wanted you away from the Convergence. And he needed time to spread dissent about you around Asgard so no one would question when he dragged you back in chains. Jesus. The guy was working super fucking hard just to have you back. You really that good of a lay?_

_Would I team up with Thanos or HYDRA for a chance to sleep with Loki again? Probably not._ Steve smiled at the two of them. Loki frowned a bit. _Would I stay back on Earth while you confronted and killed your abuser just because you asked me to? Would I do this all over again just for the chance?_ He didn’t even hesitate, reaching over to take Loki’s hand. _Without a doubt._

_Aww. Geez, you two._

Loki inclined his head. _I am glad I am satisfying enough in bed for you to wish all of that upon yourself again._

Clint rolled his eyes. _Obviously that’s not what he meant, idiot._

_I love you, Loki,_ Steve told him, quietly and earnestly. _Whatever that means to you, I love you._ He looked around Clint’s mind and then pressed a quick kiss to Loki’s knuckles before pushing to his feet. _So this is your mind, Barton? Show me around._

Clint jumped up to his feet and grinned up at him. He grabbed Steve’s wrist and pulled him down the only hallway, stopping in front of the only door. He pushed it open and waved his hands at the carefully organized room. _Viola! The ole Clint Barton memory factory, organized just how Loki likes it._

The way Loki liked it, of course, was somewhere in between orderly and absolutely insane. Everything was in files, and then inside the weird Asgardian version of filing cabinets, but they were organized in such a way that only made sense to Loki. Again, insane. It was Clint’s own brain and he sometimes had difficulty understanding it. Well, it wasn’t really his brain. It was in his head, but it belonged to Loki. Well, whatever. 

He looked at Steve, who looked a bit confused. 

_Is this how all minds are organized?_

Clint laughed a bit and shook his head. _God no. I used to have a bunch of rooms scattered all around with mostly relevant memories in each of them. Loki reorganized everything to his liking. He likes dipping his hands in here and paging through my memories. I think it’s comforting? But I don’t actually know._

Steve blinked at him. _I hadn’t realized...your mind isn’t even your own._

_Well, no. But nothing is, y’know? I get that it’s weird, or whatever, but it’s fine. Cap, I promise. It’s fine._

_How would you even know if it wasn’t fine? What if he wasn’t letting—_

_Stopping you right there!_ Clint barked, holding up one hand. Steve’s mouth clicked shut. _Listen to me. Everyone seems to think I’m just some hapless victim of Loki’s schemes, that he came after me and made me his. I_ chose _this. You think I didn’t know what I was getting into? I saw_ everything. _I lived every single life Loki has lived and I did it right alongside him. I spend my nights dreaming of lives where Loki and I never met, and I wake up grateful every day that we did. I knew exactly what I was getting into. I knew what I would be leaving behind, and what I’d be gaining. Nobody gets to act like Loki is hurting me or I’m some victim here. I wanted all of it: the weird potions, the creepy behavior, the fact that my entire life would be different and would go in ways I couldn’t even imagine. You don’t get to look at me like Loki ever does anything to me that I don’t want. Sure, the guy’s an asshole, and he’s an asshole to me a lot of the time. But I chose that. You don’t get to take that choice away from me, Steve. Not...not when I’m choosing you too._

Steve wrapped him in another hug, and this time, Clint was sure that hugging Steve was better than hugging God.

* * *

“He refused to allow me inside of his mind regardless of my assurances I could cure him,” Loki said, pointing at Bucky with the spoon he’d stolen from Clint for no real reason other than to see if he’d eat his oatmeal with his fingers. As it turned out, Clint would. Who was he trying to impress, anyway? Flatware was for chumps, and if anything could be said about Clint Barton, he was no chump. 

“That’s because you’re crazy,” Clint reminded him, and Loki rolled his eyes. “Anyway, we’re still talking about the Chair. What do you remember?”

Bucky sighed first. It was just the three of them, sitting around a Wakandan picnic table a mile or so away from the palace. Balder had brought down a few Einherjar to guard Loki and Clint while they were on foreign soil, which Loki had imagined had been a thoroughly interesting conversation with T’Challa, and T’Challa had then sent a few Dora Milaje to watch the Einherjar, which meant they had a roving band of guards following them around. So that was fun. 

“It hurt,” Bucky sad quietly. “It hurt less if I didn’t fight, but it always hurt. All I remember is the pain. They would strap me down and...it _hurt_. I remember breaking teeth before they put a mouthguard in me.” He rubbed at his jaw. “All I remember is the pain.” He shook his head. 

Loki frowned a bit, the corners of his lips turning down. He tossed Clint’s spoon up into the air and his seidr caught it, spinning it slowly. “I...I still do not remember it. Perhaps the repulsor blast to my face knocked me out?”

“It felt to me like they injected you with something to keep you unconscious,” Clint pointed out, licking oatmeal from his fingers. “I never felt them using the Chair on you, but maybe it was different because you were unconscious?” He shrugged.

Bucky swallowed thickly and tapped his fingers on the table, tracing the grain of the wood with his eyes. “HYDRA used to pull me out of cryo and use the Chair to wake me up. I could feel it even in sleep.”

Clint swore under his breath and shook his head. “Alright, man. Jesus. Maybe they’d just planned to use it on Loki. Or it was a backup or something.”

“Why did my arm hurt, then?” Loki questioned, seidr spinning around the spoon. Clint watched it for a moment and then reached up, snatching the spoon out of the air. Loki scowled at him.

“Probably injected you with something,” Clint shrugged, bending the spoon in his fingers.

Bucky nodded. His hand curled into a fist. He didn’t look up from the table as he spoke. “You read what all they experimented on me with?”

Clint looked to Loki, who lazily raised a hand and the Winter Soldier journal appeared in his palm. Clint took the book and paged through it, nodding when he came to a page outlining various substances that Bucky had been injected with. He frowned and then flipped to the page with Thor’s name on it, comparing something.

_Pet?_

_Thor brought HYDRA something. They don’t say what it is._ Clint pointed to a small notation on the bottom of Thor’s page. _Some kind of potion._

_You think they gave it to him to give to me?_

Clint nodded. _He was working with various organizations to get you back. HYDRA, Thanos, God knows who else. He gave them the Scepter, he traded it for this book, for information. Are you really the only thing he wanted?_ He shook his head. _Sir...it just doesn’t make sense. There has to be something more._

Loki rubbed at his head, opening a pocket dimension and pulling out a bag of potions. His hands shook too much to open the bag and Clint slapped his hands away, slipping the knot and pulling out a vial of heill. Loki gratefully took it and sipped at it, sending the bag and the dimension away, cradling the vial in his hands. _I still...my mind still believes Thor to live. Yet I know he is dead. How do I have both beliefs in my mind?_

“Can you two fucking speak out loud for once?”

Clint looked up to see Bucky glaring at them. “Did HYDRA ever implant false memories in you?” He paged through the journal, going up to the pages he hadn’t had a chance to read yet, using the bent spoon to hold the journal open. “Well, would you know if they had?”

_Perhaps some manner of test?_

“On him or you?” Clint asked mildly, looking up to see Bucky and Loki both white-faced and drawn. “We could do a test,” he expounded for Bucky. “Some sort of memory test to see if they’d put fake memories in you.” He turned his head to give Loki a thoughtful look. _Maybe the block I can’t get around in your mind is fake memories. Maybe whatever they injected you with somehow put them in your head._

Loki pursed his lips. _At this point, you know my mind better than I do. Can you not see what is forged or synthetic? Surely it could not be difficult._

_You’re aware you’re like 1500 years old, right? And that you have, what, two or three lives in your head? You really think I can just page through that in a few days?_ Clint snorted. _It’d take weeks._

Loki nodded and stood up. “Very well,” he said out loud. Behind him, the Dora Milaje and the Einherjar readied themselves to follow him. “Do you still wish to go under, Bucky?”

Bucky slowly copied Loki, using his hand to lever himself to his feet. “I don’t feel safe knowing that someone could find me and activate me,” he said quietly. “Sam thinks I’m safe, but…” He shook his head. 

“We will speak to the seidrmadrs that Balder brings forth, and then we will go to Asgard. You will be safe there,” Loki decided. Bucky blinked a few times, confused. “Come,” he said, and swept off. Bucky frowned at Clint, who just shrugged at him and gathered up their bowls and cups and spoons and the Winter Soldier journal before following Loki. Bucky ran his hand through his hair and then jogged behind them, making sure to keep Clint between him and the various warriors. Clint noticed and just shot him an amused look. 

The Bifrost opened before them and Balder stepped out, three Asgardian scientists and three seidrmadrs behind him. Both Clint and Loki took in an identical breath. They knew these Aesir.

The scientists were Liv, Olavo, and Birger. The seidrmadrs were Alverus and Nidi, and Kvistr, who they both knew now was merely an assistant and not an anchor.

Kvistr’s lips curled into a nasty smile as Loki stepped up next to them. “Prince Tori,” he greeted snidely and softly. The six of them all bowed to Loki in greeting.

* * *

“Am I supposed to know who they are?” Steve asked Clint, looking through the window into the conference room where Balder and Loki were talking with the Aesir seidrmadrs and the scientists. 

“You’ve met them,” Clint told him. “In that last life. Loop, whatever. Thor brought them to the Sanctum to help the Avengers build a ship to go to Nidavellir, maybe? God, I barely remember. Anyway, they’re all wicked smart, and all wicked assholes.”

“I can see that,” Steve muttered, glaring a bit at Kvistr, who was tossing little bits of seidr at Loki, who was steadfastly ignoring him. A minute later, Loki snarled and slammed his hand down on the table, sending a large crack through it. 

He turned and threw Kvistr’s seidr back at him, stretching to his feet, towering over him. “I am your _Prince,_” Loki hissed. “I am the one who killed Thor. I am the one who wields Mjolnir. You will treat me with respect or I will cut your throat and consider it my utmost duty to see that your corpse is left to _rot._”

Kvistr swallowed and nodded hurriedly, as did the other seidrmadrs and scientists when Loki turned his poisonous gaze upon them. 

Clint clapped and whistled behind the glass as Loki carefully retook his seat. His Loki was clawing his way back to the surface, one step at a time. 

Balder just grinned at the lot of them and continued talking. “It would do Asgard proud to have her Prince home again,” he said finally. “My scientists can have access through the Bifrost in order to collaborate with the Midgardians. Is this suitable, Prince?”

Loki inclined his head. 

On the other side of the glass, Clint’s eyes narrowed. 

“Of course it is, my King,” Loki said smoothly. “I would be happy to return to Asgard. Perhaps I could even be persuaded into accepting one of your appointments.” He smiled a bit slowly and thinly.

“Wait,” Steve said. “He wants to go _back_ to Asgard?”

“Yeah,” Clint replied slowly. “The place he ran away from. The place he nearly disavowed any legacy to. And he wants to go back.”

He shook his head and strode out the room, slamming open the door to the conference room. Clint waved awkwardly at Balder, who spun around to glare at him. “Boss, we gotta talk.”

Loki frowned a bit but pushed to his feet and strode out the door, walking past Clint and Steve, who’d joined him out in the hallway. Clint gave Balder a bit of an awkward wave and, thanking the Norns that Loki was already considered eccentric and wouldn’t be killed for being the biggest disrespectful asshole this side of the Nine Realms, he tore off down the hall after Loki. 

He managed to grab onto Loki’s arm right before he was gathering seidr to vanish. _Nope!_ he said loudly. _Either you tell me why you want to go back to Asgard or I make Cap hold you down and I’ll fucking figure out why on my own._

Loki glanced over him and then narrowed his gaze on Clint’s hand on his arm. _I must return home. If Thor is gone, then Asgard is my home, and I must return._

_You practically severed ties completely to Asgard,_ Clint said back, feeling himself veer too close to begging. _You wouldn’t go back there if your life depended on it._

_Bucky’s life may depend on it,_ Loki pointed out, like he was talking to someone who had never met him before. 

Clint barely restrained himself from rolling his eyes. _You barely even care. He doesn’t want your help, so he can get it somewhere else. You keep acting like I don’t_ know _you._

Loki raised an eyebrow at him. _Do you?_

_Of course I do, you idiot,_ Clint scoffed. _This is really the hill you want to die on? Whatever they injected you with is making you want to go back to Asgard, so you’re not going back._

Loki’s lips slowly curled in a mocking smile and he leaned over Clint a bit, intending to be intimidating. “And how do _you_ intend to stop me?”

Clint crossed his arms over his chest. “I’m staying here. You try to make me go to Asgard, Heimdall just sends me back. You’re not taking anyone with you. Bucky stays here, Steve stays here, I stay here. I’ll beg you if you want. But you go to Asgard, you go by yourself.”

A strangely vulnerable look flashed over Loki’s face, and dismay filled him before he pushed it down. Clint grit his jaw. Loki could make him go, but this Loki wasn’t _right,_ and he wouldn’t think of that. 

“You go alone, or you stay here, and we help you.”

Loki nodded thoughtfully. 

Before Clint could say anything, Loki reached out and brushed his fingers over Clint’s forehead, and they disappeared in a flash of green light.

* * *

_You will always be mine._


	4. PART 4

Loki jerked awake in his own bed, Thor’s final words echoing through his mind. For the first time in recent memory, his head didn’t hurt. But the rest of him did. He felt _awful_. His instinct was to hide and ride out the sickness on his own, but he could sense two other people in the room. 

_Hey, idiot,_ Clint’s voice came through, a bit fond. Calloused fingers brushed over his hand, and Loki curled his entire body under the furs. He knew these furs. He frowned.

_Why am I upon Asgard?_

_Because the curse potion you were injected with was going to kill you when you came back here, so, of course, you had to come back. For the dramatics, I bet._

Loki thought about that. He remembered swimming in confusion and grief and wanting his brother so badly that he could almost taste it. He wanted…someone. There was someone missing. 

Loki poked his head out from under the furs, meeting Clint’s exhausted and fond gaze. He reached his hand out and Clint obediently caught his fingers, intertwining their fingers. He held out a glass of water with his free hand, and Loki struggled to sit up enough to take it and drink it without spilling any of it. His entire body _hurt._

An unfamiliar, if rather handsome, man came around Clint and smiled down at him, something a bit pained in his gaze. “Hi, Loki,” he said softly, reaching out to help him sit up. Loki froze. “I’m Steve.”

Loki let Steve prop him against the pillows before slapping his hands away, curling his body away from the man. Clint was fine, even though being around anyone while he was so vulnerable was painful, and he did not know this man. Clint switched their hands and helped Loki sip at the water. 

“These are my old chambers,” Loki said after he finished the glass, looking around the massive bedroom. It looked similar to how he remembered it, if a bit sparsely decorated. The unfamiliar man, Steve, sat back down in Loki’s massive reading chair and pulled out a phone and tapped through it.

The door opened and Eir came in, followed by an array of floating vials. She looked completely exhausted, but grateful to see Loki awake. What on Midgard had happened while he slept?

“My Prince,” she greeted, and Clint got up to glance over the vials she’d brought in before Loki could have them. Loki furrowed his brow. 

_Since when do you have such advanced potions knowledge that you could identify these specific potions by sight or smell?_

Clint handed him the first one, looking a bit amused. _Ever since you were unconscious for a month. Drink up._

“A month?” Loki repeated incredulously, looking around the room. “I was not...a _month?_”

“Drink,” Eir ordered, pushing Clint closer to Loki. Clint helped Loki raise the potion to his mouth and drink it down.

“You brought Clint to Asgard thirty days ago,” Steve said apropos of nothing, still looking down at his phone. He sounded just as tired as everyone else. “You took one step onto the Bifrost and collapsed. Clint collapsed with you. Heimdall took you to the healers, who eventually found the curse in your bloodstream.”

Clint helped him drink the next potion while Eir cast a spell to check his vital signs and some unfamiliar brain functions. Loki settled back against the pillows and waved for Steve to continue speaking. 

Steve put his phone away and smiled a bit at him, something kind in his eyes. He was so very handsome. Loki wondered why he was here, and looked to Clint for an answer, but Clint just shook his head and sent him a soothing wave of comfort. Loki furrowed his brow. He was missing something. 

“Clint woke up after ten days, and called me here.”

“Why you?” Loki queried, looking between Clint and Steve.

Steve smiled tiredly. “We’re old friends, Clint and I.”

“Ah. Have we met?”

Something strange and sad crossed Steve’s face, and he slowly shook his head. “No, not yet.”

Clint pushed another potion vial against Loki’s mouth before he could say anything else, and he faded into slumber only a few minutes later. 

Clint joined him in his dreams.

They sat on the Bifrost Bridge, kicking their feet out over the great waters underneath, looking out over the stars. Clint was wrapped in a heavy purple blanket, a steaming mug in his hands, something quiet and calm crossing his face. Loki looked down and he was wearing unfamiliar clothes, a shirt that was too big, stretched out by someone far more muscular than he. He was wearing blue sweatpants that were a few inches too short.

_What happened?_ he asked, taking Clint’s mug out of his hands and drinking some of the coffee. He grimaced at the taste and conjured a bit of chocolate to mix it in.

Clint smiled up at him and leaned against Loki’s side, wrapping his blanket around both of their shoulders. _I missed you,_ he whispered. _God, I missed you so fucking much._

Loki swallowed down the rest of the coffee and conjured more. _Tell me._

_I tried to get you to stay on Midgard,_ Clint informed him quietly. _We found out that the curse was administered by one of Ross’s assistants, who had ties to HYDRA. Steve combed through every single file we pulled from HYDRA’s servers and every single bit of info you and Sam pulled from Tony’s computers. He found more info tying Thor to HYDRA, and more info on the Chair that was used on Buck. Buck let him look at the Winter Soldier journal and give Shuri info on helping him get those words out of his head._

_Did he go into cryostasis?_

Clint sighed. _No, not yet. Not that I’m aware of. I’ve been busy with the healers here, trying to figure out the curse and trying to figure out how to wake you up. I think Sam basically begged him to stay out of cryo._

Loki nodded and slid his arm around Clint’s shoulders. He thought for a few moments, and then asked, _Where are your hearing aids?_

_We’re in a dream. Don’t need them._

_You still have not allowed our healers to fix it?_

Loki conjured a couch and pulled Clint up into it, tugging Clint into his lap as they both sprawled the length of the couch, pulling the purple blanket up over both of them. 

_Eir looked at my ears, said the curse was probably unbreakable. You spent months trying to fix it. I asked Steve to hit me with Mjolnir, but he refused._

_Steve can wield Mjolnir?_

Clint sighed. _Yeah, boss, he can. Both you and he can._

Loki held his hand up and with a crack of lightning, Mjolnir smacked into his palm. He held the hammer up to the sky and _pulled_. Storm clouds swarmed them and thunder and lightning filled the sky as rain poured down. Loki looked upon the storm with wonder.

Clint grumbled and held the purple blanket over his head.

_How am I worthy?_ Loki asked, dropping Mjolnir over the side of the couch after sending the storm away. _I recall killing Thor but I do not remember becoming worthy._

Clint shrugged one shoulder, kicking the blanket off his legs. _My working theory is that whoever kills the wielder of Mjolnir automatically becomes worthy. Your theory is that the worthiness spell or whatever passed onto you and whoever you think is worthy can wield it, which I don’t think is true, since you spent 1500 years being pinned down by it. There’s no way you’d think you’re worthy, so I think it’s a transference thing._

_Then how can this _Steve_ wield it?_

Clint chuckled a bit and propped his chin up on Loki’s chest. _Well, if anyone is worthy, it’s Steve. Trust me, once you get to know him, you’ll understand._

_If you and he are such dear friends, how have I not met him?_

Clint sat up and shook his head. _I’ll tell you soon._ Carefully, he plucked the mug from Loki’s hands and set it in the air. He grinned. _Hey, you need to give me some of those fancy magic powers in real life. I want to make shit float._

Loki rolled his eyes. 

_Let’s just watch the stars. I just missed you a lot._

Loki propped himself up against the arm of the couch and nodded.

Clint kicked his legs over the other arm of the couch and rested his head on Loki’s thighs, right at the height where Loki’s fingers could run through his hair. God, it was good to be home.

* * *

Steve watched as Clint helped Loki sit down at a small table in his chambers. Loki had been a bit unsteady the past few days after waking up, and Clint had been practically glued to his side. 

It was more awful than he was expecting to have Loki look at him and see _nothing_ in his eyes. 

When Loki had been under the effects of the curse potion, he’d looked at Steve like he thought he was supposed to know him. He’d seen something unfamiliar in Loki’s eyes when he’d appeared on the Quinjet while they were flying to the HYDRA bunker, and he’d known something was wrong when Loki had been acting so strangely, but there’d always been something just a little more important, something that took priority. 

Clint pet down Loki’s hair and Loki slapped his hand away. Steve’s fists clenched in his lap. He missed Loki like his own arm. His very soul felt stripped from his body. He couldn’t understand the rationale of Bucky being his soulmate when he missed Loki as if the god was the breath in his lungs. 

They’d done the right thing. The only thing. But it was _awful_. Clint was adamant that Loki would fall in love with him again, but Steve wasn’t so certain. Loki had seen him as a light where all other lights in his life had gone out. There wasn’t any incentive now for Loki to see him as anything other than Clint’s friend.

Steve rubbed at his chest, right over his heart, where it had ached ever since Loki had learned that Bucky was his soulmate and had turned away from him. Clint had told him it was the uncompleted soulbond on Loki’s end reaching out, and that it’d pull them back together, but Steve wasn’t too sure about that. Loki seemed amenable to have him there, but was clearly only tolerating him because Clint considered him a friend. 

It was awful to see Loki wear his clothes and still treat him like a stranger.

Clint bustled back into the room, a tea tray floating behind him. He waved Steve over to the small tea table and Steve paused before obliging, sitting across from Loki. Clint poured them both a cup of tea and gave them a few finger sandwiches and scones, then made himself a cup of tea and then curled up on the nearest couch, calling up Laura on his phone and turning away from them.

Loki picked up one of the finger sandwiches and grimaced.

“Not to your taste, huh?” Steve asked gently, a bit of a smile in his voice. 

Loki frowned at him and clasped his hands in his lap. “How do you know Clint?”

“We work together,” Steve said quietly, and then thought about it. “Well, we used to. He’s retired now, and I guess so am I.”

Loki nodded a bit. “So you were an Avenger as well?”

“Captain America, at your service.”

Loki frowned. “I know that name.” He furrowed his brow and then suddenly stood up and left the room. Steve made to go after him but Clint threw a pillow at him and shook his head. Steve turned back to his tea. 

Clint talked to Laura for a few more minutes and then hung up the phone, turning to grin at Steve. He adjusted his hearing aids and kicked his feet up on the arm of the couch. “We’ll probably head back to Wakanda in a day or two. I want Shuri to look him over, see how Buck’s doing and all that. Then we’ll go back to my house.”

Steve nodded and looked to the place to his left where Loki would’ve knelt, once upon a time. His heart felt shattered all over again. 

“You’re always welcome,” Clint continued, his voice soft. “Cap, I meant it when I said I was choosing you.”

Before Clint could go on, Steve said, “Do you remember what you told me when you first revealed your bond to him? That he wanted it to be me instead of you?” Steve turned his head to meet Clint’s gaze. “I wish it had been me.”

* * *

_Why is it I stopped keeping journals?_

Clint shrugged. _Why the hell would I care?_

Loki casually threw a whip of seidr at him that caught Clint across the cheek, and he stumbled and almost fell. Loki continued walking—well, it was more like stalking—down the hall, and Clint hurried to catch up. _I remember writing letters. Where are they?_

Clint threw his hands up. _What letters? Why exactly would I know what fucking letters you’re talking about? Just because I can read your mind doesn’t mean you’re actually thinking about specific letters! You’re just being a dick for no reason!_

Loki ignored him.

_I don’t know why you stopped keeping journals. You never wrote about Steve in any of them, though._

Loki abruptly stopped walking and didn’t look at him. Clint kept going down the hall.

_You’re trying to figure out how I know him. You never wrote any of that down._ Clint sent him a mental shrug. _You wrote down a bunch of letters in your last life when Thor imprisoned you. Maybe that’s what you’re thinking of._ Clint stopped in front of a massive set of doors with inlaid runes and knocked.

The door swung open and Loki swept past Clint and slammed the doors shut behind him. Clint rolled his eyes and turned to leave, but Loki’s voice came through his mind, demanding he stay and wait. Clint leaned against the wall outside the rooms and crossed his arms over his chest, trying to figure out what had Loki so wound up. He’d been tetchy ever since he’d met Steve. Maybe it was the unresolved soulbond between them?

Clint frowned and something finally, finally clicked into place, a question that had been niggling at the back of his mind for _months:_ how could Loki and Steve have a partially finished soulbond if Steve and Bucky were soulmates?

_Hey, can I borrow the Tesseract?_

_What on Midgard for?_

Loki was distracted with Boda and whatever jewels and weapons he wanted and didn’t seem keen to figure out exactly what Clint was planning, which was good. _Just need to check in on something._

_If I give it to you, will you leave me alone?_

_You already know the answer to that._

A moment later, the Tesseract appeared in front of him and Clint grabbed it. It was good that he was basically half-seidr at this point, given that the Tesseract had a history of really fucking up any human that used it. He activated it and a moment later, appeared in front of Hjalmar’s cabin.

The massive Aesir was relaxing in front of his small cabin, smoking a pipe and drinking mun-gat out of a huge jug. He was wearing thick furs over stitched leathers and his hair and beard were as red and wild as ever. He blinked at Clint appearing in front of him and then raised his hand, a sword smacking into his palm. 

“Oh, none of that,” Clint told him, shaking his head. “Personally, I’d love to see the retribution handed down to you if you hurt me, but I’m not here for that.” 

Hjalmar glowered at him, and then dropped the sword, sitting up straight. “Why are you here?” He took a deep drink and then belched loudly. “Does the Prince’s little pet ask something of me?”

Clint grinned easily at him. “Aw, come on. You can come up with something better than that.” He tossed the Tesseract up in the air and caught it again, bringing it up to eye-level to regard it thoughtfully. “I’m assuming you know what this is, right? They call it the Tesseract. What it really is, though, is an Infinity Stone.”

Hjalmar straightened from his slouch.

“Oh, I’m not going to give it to you. The King gave it to me. What I’m telling you is that if you don’t give me what I want, I’m going to open a pathway from here to the sun and push you into it.”

Hjalmar looked at him and then tipped his head back and laughed. He swallowed down the rest of his mun-gat and stood up, towering over Clint, who stiffened his shoulders and planted himself. “You can ask nothing of me, _human,_” he spat. “The only power you hold in Asgard is in Loki’s bed.”

Clint shrugged. “I usually leave the bed-warming to someone else, but I’m not here for you to insult me. Or try to insult me, since you’re too drunk to do it properly. I’m here for you to tell me why you lied to the Prince of Asgard.”

Hjalmar just laughed at him, beard and belly bouncing. “I did not lie. He has no soulmate.”

“See, I believe that. Frigga broke the bond and tied him back to Thor, and Loki broke that bond. I also believe that Steve’s soulmate _used_ to be Bucky. But they both technically died, didn’t they?” Hjalmar stiffened. Clint paced a bit before stopping himself. “Steve spent 70 years in the ice. He died and came back to life, I’d bet. That serum is some powerful shit. There’s no way Buck didn’t die at least once under HYDRA, and they would’ve brought him back.”

“You do not know of which you speak,” Hjalmar started, and Clint merely smiled at him.

“Death breaks soul bonds. We both know that. What I _also_ know is that someone can’t have more than one soulmate. Well, I mean, they _can_, but it’s so rare that I’m not even gonna count it. So, that means the question is: how can Steve be bound to both Loki and Bucky?” Clint pointed at Hjalmar and raised his chin when the Aesir summoned his sword back to his hand. “Oh, fucking come for me, you big asshole. I’d _love_ to see what happens.”

Hjalmar laughed at him again. “A good theory. You have no _proof_, however.”

“You helped Frigga break Loki’s soulbond. So you know who he was bound to. You’re going to tell me who it was or I’m going to throw you into the fucking sun.”

Hjalmar sneered at him and moved past him to slam open the door to his cabin. He threw his sword into a corner and picked up a small bag, opening it to reveal the Norn Stones. Clint didn’t move. Hjalmar pulled out one of the Stones and clenched it in his fist, closing his eyes.

A low, cold wind swept the cabin, and when Hjalmar opened his eyes, Clint was still there, standing in the doorway to the cabin, Tesseract in hand. Hjalmar frowned and wished again, but Clint still didn’t disappear.

“Funny that,” Clint said, tilting his head at the Norn Stones. “There’s two sets of Norn Stones in this reality. One set was Thor’s, given to him by Frigga. The other set was Loki’s, also given to him by Frigga. Thor’s Norn Stones were spelled to be unusable by Loki, on the off chance he ever found them. But Loki had Stones as well.” Clint smiled, just a bit. “When I found Stormbreaker, I also found Thor’s Stones. Wouldn’t you know, I took them. Little present to myself. Guess who I gave them to?”

“Loki,” Hjalmar ground out.

Clint grinned at him. “Hey, got it in one! He used his Stones to enchant those Stones to basically be unusable. Oh, you can get drink, or food, or books. But you can’t hurt me.” Clint tossed the Tesseract up in the air and caught it, holding the cube up so he could examine it. “Good luck with getting those Stones to do anything real. All the seidr is practically leeched out of them anyway. So, seidrmadr, you’re going to tell me what I want to know. Or, again, I’ll throw you into the sun.”

* * *

* * *

Hjalmar poured himself another mug of mun-gat before settling down at his kitchen table, examining one of the useless Norn Stones. Clint leaned against the open doorway and watched the giant Aesir as his beard trembled and he tried to speak.

Finally, Hjalmar told him, his voice hoarse, “Frigga came to me, seeking my knowledge. She told me she wished to know about soul bonds, on how to find both of her sons’ bonds. She stole a book from me. When she found that it would be too difficult for her, she brought the book back and demanded I assist her.” He swallowed down half the mug and then looked down into it. “I could not deny my Queen.”

“Who was it?” Clint asked softly. “Was it that book I saw? That shit is _evil._”

Hjalmar nodded and stoked down his beard with one trembling hand. “She drugged them both and dragged them before me. Demanded I find their soulmates and break their bonds.” Hjalmar looked up at Clint and tears ran down his cheeks. “She would have killed me.”

Clint nodded, trying to be understanding. “You should’ve let her.”

Hjalmar nodded again. “I left soon after. She paid me handsomely and I bought this cabin and I have refused to help anyone again.”

“Except for Loki,” Clint said slowly. “You threw him out when he wanted the bond between him and Thor broken. What, was Frigga keeping tabs on you?”

“She told me that if I helped him, she would kill me.”

“So why did you lie?”

Hjalmar gulped down the rest of the mun-gat and then shook his head. “Loki has no bond. I had to create one. It nearly killed the both of us.” He looked at Clint with teary eyes. “Thor was the one with a soulmate. Her name was…” He shook his head and opened his hand, a scroll zooming across the room and into his grasp. Hjalmar unrolled the scroll and tapped his finger on the page, black writing arcing out from his touch. “Jane Foster of Midgard. She...she was destined to wield Mjolnir.”

“What happened to her?” Clint asked stiffly.

“Frigga killed her.” He cleared his throat. “She had Thor...bring down Mjolnir upon her.”

Jesus fuck. 

No wonder she’d stopped replying to his emails.

Clint rubbed his forehead where Mjolnir had breached him. Loki, whatever. “So, what, you somehow created a soulbond and tied their souls together? Why didn’t Loki need a soulmate?”

Hjalmar let out a hacking laugh. “He had you, Clint. In every life, he always had you.”

“I _lived_ those lives. I’ve seen all of them. I was only his twice. We’re not soulmates, anyway.”

“No, you’re not. But you’re tied together. And you were his regardless of whether or not you came together.” Hjalmar twirled one of his fingers and his wooden mug was refilled. He slurped noisily at it and then said, “When Loki broke his bond to Thor, it didn’t _go away_. It went to the Captain. The _human,_” Hjalmar scoffed. “At least you’re not human.”

“I _was_ human,” Clint pointed out. “I doubt I’m any more human than Steve is, anyway, with the serum and all. This isn’t about me, anyway, Hjalmar. Why did you lie?”

Hjalmar turned to face him completely, and then slowly, raised his hand to his beard. He lifted the hair away from his neck and showed off a long, gnarled, white scar, cutting across his pale neck. It stretched from ear to ear and looked like someone had tried to behead him. Clint let out a surprised breath. Christ. “Frigga said she would finish it,” Hjalmar whispered, brushing his fingers over the scar, which turned a dark red when he touched it. Clint whistled. A curse scar, then. 

“How about this, then: you come back to the palace with me, and you tell Steve and Loki everything. In turn, Loki will remove the curse for you.”

Hjalmar lowered his beard and looked at him. “Loki would not do that for me.”

“No,” Clint agreed. “But he’d do it if I asked.”

* * *

“There’s a few things you need to know,” Clint told Hjalmar as they walked down the hall to the throne room. Balder had refused to allow Hjalmar within the palace unless he was accompanied by Einherjar, and then had decided he was only allowed in the throne room, which was damn fine by Clint. “Thor was working with a Midgardian agency that was basically evil. He worked with them to try to get Loki back. He ended up giving one of them a curse potion. Uh..._Heinstrengingar._” Hjalmar stiffened and Clint nodded. “Yeah, anyway. It basically made Loki forget Steve, and there was a sub-curse that made Loki want to come to Asgard. The sub-curse was activated by the Bifrost, and it was supposed to kill him. Instead, the healers were able to pause it, essentially, and it just basically put him in a coma for a month. But to bring him out of it, to fix it, Steve had to be erased from his mind. Completely. He has no idea who the Captain is.” Clint took in a deep breath. “He doesn’t know anything about a soulbond.”

“They took everything from him,” Hjalmar said slowly, and Clint nodded.

“It wasn’t just Frigga, you know. But, yeah, Thor wanted him back real bad. Anyway, what I’m saying is: you need to be careful. I mean _really_ careful. But you’re going to tell them that you lied, and why, and you’re going to help them. You’re going to fix it.”

Hjalmar stopped walking. “You wish for me to bind two souls, one of which is unknowing?”

“No. Well, I mean, yeah. I’d just like all the drama to be over with, but this is Loki we’re talking about. So, no. I want you to...soothe it for awhile. Make everyone stop hurting. That’s all. Steve is in agony, Loki has been suffering ever since _you_ lied. So you’re going to fix it.” Clint shrugged and they stopped at the top of the stairs outside the throne room. The four Einherjar posted out in front of the doors all pointedly looked away from the two of them. Clint moved to motion for them to open the doors and then stopped himself, turning to look back at Hjalmar. “People like to underestimate me, you know. I don’t really care. But my whole job is to take care of Loki. That’s what I was created for. It’s what I _exist_ for. So I want you to believe me when I say that if you do _anything_ to hurt him, I will tear you apart. Either of them. Do we understand each other?”

Hjalmar looked at him, looked at Clint’s set jaw and straight shoulders and the hard look in his eyes, and the seidrmadr nodded. 

Clint nodded to the Einherjar and they pushed open the doors for them.

Loki stood next to the throne, clad in formal Asgardian wear, hands clasped behind his back. Clint grinned at him and waved Hjalmar forward, the both of them stopping at the bottom of the stairs up to the throne, next to Steve, who was wearing khakis and a blue button up and brown shoes. Loki stepped away from the throne and threw it a distasteful look, descending the stairs. Clint met him halfway up and Loki carefully cradled his jaw in his hands, brushing his thumbs over Clint’s cheekbones. 

_Don’t worry,_ Clint soothed. _It’ll all be alright in the end._

_Did the seidrmadr harm you?_

_Naw,_ Clint grinned. _I’m too tough._

Loki rolled his eyes and stepped away from him, glancing around the throne room with a look of distaste. He clasped his hands again behind his back, and inclined his head towards Steve and Hjalmar. _Are you going to tell me what they’re doing here? I had believed this was a meeting with the King._

_Well, it technically is. We just gotta figure some stuff out first._

Loki gave him a sidelong glance as they stopped next to Steve and Hjalmar. _You’re aware I could merely look?_

Clint shrugged as he stepped behind Loki, staying at his right hand. Hjalmar stepped a few paces away from them, and after a moment, Steve stepped up to Loki’s left hand to be at the same level as him. Clint gave him an approving look when Steve glanced back at him.

_Oh, you find it more entertaining when I can keep a secret from you._

Loki glanced over Steve and then turned his head to look back at Clint. 

“Does the King come?” Loki asked the room as a whole, and just a moment later, a side door slammed open and Balder burst in, greeting them all with a loud cry. Loki inclined his head as Balder came down the steps, and Balder ended up wrapping a highly resistant Loki in a hug that lifted him off his feet. Loki stiffened and Balder let out a great big laugh as he lowered the god to the floor and stepped back, clapping his hands on Loki’s shoulders. 

“The King is here,” Balder smiled, and slid his hands from Loki’s shoulders to clap Steve on the back and give Clint a nod. Then he turned to Hjalmar. “I know little of you, seidrmadr, but what I do know, I have not liked.” Balder turned to mount the stairs, stopping part way up. “I would implore you, seidrmadr, to tread carefully. You have no rights here.”

Hjalmar bowed. “I understand, King.”

Steve turned his head to look at Clint. “Why aren’t they using each other’s names?” he hissed.

Clint leaned in closer. “It’s a respect thing. Like he hasn’t earned Balder’s respect enough to use his name. It’s an Aesir thing.” 

Steve nodded and turned back to look at Balder. The last time he’d been in this room, as big and as glamorous and grand as it was, was when Loki had still loved him. He clenched his hands into fists and took in a deep breath. He could get through this. He was Captain fucking America. He could do this. He could do whatever they needed of him here and then he would leave. This was the last thing Clint could ask of him, because he was an idiot in love with someone who didn’t even know him.

Hjalmar turned to the three of them. “My Prince,” he greeted Loki, his voice quiet and kind. “Do you remember our last meeting?”

Loki frowned a bit, glancing between Clint and Hjalmar before inclining his head slightly. “I recall you telling me something I was...unprepared to hear, but it is lost to me.”

“I lied,” Hjalmar admitted, his voice barely a whisper. Steve stiffened in rage. “Your Captain is no longer soulmates with James Barnes. Their bond was broken when they both died.”

Loki frowned, and at the same time, Clint grabbed Steve’s arm before he could punch Hjalmar’s brain out of his skull. A reasonable response, in Clint’s opinion, but not really one they could deal with right now. Maybe later, though. 

“Why would that information displease me, seidrmadr?” Loki queried, something tremulous in his voice, but he quickly cleared his throat. “I do not have a soulmate.”

Hjalmar let out a great sigh. “No, Prince, you do not. But Frigga had me create one for you, after she broke Thor’s soulbond.”

Up on the throne, Balder hid his gasp behind his hand.

“I reached my hands into your very soul and pulled out a piece of it, which I then tied to Thor’s. You broke that bond, Prince.” He let out a breath. “Clint showed me a memory of yours, in which you showed your soul to a Midgard seidrmadr.”

Loki bared his teeth. Clint grabbed his arm with his other hand, holding both of them back.

“You had begun a rudimentary soulbond with Stephen Strange, which, I believe, could still be activated if given the chance. However, your soul has irrevocably tied itself to Captain Rogers.”

Loki turned his head, very slowly, to look at Steve. Steve swallowed thickly and kept his gaze on Hjalmar, who was watching the three of them with an awful, haunted look.

“I am here to soothe your souls, and to ask a favor of you, Prince Loki.”

Loki didn’t look away from Steve as he ground out, “Why, in this reality or any other, would I give you _anything,_ seidrmadr? If you have done as you say.”

“Because,” Clint said softly, “Frigga made him. She would’ve killed him otherwise.”

Loki whirled on him. “He should’ve _let her,_” he snarled, blinking the tears out of his eyes. “Do you not understand what he has done? He _tore me in two._”

“I know,” Clint replied, keeping his voice gentle as possible. “I promise I know. I wouldn’t ask you if I didn’t think it was right. But Frigga hurt him just as she hurt you. She hurt _everyone_. You can do something to lessen that hurt, just a bit. Wouldn’t you want someone to do that for you?”

Loki snarled at him and turned back, still refusing to look at Steve. He’d known he’d forgotten something when he’d woken up, but he couldn’t imagine it was the man who was practically his soulmate. He couldn’t imagine it was _Steve_, who was so kind and patient with him, who was _Clint’s_ friend.

“Very well,” Loki said finally. “Tell me what you wish to do to us and then I will see if I can lift your curse.”

“I already know you can,” Clint offered up helpfully, and without looking, Loki struck him with a blast of seidr that shot him across the room. Steve moved to help him but Loki shook his head. Balder let out a bit of a laugh at all of them from his throne. 

Hjalmar’s hands shook as he raised them, red seidr spilling from his fingers. It arced across the room and touched both Loki and Steve in the center of their chests. “Your souls ache for one another,” Hjalmar told them softly. “I cannot bind you, not when one of you is unknowing. But I can...ease the ache.” Before either of them could say anything, Hjalmar sent a pulse down the line and both Steve and Loki gasped and fell into one another, going to their knees, arms wrapped around each other.

Clint picked himself up and dusted himself off and then walked back over, watching as Loki let himself, just for a moment, curl into Steve’s embrace. Steve held Loki so carefully, like he was made of glass, as if his touch would shatter Loki into pieces.

Hjalmar removed his seidr and rubbed his hands together.

Loki panted into Steve’s neck, feeling Steve pant back into his own. His mind spun. He didn’t realize how out of control he’d felt until he was in Steve’s arms, how much his soul had ached. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was at peace.

A few minutes later, Steve pushed to his feet, and Loki leaned his forehead against the man’s thigh, Steve’s shaking fingers brushing through his hair. 

Then, Loki remembered himself, and he shoved himself away, crawling along the floor for a moment before shoving himself to his feet, narrowing his eyes at Steve, who looked like he’d been punched in the heart. Loki didn’t _understand_. Whatever he’d forgotten, whatever Steve knew that he didn’t...did he even want to know?

“What curse is it?” Loki asked Clint, not taking his eyes off Steve.

“Uh...turns red when he touches it. Looks like someone tried to cut his head off. I think it’s gone latent now that she’s dead, but she could’ve killed him at any time. Just slide your seidr into the scar and you can cut the curse away from it.”

Hjalmar nodded. “It’s warded against me,” he said softly. “Loki, Prince, you cannot understand how sorry I am.”

Loki sent a knife of seidr at the seidrmadr and a moment later, he gasped, grabbing at his neck. And then Loki pulled out the Tesseract, activated it, and disappeared.

Clint shrugged when everyone looked at him. “Sorry,” he said to Balder, rubbing at the back of his neck. “Anyway, you mind if we go, King? I figure Steve and I got a lot to talk about.”

“One second,” Steve interrupted, stepping forward, glaring at Hjalmar. “What was the potion you gave us? I know it wasn’t what you said it was.”

Hjalmar let out another great sigh. “It took the soul seeking potion,” he replied, motioning to Clint. “You and the Prince took a hallucinogenic created to mimic the effects of a soul seeking potion but instead to show someone or something you fear.”

Clint sighed. “Jesus fuckin’ Christ, man. C’mon.”

“It was Frigga’s orders if Loki ever came seeking the truth, as well as telling him his soulbond was romantic—”

“To justify Thor’s behavior towards him,” Clint finished with a disgusted grimace. Hjalmar didn’t say anything. 

“Hold on,” Steve interrupted, holding up a hand. “I saw Thor. He wasn’t _doing_ anything. He was just standing there, on some strange planet, just _waiting_. How is that something I’m afraid of?”

Hjalmar shook his massive head. “Only you would know the answer. It is not for me to know.”

Balder lounged in his throne and stroked a hand down his beard. “Escort the seidrmadr from the palace,” he finally commanded, clearly tired of all the questions. “Steve, please stay behind.”

Clint inclined his head and bustled Hjalmar from the throne room. The seidrmadr was stroking at his neck, and Clint caught a flash of a bare throat, finally unscarred. He shot Steve a grin as the doors closed behind them.

Steve took in a deep breath and turned to Balder. “Your Highness,” he greeted, his voice a bit soft.

Balder laughed at him, sprawling out over his throne, waving a hand at him. “Oh, you know me better than that, little Steve. Now, you are family, or nearly so. So tell your king: how are you? What ails you?”

Steve looked up at Balder, who had been such a strong support for him and Clint over the past month while Loki had been in a coma. He’d been the one who ultimately bring up that Loki would have to forget something in order to be awoken, and when they hadn’t been able to decide on just _what_ he should forget, Balder had suggested one of them. Steve had decided for them, of course. It would be too cruel for Loki to wake up to have a stranger in his head, and he’d already forgotten Steve. He hadn’t know how hard it would be, of course, to be truly _gone_ from Loki’s mind. But he’d sacrificed before, and he would do it again.

“I am in pain,” Steve finally said. Balder nodded, sitting up a bit. “My heart aches but my soul is at peace. For the moment, at least.”

“He will come to love you again,” Balder told him, strong and sure of it. “Loki is still within Asgard. If you wish to speak to him, I can find out his location.”

Steve took in a deep breath and nodded.

* * *

Steve and Clint landed in front of Loki almost at the same time. He was sitting at the base of a tree, tossing Mjolnir up in the air over and over again, lightning sparking out from his fingers. He’d changed into one of Steve’s sweatshirts and a pair of purple leggings and black flats. The neck of the of the sweatshirt had been torn out and it was slipping down one of his shoulders.

Steve went to his knees next to him and reached out for him, but managed to stop himself. Clint settled on the ground at Loki’s feet, resting an elbow on his knee and his chin on his palm.

“I do not know you,” Loki told Steve without looking at him, tossing Mjolnir ever higher. Steve swallowed and nodded. “But I wish to.”

* * *

Laura and the kids met them back at the house, once Loki had finished repairing it. They’d spent the past few months living with Laura’s parents, and Laura was almost in tears at being able to come home. Loki smiled at her when she slid out of the truck, and Laura hugged Clint first before wrapping Loki in a tight hug.

“Thank you for keeping him safe,” Laura whispered into Loki’s ear, and he nodded, watching as she stepped back to give Clint another kiss.

Loki looked at the house and let the family reunite, going inside to his rooms. He looked at the carvings in the walls, the scene of him and Thor in the woods, Frigga’s garden, Asgard, and finally, Steve Rogers, in uniform, shield in hand. He wanted to love this man again.

Loki took a deep breath and raised a hand, seidr slipping from his fingers, erasing every scene carved into the walls except for Steve. On either side of Steve’s portrait, his seidr carved in a scene from Asgard: a small, hidden pond, surrounded by brightly colored trees and tall grass and Mjolnir, resting upon a rock. On the other side, he carved in the Bifrost stretching out over the great waters, the Isle of Silence in the distance, the glittering stars in the dark sky.

A floorboard creaked behind him, and Loki turned to see Steve standing in the massive doorway, a bouquet of wildflowers clutched in his hand. “Hi there,” he said quietly, almost shyly. “Welcome home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well folks, this is the end of the civil war fic in this series. hope everyone enjoyed.
> 
> it was a lot of work figuring out how civil war would work in this verse. i hope that effort was clear in this fic, and i'm pretty proud of it. after this, this series pretty much departs completely from canon. dr strange and black panther both happen but more in the background instead of anything i'm really going to touch on. 
> 
> the next fics are where this labor of love really shows through. i absolutely have loved writing this series and i hope that shows through in the characters and the plot and just all of it. i have a lot more to write and a lot more for you to read.
> 
> i wanted to thank everyone for their response to this fic. i know at the end of utbod i got kind of maudlin about the lack of response i felt to something i've worked so hard on, and i just wanted to say a genuine thank you to everyone for helping me out with comments and kudos etc. i know this series isn't everyone's cup of tea and there's A Lot to get through and my writing style isn't for everyone, so thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for sticking around and caring as much about these characters as i do. i haven't been so good at replying to comments but i read every single one of them. i still don't know entirely why this series got less and less popular as it went on, but i suppose the redemption arc i was going for doesn't really appeal to everyone, or whatever it is.
> 
> the next fic is right around 73k. i doubt i'll post it next week, so expect a week off before i post the entire thing, as its going to take me probably every day of those 2 weeks to edit it. it is one part and a lot happens, so i'd recommend reading it in sections. i will say its very clint centric so just be prepared for that. there's 2 more fics after the next one and then the big last one. i'd really like to stay in this verse after The Big Last Fic and i have some stuff planned, but i think they'll mostly be one-shots or something similar to that. not entirely sure yet.
> 
> again, thank you to everyone who read and reviewed and left kudos. i appreciate it more than you know.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading! please leave kudos and comments!
> 
> follow me:  
tumblr: @deluxemycroft  
twitter: @whenhedied


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